What does this say?
Don't throw out that old too soft sponge,
toughen it up with a new abrasive side.
Say. Gary, did you order this for me?
Oh, it fits like a glove.
[meowing]
Thanks, Gary. You're always there for me.
Wonder how this thing works.
Ah, why don't ya scram, you little freeloader?
Eh, bottom feeder. See ya Gary.
[meowing]
Ooh, Patrick, how do you feel?
Like one of those hip, young old folks
from a soda commercial?
It's radical.
Radical.
Drink it.
My turn.
Lucky for you, Dr. Plankton's come prepared
with Plankton's Dandruff Control Shampoo.
A little of this stuff,
and the ladies will be breaking down your door.
Sign me up, professor.
Wise decision, gentlemen.
[humming]
Hey, what do we have here? You fellas look a little peaked.
Hmm. This shouldn't be. I wonder.
Say, this isn't Professor Plankton's
Dandruff Control Shampoo.
It's Professor Plankton's Mind Control Shampoo!
[laughing]
[screaming]
No worries, I made it.
SpongeBob, you look terrible.
I assure you, I am well rested and ready to learn.
Who knows, Mrs Puff, before the day is out,
you may have learned something yourself.
[spraying]
Hey, Mrs. Puff.
Yes, SpongeBob?
- I made this for you. - Made what?
This. The HMS Pinafore.
At one to 8,427th scale, of course.
Thank you, SpongeBob.
Gary, check out this new toy. Fetch.
Huh?
"New Boomerang Pet Ball. Really works."
[groaning, grunting]
Aye!
[grunting]
Hey, the invisible spray works.
And on your right, if you look,
you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint.
[laughing]
[shrieking] Oh, my gosh, Patrick,
help me find our clothes.
[laughing] I gotta
you look kind of funny. [laughing]
Oh! Righty, where are you?!
[laughing]
No one messes with Righty. We'll see how you like it.
Kind of gives you an empty feeling, huh?
Yeah. I
One magic kit and another one of these yellow things.
Here it is. Mister Magic's Magical Magic Kit.
[gasping]
Look at all this. A book of spells,
my very own wand of whimsy,
the beard of Rasputin and, of course,
the all important license to practice magic.
Well, Gary, there's only one thing left to do.
Call and have this place condemned.
Hello, operator,
City Hall, please, Office of Broken Dreams.
[meowing]
Oh, Gary, I'm sorry. With all this house ruckus,
I completely forgot to feed you. Here you go, buddy.
Furnished Pineapple in a Can. Oh, Gary, you are the best.
[laughing]
Whipped cream! [chuckles]
Oh, this whipped cream tastes awful.
Sha-veeng g-el.
[drilling]
I've always wanted a beard!
Me too. [laughing]
[crying]
Pardon me, ma'am, but how about some Dr. Krabton's
Miracle Everything Juice to quiet the little angels?
[sighing]
[groaning]
Why, Dr. Krabton's can fix up your boat for ya.
[banging]
See, there you go, good as new.
Say, it really works.
Three cheers for Everything Juice!
[cheering]
[clamoring]
I'll take one.
[clamoring]
Look at all this cash, Krabs. We're rich.
Not rich enough.
We got to take our show on the road.
Oh, no, a stomachache at the beach.
That's no fun. I wish it would go away.
Huh?
Your wish is granted. Hold out your hand.
Wow. What is this?
For fast relief of indigestion, try Gush and Flush,
and wash your pain down the drain.
And my stupid husband while you're at it.
[sighing]
[clamoring]
[screaming]
Thank you extra strength Gush and Flush.
[laughing] Look at you, so young and happy.
Where do the years go?
Hey, what's that? "Plan Your Own Party Kit"?
Hey, Lou, how much?
For the Plan Your Own Party kit?
Oh, we're having a special on those. Uh, they're free.
But you have to leave right now.
Let's see, Gary,
according to the "Plan Your Own Party Kit,"
invitations are the first order of business. - Meow.
"A short guest list consisting
of only your closest acquaintances will set
an intimate tone for the evening and provide soiree success."
Well, you heard the man, Gary, only our closest friends.
Well, how about this one?
[squeaking]
[popping]
Okay, how about this? Well?
Yeah, I don't think so.
Hey, guys, check this out, a Pet Point 3000.
A pet toy that plays with your pet.
What do you think, Gary?
Meh.
It's so... futuristic.
Look, a red dot! Come back here.
That's brilliant.
[gasping]
Open up, Gary, I'm still in my underwear.
Gary, I need to take a shower. Ow!
I did not need to see that. Ugh.
[tires screeching]
[music playing]
- Honey? - Huh?
You're not using that tan accelerator again, are you?
Oh, don't pretend you don't love it.
[sighing]
[humming]
Oh, no, my kelp garden is all wilted.
Don't worry, fellas.
I've got just the thing to perk you up, Kelp Grow.
Hold still.
[sniffing]
They're pretty.
[screaming]
[whistling]
It's here!
Whoa, Patrick, the official Goofy Goober Back Scratcher.
And it only cost me 52 box tops.
Wow.
Ooh. Mm-hmm. Whoa. Whoa! Whoo!
Oh, yeah, that's it.
Let me try.
[sighing]
Uh, Patrick, that's not the back scratcher.
That's my arm.
[clanking]
[flushing]
Phew. What a relief. For a second there, I thought
I gave myself a black... eye.
Ahoy, Captain, what have we here?
It's a tiny form letter.
"Dear sir or ma'am: We are sorry we missed you.
We will attempt to re-deliver your package
at our earliest convenience."
[doorbell ringing]
Hello.
[gasping] My package. Whoo hoo!
Well, let's see what we got here.
My official Mermaid Man
and Barnacle Boy Paddle Ball Set.
Whoo! Yeah! [grunting]
And besides, we have this.
What's that?
Oh. The Magic Conch Shell. Ask it something,
ask it something.
Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married?
Maybe someday.
[giggling]
He said that.
You got to be kidding. That is just a stupid toy.
How can that possibly help us?
[gasping] Squidward, we must never question
the wisdom of the Magic Conch.
The club always take its advice before we do anything.
[laughing]
[humming]
[screaming]
How dare you steal my dandruff!
I've been drying me scalp for centuries
in order to achieve the perfect dermatitis flakes.
Maybe some Skull and Shoulders would help?
[growling]
[screaming]
Chatterbox order line.
Hello, yes, could you please send me
one chatterbox snail collar?
Do you want regular, express,
or our fastest delivery option time warp?
Ooh, time warp, please!
Very well, your package was delivered last Thursday.
[gasping]
[meowing]
Oh, I wonder where this came from.
[humming]
Oh, here we go. Okay, Gary, speak to me!
Meooooo-ow?
Check, check.
One, two. Ah, that's more like it.
Hello, there, Papa Bob.
Papa Bob.
"How To Be Normal" Hmm. This videotape should help.
Are you tired of being called a freak?
Do people throw you out of their homes?
Well, do they?!
Yes, yes and yes.
Then join me as I take you on... a journey into normality.
Normality.
[panting]
Patrick, look, I got my- [gasping]
[laughing]
I'm sorry, Patrick.
It's just for a second I thought-
Hey, you got the same reef blower as me.
Tag, you're it.
[laughing]
Hi, ya, SpongeBob,
What is it, Patrick? Can't you see I'm sleeping here?
Well, I know you're going on that moon trip tomorrow,
and I just wanted to bring you something.
A present?
No. Uh, hey, SpongeBob, is Sandy's rocket alien proof?
There are no aliens, Patrick. Just ask Sandy.
Oh. I guess you won't be needing this alien repellent
for your trip.
Alien repellent? Let me see that.
"New alien out window protectant,
does not stop burglars."
Well, I guess you're right, Patrick.
We'd better go spray those windows.
Better check in here, too.
[music playing]
Aw, so puffy. Huh? Ooh. Midnight Pincer.
[yodeling]
[music playing]
It's a very romantically raving, Mrs. Puff.
[laughing]
What can I do?
I can't believe I'm saying this, but SpongeBob,
you're going to have to be the waiter.
What's that?
It's the guy who goes to tables and takes orders.
Do other restaurants do that?
Yes, they do that. Now, listen.
Squilliam is on his way, and you have less
than 20 minutes to become a fancy waiter,
so read this.
"How to Become a Fancy Waiter in Less Than 20 Minutes"
Don't worry, Squidward, I'll memorize every page,
right down to the punctuation marks.
All right, I've got all the positions filled.
I just might pull this off.
Kelp powder for muscle mass.
Raw eggs cause they're cliche, and nails for toughness.
[meowing]
Well, of course I expect you to eat this.
It's scientifically designed to help you win tomorrow.
Gary?
Wow. Pretty good time.
[clucking] Viola. Our first zoo animals.
[laughing]
Oh, oh! I get to name 'em!
Um, your name is Sauceman.
Your name is Laundry! And you're Debbie!
Aww, I forgot they're bubbles! [crying]
Don't be a dope. Try extra strength soap.
[squawking]
[grunting]
It works! It works!
[laughing] It works! It works!
[laughing]
[music playing]
[screeching]
Yow! Sweet mother of Aphrodite!
Please make it end!
Huh? Huh? How you enjoying the music so far?
It's delightful.
[music playing]
Bravo! Whoo hoo hoo hoo! [whistling, clapping]
I won't let Sandy down. I won't let Sandy down.
[grunting]
How the barnacles do you put this thing together?
I won't let Sandy down. I won't let Sandy down.
Morning, Captain. I won't let Sandy down.
I won't let Sandy down down. I won't let Sandy down.
Right after work I'm going straight over to Sandy's
who I'm not gonna let down.
Boy?!
Yes, sir?
I got a special assignment for ya.
This is a build-it-yourself telescope.
Only problem is,
I can't figure out how to put the darn thing together.
That's where you come in.
"Telescope Assembly Manual"
Now read this cover-to-cover, and be prepared
to put this thing together at me house tonight.
Tonight?
I hate to interrupt your reunion,
but I kind of need your help over here.
What do you need, SpongeBob?
Well, I'm a little stuck if you know what I mean.
Stuck? I can help with that. Okay. Mm.
There. There you go, buddy. Now you're stuck forever.
Gee, thanks, Patrick. Now I'm stuck... f-f-forever?
[grunting]
Hey! Hey you! Whimpy, whimpy, whimpy!
Ooh, I'm a little peanut worm!
Are you too much of a wimp to work out?
Are you a weakling, built like a sponge?
Well now you too can have muscles,
Huh?
with Anchor Arms! They slip on like a glove.
Just add air.
How big do you want 'em? Normal? Veiny?
And for the ladies, hairy.
[whistling]
I was once a wimp before Anchor Arms.
Now I'm a jerk and everybody loves me.
So order now, wimp!
Are you tired of playing with an old stick and a cup?
[both] Yeah.
Well, say goodbye to boring and hello to Whirly Brains,
the exciting new toy that puts you
in the driver's seat of your own mind.
It's so simple.
Just flip your lid, attach the propeller,
and watch your brain sore hundreds of feet into the air
as you control the action.
Get your Whirly Brain today and free your mind!