So how does it look?
You owe a lot of money. Don't have a lot of
money.
Mum, I can see that.
Who did these?
Why is it that bad?
They're impeccable.
No.
Actually, it was my son.
Well, why don't you just use him for the
audit?
He's 11.
An 11 year old did these.
Actually, he might have been nine at the
time. I'm not good with birthdays.
Okay. Hello.
Playing with your train.
I'm punishing myself by looking at them, but
not allowing myself to run them.
You don't have to punish yourself.
Because you'd rather do it.
That's fair.
No.
It's okay, I deserve it.
Actually, I want you to represent us at the
audit.
But I messed everything up.
You did? But I also know if anyone's smart
enough to get us out of this. You are.
Why did you change your mind?
No reason.
What did the accountant say?
Nothing. They said my returns were perfect,
didn't they?
Play with your trains.
Why are you reading the Bible?
I felt bad about last night, so I thought it
might be good for me.
Where are you going with this?
Nowhere.
I just want to make you happy.
And the man increased exceedingly and had
much cattle and maid servants and men's
servants and camels and asses.
Okay.
Stop. What? I'm just reading from Genesis.
Well.
Cut it out.
Fine. Let's try Exodus.
And on the seventh day, thou shalt rest.
That thine ox and thine ass may rest.
That is it. You are grounded.
For reading the Bible.
The way you are doing it.
Yes. Go to your room.
Okay.
I don't have a donkey.
But if I did, I'd take my ass out of here.
Hello, I'm George Cooper.
This is my son, Sheldon.
Yes, we spoke on the phone.
You look exactly like you sound.
Not everybody does.
Shall we get started?
Yes.
I realize some people may find the ins and
outs of tax law a little tedious.
So allow me to spice this story up instead
of an audit. Imagine this is a showdown
between two warriors in the most brutal and
exciting form of combat there is.
Chess. Am I the only one who just got
chills?
Let's start with business deductions from
schedule A on the tax return dated 1989.
I know, bold opening move.
Don't worry. I came to play.
Happy to. I've got those receipts right here.
Dated, highlighted and itemized.
Told you. For the next.
Three hours, we battled it out.
Two mighty brains locked in mortal tax code
combat.
Justify this expense.
Was less than $50,000.
Improper classification rolled over from the
previous fiscal year.
The receipt has barbecue sauce on it.
Dad. Sorry.
So you are remarkably well versed in the tax
code. Thank you.
It's nice of you to do your parents returns
for free every year.
Oh, I. Don't do it for free. My dad buys me a model
train afterwards.
Interesting. So you accept payment even
though you're not a licensed tax
professional. In clear violation of federal
law. Check.
I had walked right into his trap.
Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.
So get your Cowboys game last.
No. Yeah.