Use proper titles, know how far to bow, and whatever you do,
do not grab the sovereign’s butt. Here’s how to survive a run-in with a royal, celebrity style.
Until the 1970s, royals simply did not shake hands. Queen Elizabeth II relaxed these rules
sometime in the '70s and was seen shaking hands with many members of the public, including
celebrities she met, until her last days. Princess Anne, however, never joined the trend.
"We never shook hands. The theory was that you
couldn't shake hands with everybody, so don't start."
There are, of course, other members of the royal family, including the king's sons and their wives,
who regularly greet the public with a handshake. The rules of protocol, however,
state that it is the royal who should make the first contact. According to Grant Harrold,
royal expert and director of the Royal School of Etiquette:
"If you are a member of the public meeting a member of the royal family,
you should never offer your hand to shake — wait for them to initiate the handshake."
Dr. Kate Williams, a historian at London's Royal Holloway university,
told the BBC that these rules stem from medieval times, when the monarch was
viewed as divine and needed to be set apart by actual physical distance.
While most celebrities are prepped for the protocol of meeting a royal,
they sometimes have trouble remembering the rules. Michelle Obama reflected on
the first time she met Queen Elizabeth in 2009 in her memoir, "Becoming," writing:
"I then did what's instinctive to me anytime I feel connected to a new person,
which is to express my feelings outwardly. I laid a hand affectionately across her shoulder."
"That moment has always meant so much to me."
The queen didn't seem to mind, though,
and Obama claims they enjoyed a friendly relationship over the years.
Even so, guidelines around touching a royal are pretty strict. Grant Harrold explained to Insider:
"A royal handshake should consist of two-to-three pumps, with your palms open and thumbs down."
Enter Ed Sheeran, who forgot the rules he'd been given and reached for then-Prince Charles' arm
during his moment with the royal. He posted a picture of his faux pas on Instagram,
which was liked by Charles' account, so the king likely wasn't offended.
Miles Teller faced a similar concern when he met Prince William and Princess Catherine at
the "Top Gun: Maverick" premiere. He shared the details of his protocol slip-up with Jimmy Fallon.
"I think right off the bat I messed up. You're not supposed
to extend your hand right off the bat unless they do. But I felt a vibe."
Royal etiquette expert Grant Harrold told Insider:
"Technically speaking, you're not supposed to engage in conversation,
or call out to them. Royals are supposed to begin the conversation. You'll notice
they start it, so they can be in control of the time."
Actor Allison Janney must not have gotten that memo. She told James Corden after her
visit to the BAFTAs in 2018 that she had removed her heels already when
she met Prince William and Princess Catherine, who was pregnant at the
time. She called Catherine "honey" and suggested she take her heels off, too.
"And that might have not been royal etiquette, protocol."
"I don't know that that's the protocol, yeah."
While it most definitely wasn't, Janney reported that the royals responded with kindness.
Shawn Mendes knew the rule and stuck to it, no matter how awkward it felt.
During a performance for Queen Elizabeth's 92nd birthday in 2018, Mendes was waiting
to go onstage when the queen walked up and stood next to him. He told Ellen DeGeneres:
"You're not allowed to speak to her unless she speaks to you first. So it was like this
10 minutes of very awkward silence between me and the queen. She didn't look at me at all. I looked
over a couple of times and I was like, 'I probably shouldn't even be looking.' It was super weird."
Margot would have done well to follow the "no speaking" protocol. She told Jimmy
Fallon that she once unknowingly ran into Prince Harry at a party.
"Actually, when I saw him in those glasses I was like, 'Oh, my God,
I didn't know Ed Sheeran was at the party.' And he got really offended."
Signing autographs is a breach of royal protocol for actual security reasons.
Any time a royal signature is written and shared, there is a risk of it being forged.
The Express reported that King Charles responds to requests for autographs with:
"Sorry, they don't allow me to do that."
Not even celebrities are allowed to ask for the autograph of a royal.
On occasion, though, the royals will break with protocol,
almost certainly at the request of a child. Express reported that Prince Harry once signed
the cast of a 17-year-old Air Training Corps cadet with "Get well soon! Harry."
His wife, Meghan, found a way around the rule when she wrote a short,
unsigned message to a 10-year old girl that simply read, "Hi Kaitlin." Even King Charles
broke the "no signature" rule when he was still a prince in 2010. The Telegraph reported when he
visited the victims of the Cornwall floods, one couple asked for his autograph for their
young son. Much to his security detail's chagrin, Charles asked for paper and wrote "Charles 2010."
Celebrities are briefed on royal protocol before they meet a member of the royal
family. Before he met Prince William and Princess Catherine at the London premiere of "Top Gun:
Maverick" in 2022, Jon Hamm told Jimmy Fallon he was given guidelines.
"There are some uh, guidelines, that are not so much guidelines,
but hard and fast rules that you are made to follow when you meet the royalty."
Later, Hamm told Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest:
"It's a little anxiety-producing because they give you these sort of rules that
you're meant to sort of follow. You're meant to say, 'Your Royal Highness.'"
"If they offer their name, then you can use their name, but you can't do it first. And you can't
offer your hand, they have to offer their hand. Then you have to bow, but you can't bow too low."
Actress Emilia Clarke admitted to Seth Meyers that she was so nervous
to meet Prince William she began to stutter.
"And for whatever reason, probably 'cause I was so scared, I couldn't manage to get out
'your royal highness.' And it was kind of like a, 'Your Royaaaaa.'"
Typically at events, a royal is the last to arrive and the
first to leave. But if a celebrity is meeting a royal at a more informal event,
the rules may differ. According to royal historian Marlene Koenig:
"A true order of precedence really only takes shape at state and diplomatic events."
Since celebrities don't often attend diplomatic events,
they may not be limited by the "entrance protocol."
It's generally understood that, along with the no autograph policy, the royals hold to a "no-selfie"
policy. Anyone who has watched them work their way through a crowd, however, understands it's a
loosely held policy at best. In fact, it probably stems more from per–sonal conviction than actual
protocol. United States ambassador Matthew Barzun told The Telegraph that Queen Elizabeth
found it odd to look out at a crowd only to see cell phones staring back at her. He divulged:
"She was essentially saying: 'I miss eye contact.'"
Additionally, The Telegraph reported that Prin-ce Harry once told a young fan:
"No, I hate selfies. Seriously,
you need to get out of it. I know you're young, but selfies are bad."
He did offer to pose for a normal photo instead.
And while it seems like celebrities would be immune to the need for a selfie, they're just
as susceptible to the desire for them. Serena Williams told People about the time she asked
for a selfie with Princess Catherine and was so bold as to choose the video filter on Snapchat.
Selfies aren't just for Will and Kate,
either. E! News reported that Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher let an Uber driver take
a selfie of them with Princess Beatrice and her then-boyfriend Dave Clark in 2015.
During Queen Elizabeth's reign, she was rarely seen without her purse,
though she didn't need keys and legally wasn't required to have a driver's license.
So why did she need a purse? She used it as a mode of silent communication
with her staff and with guests. Royal historian Hugo Vickers told People:
"It would be very worrying if you were talking to the Queen and saw
the handbag move from one hand to the other."
She was signaling she'd like to be interrupted and
allowed to move on from the person she was speaking to. No celebrity
has ever confessed to being dismissed by Her Majesty's Handbag, of course.
The purse serves yet another useful purpose for royals. Royal etiquette expert Myka Meier told
Cosmopolitan that royals must always carry it in their left hand so their right hand
is free to shake hands... if they choose. Of course, if they aren't in a hand-shaking mood,
they are always welcome to move the purse to their right hand. Who would know?
As celebrities are often in public in dresses or formalwear without adequate pockets,
they surely must envy the royals' handbags that double as their security detail.
No matter how prepared they are, even celebrities lose their heads around
royalty. When One Direction met Princess Catherine several years ago, Harry Styles
told Hello! Magazine that he was nervous. Referring to her second pregnancy, he admitted:
"I said congratulations on the bump. She didn't look bumpy."
Grammy-winner Sam Smith was so nervous when he met his crush Prince Harry that he bowed extra low.
"I thought when you bow… I really bowed,
I was at a right angle. He was like, 'Why are you bowing that low?'" I was like...
Dame Emma Thompson had no cause to be nervous during her investiture ceremony,
as she's known King Charles and his sons for years. But when Prince William
pinned her badges on her chest, Emma told Ellen DeGeneres that she made a, quote,
"loud and very inappropriate noise in Buckingham Palace."
Fortunately, the two friends shared a snicker about it and Prince William even
kept her from breaking protocol further by warning her off when she asked to kiss him.
Perhaps the gravest breach in protocol that a celebrity will admit to was when Spice Girl
Geri Halliwell patted King Charles on his bottom in 1997. She admitted to The Times:
"Patting him on the bottom was against royal protocol but we're all human."
Fortunately, the pat was merely a pat and not the alleged pinch that
was first reported. That might have been a bridge too far, even for a celebrity.