-Donald Trump was back in a New York courtroom today
for the civil fraud trial
that could wipe out his business empire,
less than a day after his struggling rivals
for the GOP nomination gathered for a mostly meaningless debate
in which they attacked each other.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪
Last night, the non-Trump Republican candidates
gathered for yet another pointless debate
on a little-watched network called NewsNation,
where they all pretended they were running for president,
despite the fact that they're roughly
50 points behind the frontrunner.
Watching these people debate without Trump
is like watching the Jets play each other.
Now, in fairness, I shouldn't be so glib.
I may disagree with these people,
but they've stepped up to take
on the responsibility of leadership.
And who knows, maybe there's a chance
they'll beat Trump and become the nominee.
So I do think we should at least listen to what they have to say.
-Welcome to the fourth and final --
-Just kidding. No one gives a [bleep].
Why should I -- Why should I act like any of
these people are actually running against Donald Trump,
when they won't even act
like they're running against Donald Trump?
They spent the whole debate fighting with each other
like pigeons fighting over a French fry
in the parking lot of a restaurant
that is owned by a much bigger pigeon.
[ Laughter ]
In case you missed it -- Sorry.
Because you missed it,
here's a quick recap of all these dweebs
taking shots at each other.
-She will cave to the donors.
She will not stand up for you.
-He's mad because those Wall Street donors
used to support him, and now they support me.
In terms of these donors
that are supporting me, they're just jealous.
They wish that they were supporting them.
That is not true. -I rejected them,
so I have a record of standing up and do what's right.
And here's the thing. -You have a record of lying.
-That's no reasonable -- -That's not my deal.
-Yes, it's exactly what you said.
-[ Indistinct ] -You do this at every debate.
You say -- No, no, don't interrupt me.
I didn't interrupt you. -Hold on.
-Excuse me, Chris, I'm speaking and I'm not done yet.
You had your chance, and we're going to be done.
I think that that's what people need to know.
Nikki is corrupt.
-This is the fourth debate --
the fourth debate that you would be voted in the first 20 minutes
as the most obnoxious blowhard in America.
-Hey, hey, everyone! Break it up.
There's no need to fight! You're all obnoxious blowhards.
And yet, based on the polls, your problem
is you don't blow hard enough.
Although, I will say, if there's one service
anyone could perform at these stupid debates,
it's tearing Vivek Ramaswamy to shreds.
I mean, allow me to borrow the parlance
of my outer borough brethren, when I say
this [bleep] guy!
Now, if you somehow managed to find NewsNation on your TV
guide somewhere up there between the pay-per-view curling channel
and those channels that are just music...
Who are those for? [ Laughter ]
Can we do a "Closer Look" on that one day?
"Hey, you want to hear some tunes?
I'll put it on channel 985 on the TV.
I have it in HD."
Why does that matter? [ Laughter ]
Anyway,
if you actually tuned into the second-place debate,
you were probably frustrated by the fact
that none of the candidates, except for Christie,
bothered to go after Trump at all,
who is leading them by a huge margin.
At one point, both the moderators and Christie
repeatedly gave Florida Governor Ron DeSantis a clear opening
to say the obvious, that Trump is unfit to serve as president,
and DeSantis wouldn't even say that.
-You seem to be saying Donald Trump
is no longer mentally fit to be president.
Is that what you think?
-Look, he is showing Father Time is undefeated.
He got the nomination. -But do you think
he's mentally fit to be president?
-I think we need to have somebody younger.
-Why doesn't he just answer the question?
The question was very direct.
Is he fit to be president or isn't he?
Is he fit or isn't he? -We do not want to do --
You're talking about him being 80 years old.
Ron, is he fit? -[ Indistinct ]
-Governor, DeSantis -- -Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron,
is he fit or isn't he?
-[ Indistinct ] -So, you do think he's fit?
You do think? -You should not
nominate somebody... -He won't answer.
-...who's almost 80 years old.
-He's afraid to answer. -No, I'm not.
-My God, how hard is it to say Donald Trump is unfit?
He's mentally unfit. He's physically unfit.
He's politically unfit. Even his clothes are unfit.
He's facing four indictments, fomented a violent coup attempt,
forgets which city he's in, who he's running against,
thinks windmills cause cancer,
and once said there were airports
during the Revolutionary War,
because everyone remembers that famous painting
of George Washington taxiing across the runway.
Although, in fairness, if you've ever flown out of LaGuardia,
you'd think it was built in the 1700s, too.
[ Laughter ]
You know what's a bummer?
Joke isn't true anymore,
'cause they redid LaGuardia
and it's so nice now.
[ Laughter ]
It's so -- It's the only New York airport I use anymore,
and I don't even use it as an airport.
[ Laughter ]
Once a week my wife and I go for date night.
We have a nice meal,
let TSA get a little frisky with us,
then we just go home.
[ Laughter ]
[bleep] love LaGuardia.
[ Laughter ]
It's no kind of life.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh, right. Christie and DeSantis.
Watching these two argue with each other
is like watching Master Shake
yell at Meatwad on "Aqua Teen Hunger Force."
And if you're wondering who's who,
allow me to remind you that Donald Trump
is the one who coined the term "Meatball Ron,"
a nickname so perfect it stuck
even though Trump doesn't actually use it.
You almost feel for DeSantis.
He thought this was his time -- darling of the right,
governor of the third most populous state,
built a huge reserve of campaign donations.
And then one day an adviser comes in and says, "Bad news.
Trump called you Meatball Ron."
And DeSantis said, "So what? It's not going to stick, is it?"
Turned to his wife, said,
"Do you think it'll stick, Casey?"
And she said, "I don't think you have anything to worry about,
Meatball Ron -- I mean Ron! [ Laughter ]
I'm gonna take the kids home.
Say bye to Meatball Dad -- I mean Dad!"
So no one in the GOP actually wants to take
on the front runner, despite his obvious weaknesses.
Just this morning, he was back in court
for the $250 million civil fraud trial
that could decimate his business empire and his personal fortune.
He was once again sitting at the defense table,
scowling in front of a computer screen like a teen at the DMV,
forced to watch a video about the dangers of drunk driving.
Before entering the courtroom, he did his usual shtick where
he called the trial a witch hunt and all that nonsense.
But he also claimed today's testimony would vindicate him
and that the banks actually think he's innocent as well.
-So we're going in now. We have an expert witness,
one of the great experts in the country.
And I hope you'll all be able to listen to him.
But it'll just be another day.
If you look at -- If you look at the case, we did nothing wrong.
There were no victims. The bank loves us.
The bank testified. They love us.
We did absolutely nothing wrong. We never even defaulted.
We never had a default letter sent to us.
The bank said we were a perfect customer.
-In what context would a bank
even call you a perfect customer?
[ As Trump ] "You know, I was at the bank once
and an ATM came up to me -- big ATM, strong ATM --
tears pouring down its screen onto its disgusting keypad,
and it said to me, it said, 'Sir,
you're a perfect customer.'
And I said, I said, 'Thank you, ATM machine,'
and it said, 'The M stands for machine.
You don't need to say it twice.'
And I said, 'You're wrong.
The M stands for Meatball Ron.'"
[ Laughter ]
Trump's court appearance comes two days after he once again
sent shockwaves of anxiety throughout the political world
by claiming he would be a dictator
if he wins a second time, but only on day one.
That answer came in response to persistent questioning
by Fox host Sean Hannity, who was trying to get Trump
to refute reports that he and his allies
are drawing up plans to use the Justice Department
to get revenge on his critics.
But Trump refused to follow Hannity's lead.
-To be clear, do you in any way have any plans whatsoever
if reelected president to abuse power,
to break the law, to use the government to go after people?
-You mean like they're using right now?
-Under no circumstances you are promising America tonight
you would never abuse power as retribution
against anybody. -Except for day one.
-Except for -- -Look. He's going crazy.
Except for day one. -Meaning?
-I want to close the border and I want to drill, drill, drill.
-That's not retribution.
I got it. -I'm going to be --
I'm going to be -- You know, he keeps...
I love this guy.
He says, "You're not going to be a dictator, are you?"
I said, "No, no, no. Other than day one."
-I will say, I love how much Trump
enjoys making Hannity miserable.
Hannity was clearly trying to help Trump out,
and Trump laughed in his face
like he was Joe Pesci about to whack him.
[ As Pesci ] "This guy! I love this guy! He's a funny guy.
Hey, let's take a ride out to the woods together.
Get in my car."
Whenever Hannity interviews Trump,
there's this weird dynamic where Hannity, the interviewer,
is desperately trying not to make news,
and Trump, the candidate, is like,
"Sean, this is boring as [bleep].
I'm going to make some news."
And now Trump's allies are mad,
not that Trump said he'd be a dictator,
but that Hannity asked him the question in the first place.
Here's Trump's ally and fellow criminals, Steve Bannon,
who was himself charged with fraud before Trump pardoned him
and has been convicted of contempt of Congress charges,
tearing into Hannity on his weird Internet show.
-Sean Hannity actually thought he was helping Trump last night.
Let me ask you the question. Will you be a dictator?
Trump gives a full heckle.
And here's what I love. The audience gets it.
They're laughing.
By the way, Sean, they're laughing at you.
They're laughing at the stupid, ridiculous question.
Of course, Trump's not a dictator.
It's absurd on the face of even to consider.
Even to ask that question that "Morning Joe"
and those guys can cut the clips on shows
you're an idiot.
And we don't have time for idiots, bro.
This is a -- This is a war. How dumb are you?
We're playing for keeps. This is war.
And you're just not good enough
and you're just not smart enough.
-I love how Bannon can both say it's crazy
to use words like dictator
while also hammering home, "We're at war...bro."
And I do believe Bannon thinks we're in a war
because he always looks like he's been living in a bunker
or, I don't know, the inside of a dryer.
I love watching all these horrible people
fight with each other.
Christie calling Vivek obnoxious,
Trump calling DeSantis a meatball,
Bannon calling Hannity idiot.
Nobody calling Trump anything lest he eat them
like a French fry.
It's such a striking contrast with the other side.
Say what you will about Democrats,
but there was never any name calling at their debates.
The most aggressive thing that ever happened
at a Democratic debate was Bernie shooting his hand up
in the air to answer a question like
he was trying to hail a cab in a rainstorm.
[ As Sanders ] "99% of the taxis
have a go at the 1% of the passengers!"
[ Laughter ]
The far and away GOP front runner
confessed he'll be a dictator, was in court today for a fraud
trial, and faces four more criminal indictments.
And yet none of his GOP rivals want to take him on.
I would spend more time recapping the debate,
but this show is only an hour long and...
-We don't have time for idiots, bro.
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
Hey, a quick message for our Canadian viewers.
This is very exciting news.
Our videos were not available on YouTube for the last few months.
They are now back on YouTube,
and we also want to say thanks to CTV
who is airing our shows in their entirety on their network.
Check them out there as well.
Thank you, Canada.
Good luck with everything.