Welcome back to New Day Northwest on location
at the Fabulous Fairmont Olympic Hotel.
You know the George Restaurant
would be a great place to take
your friends out for dinner.
But Speaking of friends,
you know as we get older,
sometimes friendships are
really hard to maintain.
I recently talked with authors
Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston,
who created their own how to guide on
how to build deep authentic friendships.
The book is called I'll be there,
but I'll be wearing sweatpants.
Tell us exactly what are sweatpants? France.
I think uh, sweatpants friend is gonna be
someone who accepts you exactly as you are.
So when you're without,
you know money or you've changed jobs or
your without any kind of anything impressive.
They still love you because they
accept you exactly as you are.
They're going to come in your house,
raid your fridge. No big thing.
I think it's taking
the filters off and not having to
pretend anymore around each other
and allowing ourselves to be seen
and loved as we are, and vice versa.
Yeah, and it's just so important,
especially in a social media world
where it's tempting to want to put out
this perfect picture of ourselves,
but we actually need the unfiltered
version to make close friends.
I was
just talking to a colleague and friend of
mine in the makeup room the other day.
Kim Holcomb and I were just chatting about
how it's harder as you get older like
we have this preconceived notion that
we should all have these big girlfriend
groups and we should be going on girls
trips with all these girlfriends.
But we're both like, hey,
we moved around the country.
We have our friends around the
country and it's.
Harder to make friends as an adult?
Isn't that right? Yes, time
your priority shift your time.
Definitely get gets crunched.
I mean it's busy being an adult.
There's bills and jobs and appointments
and there's so much to do,
so it definitely shifts.
And we have this mindset of friendship
is going to look picture perfect,
but it's not.
It's not picture perfect,
it's messy and you really want to go
for quality over quantity every time.
So it's not about these big giant groups.
It's not about.
These giant girls trips that are really
flashy and fun to put on Instagram.
It's about those small moments that you
spend with each other and investing
in in your time with just a few.
Those are really what matter the
most like those coffee dates.
Those nights in your sweatpants.
Just hanging out.
Those build a friendship.
Those truly are what build a friendship.
I
could not agree with that more.
It's funny because I realized that
through the pandemic that I was always
on the phone with people all the
time and I was just filling up time.
I wasn't taking the time to
be with myself or to call the
friends who know me the most,
so I think that that's really important
because fake friends can really,
they can damage our lives right?
Absolutely, and I think it's
really important that we notice
where we're putting our time,
because any close friendship needs a lot of
investment to grow and to really flourish.
So I know for me I have to take
a step back and be like, OK,
where am I investing my time?
And am I investing time into
my closest friendships and not
just the people who need me or?
That are the most accessible or whatever,
but the time being intentional with it.
Yeah, you know, it's interesting
because we've been talking about
pandemic and friendships and also
some friendships that have been
made online during the pandemic.
My one friend, Lindsay.
I have never met her before.
We've only met during zoom and it
was hard to go from that to life IRL.
Like in real life.
So any advice for kind of transferring
those great friendships that we've
started maybe online or distance and.
And making them real.
Yeah, I mean that's Jess and I that is.
That is our friendship too.
Is it started online? It started.
Yeah like it started on with Instagram
messages between the two of us.
So we live hat like we're across
the country from each other.
So it started with a just a conversation on
Instagram and then it just kind of grew.
And it was one where just like just
said where you're putting in time.
So we put time into those Instagram
messages and then eventually it made
more sense for us to talk on the phone.
So we talked on the phone and it is
awkward to always ask that question.
Like hey, can I get your phone number?
Natural thing, but somebody's gonna have
to make the first move and help people
like can you be brave for 10 seconds?
I feel like when we think of bravery
we think about doing something massive.
Writing a book, starting a new business,
but sometimes the bravest moments
are these little small things.
Can I initiate a conversation?
Can I invite someone into my home?
Can I ask somebody if we can, you know,
talk on the phone? Can can I do that?
So 10 seconds of bravery.
Just do it.
I would. I just totally agree.
I think even whether it's
online, whether it's in real life,
it's again taking the filters off slowly,
you know, testing the water. Like can
you handle me like I am or not? You know,
don't wanna jump Foley and right away,
but you know, feel it out and
then honestly, it's because we
started to talk on the phone and
have these real conversations about
our real lives and our real hearts
and our what we're dealing with
that really bonded us together.
And then when we did meet in real life.
It was so. It was a real.
It was a little funny, you know, 'cause.
We've only been talking online,
but it was so natural to be together.