one of my favorite quotes is if nothing changes nothing changes what is up
everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but
focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about
mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube
community trying to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional
well-being so the end of that make sure you subscribe and bring that
notification pal and before I get started
quick announcement for all of my beautiful patreon out there or patrons
out there make sure you go check out the announcements cuz I just posted like a
January follow up saying I just want to make sure everybody's taken care of so
from your name in the credits at the end or if you have the $10 tear up that I
have your link down in the description or at the $30 tier my beautiful
girlfriend she draws a picture for you too also typical stuff just want to make
sure you're all taken care of so anyways some of you have asked me
about patreon and what's offered over there
just click on the link it's always down in the description or in the endcard
click over there you'll see what's offered at each tier and this week
exciting announcement I am starting the podcast and it kind of involves patreon
so you'll all see what that's about soon so anyways I wanted to do this topic
today about all Trisha Paytas and Jason Nash's relationship is in a lost cause
are they hopeless because I want to just kind of follow up because we looked at
one dynamic with Liza ko she and david dobrik where you know two people split
up or even take a break and one of the people works on themselves because they
need to and now we're looking at a different dynamic with Trisha Paytas and
Jason nash so a lot of you asked me about this and this is part of my
relationships playlist a lot of you asked me about different subjects so by
the way if you didn't know I have an entire playlist called the broken picker
relationship playlist check that out like 99% of your questions have been
answered in that playlist so go check it out but anyways when it comes to Jason
and Trisha you know obviously they have their ups their downs and all that and I
thought done plenty of videos about it but now
we're gonna talk about the aspect of two people who are in a relationship they
love each other they want things to work out how do you do that right and just
again for any of you who are new to my channel or don't understand what I do my
videos are not about Trisha and Jason I am just using them as a point of
reference because I know a lot of you can relate to this okay
so I've had a lot of questions about you know can this work out will this work
out and all that and I'm gonna share some of my experience not only with my
own relationships but just working with a lot of clients who have been in these
types of relationships or what I see works what I see doesn't work alright
now one of the reasons I'm making this video - is in one of my videos about
Tricia and Jason I asked you all a question I said have any of you spent
far too much time in a relationship waiting for a person to change and the
the comments the replies were they were surprising but not surprising because so
many of us do that like if you go look at the comments I'll actually put some
up on the screen right now where people like yeah I wasted five years eight
years I've seen people say I wasted ten years like I've seen so many people say
they wasted their time waiting for someone to change right and like here's
my thing here's my thing one of the reasons why I stayed single so long and
waited for you know the opportunity to meet someone as amazing as my girlfriend
Tristan was because you know six and a half years ago I almost died time is our
most precious asset right like we can never get it back so like after my you
know near-death experience because of my own drug addiction like I don't want to
waste time anymore I don't want to waste time in a relationship where I will
never get that time back so that's why I try to talk about this in different
videos but I'm gonna do a video at a different point about how Jason and
Trisha have actually helped a lot of people but here's a DM that I actually
got over on Instagram explaining how one of the videos actually helped them and I
don't I don't take any credit for this like I just want to give some of you
some clarity or maybe an hour ha moment so you can make your own decisions
but yeah there's a DM I got over on Instagram the other day and by the way
if you're not following me on instagram go follow me at the rewired soul I'm
trying to get to 10,000 followers so this DM says hey Chris I subscribe to
you recently and wanted to personally thank you for your latest video I just
got out of a four plus year relationship and I've been really struggling with
handling my first breakup yes I am part of the discord server no I have not
posted to seek support yet unfortunately my partner has always struggled with his
mental health and was as I found out dis honest with himself slashed me
throughout our entire relationship I encouraged him to try and get help
consistently but whenever he would he would have fun the therapist to be the
right fit and would give up watching her videos on a daily basis is really helped
in reinforcing the fact that even though we both still care about each other he
is in no place to be in a relationship right now
he needs to work on himself and I need some time to work on being my biggest
source of support again but anyway thank you so much again and I hope you're
doing well good luck with reaching 10,000 yeah thank you I appreciate that
help me reach 10,000 but yeah like that's why I make these videos like
you're you're already consuming this content and maybe there's something that
you can learn from it like that's my goal here that's what I'm doing here so
when it comes to Trisha and Jason basically what I want to talk about is
couples therapy versus individual therapy this is purely my opinion for
example like if you talk to my mom who's a professional psychologist and has a
lot more experience than I do she's been in the field for 20 years my mom is a
huge advocate for couples therapy and family therapy and all of that for me I
am a huge believer in individual therapy all right like something I always try to
teach each and every one of you is it's a lot easier for you to fix you than it
is to fix the rest of the world right so what I had to learn when working on
myself when working on my mental health was I need to it's not so much about how
everybody else is going to change because I have no control over that but
it's about how I deal with it how do I respond to situations like I
have no control over for example I have no control over the nasty comments that
I get down in my videos no control over that what I have a little control over
is how I respond to that so in my opinion in a situation like Trisha
Paytas and Jason they both need to do individual therapy alright like
sometimes people think that I'm giving Trisha a hard time and not so much Jason
like if I haven't made it clear they're both messes alright they both have
things that they need to work on like most of you have seen more of their
videos than I have and you know that they both have separate issues you know
from Trish's past and dealing with you know her father not being there and
things like that Jason's you know divorce and you know
Jason's issues with his family growing up and all those things these are things
that should be worked on on an individual basis because what we find
out through things like individual therapy is why do I report while I
respond in relationships the way I do why do I react the way I do why do i
overreact the way I do for example I'm gonna wake up in the
info card the the in-depth video my mom did over on her channel about
relationships right like one of the most fascinating statistics out there is like
there was a study they survey like thousands of couples thousands of
couples about the arguments and check this out like this is pure insanity and
I hope if you take nothing else away from this video you remember what I'm
about to tell you okay in all fights in all fights they found
that 90 percent 90 percent of the arguments were not based on what was
currently happening in that moment okay what does that mean what that means is
you're getting in an argument about something that happened a long time ago
you're getting an argument because of something that your mom or your dad did
to you you're getting in an argument because the way your ex hurts you right
so think about that for a second this is why individual therapy when you're
trying to work on a relationship is so important because you're snapping at
your partner for things that's something that somebody else did right your fear
of abandonment isn't because of your partner it's because of
you know you're one of your parents not being there or it's because of a breakup
you had that was you know so much romantic they up and left you right
these are the things that we can only work on in individual therapy we get
more personal time because in couples therapy like therapy is very limited
right you get like 50 minutes so when you go to couples therapy you are
sharing that time with the other person and since you and your partner don't
even know how to communicate having that time might be spent bickering in front
of the therapist and them trying to calm you two down but if both people are
Trisha and Jason in this case we're going to therapy on their own they could
talk to somebody right and get this unbiased outside point of view because
what you find in a lot of relationships is oh oh I'm right I'm right this is
this and sometimes like people are looking for someone to just agree with
their side like so many of our issues and relationships is we want to win
right we want to be the one who won that argument so when you're working with a
therapist who doesn't know you right they have no problem calling you out on
your crap if they're good at what they do
all right this is another reason why a therapist is better than going to your
friends or going to your family I'm not saying don't rely on your friends and
family for support but you got to understand that their opinions of you
might be somewhat biased here's a great example I was in my full-blown drug
addiction and alcoholism while I was still with my son's mom and I had a
bunch of friends where no matter what happened they would side with me I spent
all the money on drugs they would side with me right I was drunk at my son's
birthday party they would side with me hey you see what I mean so it's not
always good to have your friends and family members as the one that you're
relying on because they might just be enabling you when you're working with a
therapist on your own they might say listen why did you start that fight why
did you react the way that you do no I don't think it was justified that you
yelled at him about this no I don't think it was okay that you search
through his phone because you know 10 years ago your your ex-boyfriend cheated
on you you see what I mean these are things that you can work on in
individual therapy now now in my experience what I've seen is is when
both people work on themselves then coming together for something like
couples therapy then works alright because both of them have been
trained through different therapeutic processes to have like their own coping
skills their own communication skills to work on some things from their past and
now now they're like next level okay so looks like individual therapy is like
relationships 101 and then couples therapy is like relationships 102 is
that how college works Tristan sure okay cool we're on track I have some sick
analogies in case you didn't know alright so if you're somebody who is in
a relationship like quick quit trying to force your partner to go to therapy with
you or anything like that like start doing it on your on your own what a lot
of people get hung up on is they think that the relationship can't get better
until both people are doing it your relationship might get better just
because you are working on you now will it always work out no not always
you might go to therapy and realize that you are in a terrible relationship
that's a possibility as well but but if you're in one of these relationships
there is nothing holding you back from working on yourself alright but anyways
I would love to hear from you down in the comments below like I said I'm an
advocate for individual therapy someone like my mom is a big on like couples
therapy let me know down in the comments below like have you tried couples
therapy do you find individual therapy more beneficial do you get more clarity
whatever you've got less your experience is down below in the comments okay
anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this video please give it a
thumbs up if you knew make sure you subscribe and bring that notification
bell because I make a ton of video and a huge huge huge thank you to everybody
supporting the channel over on patreon you are all amazing a rubber go check
out the new post on patreon in case I don't have you all the credits list or
anything else let me know alright and if you want to check out patreon click the
top right there thanks so much for watching I'll see you next time