Richard's wondering why his wife doesn't want to have sex anymore so there are so many different
types of women out there and honestly one of the reasons that I stopped focusing on women's health
years ago was because I noticed that there are two different types there is one type and ladies you
may fall into this category get married have kids and decide you know I've had my kids I mean what
do I really need to continue having a bunch of sex for right and sometimes those ladies don't really
equate sex with their husband as a natural need so one thing that I really think that it's important
to say here is that for some people some men and some women sex is a need and when I say that it
is a need it is because sex makes them feel like themselves so they need it so if they don't have
it if you don't have it you don't feel like yourself the day drags on you know the boss or
the people at work or your own business they get on your nerves to a new level and you just don't
feel like yourself so unfortunately people who are stuck in relationships like that now they've got
to try to figure out other ways to feel sexually connected to themselves so they might cheat they
might be talking to other people on Instagram it might you know be seeking attention at church
or Home Depot or wherever it is because they're just not really getting it at home
so working with women who have taken that stance on it like I've had my kids I'm really not into
sex anymore it's really difficult but then there's the other side of it where women you know maybe
don't have anything against sex and haven't made that decision but have decided that they can give
or take you know leave it or take it it's just not really that important to them so I would love
to be able to be at these pre-marital counseling sessions where we get to the point where we tell
women and we tell men that sex is such an important part of a healthy relationship
in marriage that even when it's not working down there we've got to figure out a way to be intimate
otherwise somebody is feeling not just not desired but they're feeling less than a
person they're feeling less than the person that they felt like they were when they met you and
that's where the problem is so depending on where the lady is in this trajectory
16 years of being with somebody means that now the mystery surrounding the person is gone
you know what their breath smells like you know what it smells like when they go take a dump you
know their fears you know their weaknesses and so on and so forth so in a relationship that's
been there for 16 years and you're not having sex anymore one of the first things that you have to
do is bring the sexy back and bringing sexy back isn't necessarily like what can I wear to bring
the sexy back but bring the sexy back is what can I do to create some mystery in the relationship
and some excitement so you got to start there because now what we need to do is we need to help
the both of you change your perspective about your partner because your partner started out as being
the sexy mysterious person and now they're about as sexy as a a plasma screen TV when now all the
TVs are LED right it's just like not exciting anymore so first of all we need to find the
excitement so that we can raise the dopamine levels in both her brain in his brain towards
each other we've got to figure out a way to make you exciting to me again and me exciting to you
again that's first and foremost because no Viagra no lubricant or anything can create that so once
we can decide how can we make each other sexy to each other again now we got to reconnect sexually
because honestly what you liked back in the day has changed she might have liked nipple play but
now she feels like her nipples are sagging down and she really doesn't want you to see them or
touch them so now we have to figure out you have to evolve your sexual style to meet your partners
new desires so maybe this was your thing back in the day well maybe now it needs to be this
you know an upward motion with it so you've got to relearn What She Likes because sometimes your
partner is avoiding sex because they don't like it anymore they and they can't tell you
what you're not doing or what you're not doing right because they don't know how to say it so
sometimes you just need a little bit of hay what do you like sexually I mean things have changed
I don't really know every time we try to have sex it just doesn't work out right what types of
things do you like and she might be like I don't know what I like I'm not you know I really know
well then it's on her to figure out what she likes and so how do we figure out what we like
we explore our own bodies and we turn ourselves on to figure out how to tell you to turn
me on when it comes to trying to get your partner to want to engage a little bit more in sex first
of all we've got to get to the bottom of why I don't want to do it anymore is it because
they've got dryness down there or some type of issue down there or is it because maybe
something happened in the past you hurt their feelings and they haven't gotten over that is
it because they've just decided hey we've had kids we just don't need to do that anymore what is the
problem so get to the source of what the problem is and don't stop until she tells you or he tells
you what the problem is and once you know that problem now you can put together a plan as to
how to eradicate it because two if it gets to the point where they're like listen I don't like sex
I'm never gonna like it I don't want to have sex anymore so if you want that you're gonna have to
go somewhere else well now that's on the table now the elephant in the room has come out and said it
so once it's been said now we can deal with it and make a plan and for what that looks like