-Last time we talked,
and I think it finally actually happened.
-It did. -It did.
-Yeah. -You had Rihanna on the show.
-I did. -Wow!
-Yeah. -What was it like?
-It was the dream, yeah. It was beyond my wildest dreams.
We went day drinking, which is something we do on the show.
[ Laughter ]
-I can't believe she said yes to that.
-I know! [ Laughter ]
Why would you say yes to that? -Why would you say yes to that?
-But it was amazing. People say,
"What's it like drinking with Rihanna?"
You know, like, there's some people, like,
the more you drink over the course of the night,
the more they start looking like Rihanna?
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Like, imagine starting there. -Wow!
[ Laughter ] Wow.
-You know what I mean? -Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
Must be amazing. -But she was so much fun.
And she's the nicest person in the world, and it was --
it was a blast. -But what do you do after a --
Like, when does day drinking end for you?
-So, it ends -- unfortunately, because, it's day drinking,
it ends in the afternoon, and then I go home
to a wife and children. [ Laughter ]
And it's never ended where we haven't had some --
like, where I've gotten a little snitty with my wife.
Because, like, I'll come home and knock over a lamp,
and she'll roll her eyes, as you would,
when your husband comes home at 4:30 super trashed.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-And she'll just go, "Ugh!"
And then I'll say, "It's for work!"
[ Laughter ]
"I was -- I was working with Rihanna!"
-"This is for work! I put food on the table."
-"I drank to pay for that lamp!"
[ Laughter ]
-Makes no sense.
I have a picture your wife sent to us.
-Yeah. -She wanted to show us
what you look like after day drinking.
-Yeah. That's me in the --
-This is you in the hallway.
[ Laughter and applause ]
You took a nap?
-I took a full nap in the hallway.
That's my -- -You took a nap in your hallway.
-That is the most -- My mother-in-law took that.
And, also, this is the most mother-in-law thing.
She put a water down next to me.
[ Laughter ]
-"Stay hydrated." -Yeah, stay hydrated.
-But you told me there's one thing --
'Cause I said, "Is she just perfect?
Is Rihanna just awesome?" -Yeah.
-Like, "Yes, she's everything, perfect."
I said, "Is there one thing that she doesn't do well?"
And you go, "There might be one thing."
-Yeah, she, at one point, took my phone
and took a bunch of pictures while we were day drinking.
And then, when I went through them and looked at them,
I'm like, "Rihanna's bad at taking pictures."
[ Laughter ]
-See, I disagree. I think this is a great picture.
-I think that's not a good picture.
-I would -- [ Laughter ]
-I think that's poorly framed.
-I would post that on Instagram. -I think that's got a bad --
And I don't think -- Well, that's a good one.
This is a good picture of us. It is.
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah. -That's a memory right there.
-Yeah, that's -- I think that's actually called
the Rihanna filter. -Yeah, it is, yeah.
[ Laughter ] Is that really?
-Yeah, they just put Rihanna in a picture,
and then you look happy. -She's not even there.
Yeah. Are you guys, like, buddies now?
Do you have each other's -- -No.
[ Laughter ] I mean, I think highly of her.
I think we're friendly, like, and whatnot.
-You don't have her cellphone number?
-I wouldn't want it. -No.
-I think it would be, like, too dangerous to have.
[ Laughter ] Like, you know what I mean?
Like, I would like spend all day thinking, like,
"What's a funny thing to text Rihanna?"
I think that -- [ Laughter ]
-Yeah, it would just be too much.
You already have a job. -Yeah, I already have a job.
I feel like certain things -- like, I shouldn't have
Rihanna's phone number in the same way
Trump shouldn't have nuclear codes.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Someone near us can have them. -Someone near us can have them,
but you shouldn't have them. -No, no, no.
-Speaking of Trump, the impeachment hearings
are going on all this week. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Any surprises? What do you have to expect?
-I mean, it's -- I mean, it's weird because
we kind of know what everybody's gonna say,
but it's still fascinating to watch the words
come out of their mouths as opposed to, you know,
reading, you know, what they said in closed testimony.
But, you know, I've gotten so bad --
I know now that I can't predict anything.
I've been wrong about everything for so long.
-Really? -So you just kind of, like,
just, like, you know, buckle in and watch the ride.
-With this administration?
-Yeah, just with the news these days.
Like, nothing -- it feels like --
-How? Like, "This is happening."
-Yeah. -"Okay, we're doing this now.
All right." -And, I mean, the testimony
is fascinating, 'cause, you know, one side asks questions,
and people say things, and you go, "Oh, that's bad,"
and then you watch the other side being like,
"But, I mean, was it that bad?"
And you're like, "Yeah, no, it was."
[ Laughter ]
But that's like their only defense right now.
It's like, "But, seriously, there's worse things, right?"
And you're like, "I don't know.
I guess so, but I don't know what it is."
-"Why are we --" Yeah, it's unbelievable.
-Yeah. -Do you have news on
in your house, like, around your wife and kids?
-My kids are total news junkies. 3 and 1.
-They really are? -Yeah.
The problem is one of them -- The 3-year-old loves MSNBC...
[ Laughter ] ...1-year-old loves Fox News.
-Fox News. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -Oh, that's tough.
That's tough. -They're cartoonier,
so he likes that. Yeah.
-They're different humans. -They're just different people,
so we have to get them different TV.
-But the baby -- So, 3 already?
-3 1/2 and 1 1/2, yeah. -Oh, my gosh.
-It's really fun. They're just --
They're good dudes, and they like hanging out together.
-Yeah. -The other -- we have these --
They have a pair of noise-canceling headphones
for babies. -Yeah.
-And the 3-year-old likes to wear them
'cause he likes to pretend he's a helicopter pilot.
And the 1-year-old likes to wear them
just to wear them and walk around.
But they're noise-canceling, so you can't hear.
So the other day, the 3-year-old said,
"I want those." And I was like,
"You have to ask your brother if you can have them."
So he walks over to the 1-year-old, and he says,
"Can I have those?" But they're noise-canceling.
So they just look at each other for 10 seconds.
[ Laughter ]
And then, the 3-year-old looks at me and goes,
"He said yes." [ Laughter ]
-Thataboy! -There you go!
-Thataboy right there! -Punch line!
-That's a smart kid.