>> James: LET'S MEET OUR NEXT GUEST.
HE'S THE HYSTERICAL STAR FROM SHOWS LIKE "CRASHING," "THE PETE
HOLMES SHOW" AND SO MUCH MORE, THE ALWAYS FUN, PETE HOLMES.
♪ >> James: PETE, HOW ARE YOU,
HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> SO NICE O TO SEE YOU.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE BOTH-- THIS FEELS LUKE WE DON'T LIKE EACH
OTHER.
>> James: WELL, THAT ISN'T TRUE, THAT ISN'T TRUE IN ANYWAY.
WE LOVE IT WHEN YOU ARE HERE, THIS IS ACTUALLY YOUR FIRST TIME
HERE AS A SOLO GUEST, BECAUSE NORMALLY WE HAVE ALL OF THE
GUESTS AT THE SAME TIME.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN OUR NEW SET.
WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THE CHANGES?
>> IT'S LOVELY, I'M MOSTLY LOOKING AT THE CHANGES IN THE
STAFF, IAN,.
>> James: ST HARD FOR KARMEL.
>> HALF, HALF A KARMEL AND MY OLD PRODUCER NICK LINSKY, LOOKS
SHIP WRECKED.
>> James: DID YOU EVER IMAGINE A TIME YOU WOULD COME ON A LATE
NIGHT TALK SHOW AND YOUR OLD PRODUCER NICK WOULD BE MICKED
WITH HIS OWN LOCKED OFF CAMERA.
>> NO, NOPE, NEVER REALLY SAW IT HAPPENING BUT HERE IT IS.
>> NEITHER DID I.
>> IF YOU TUSSLE HIS HAIR, SAND WOULD FALL OUT.
>> James: HE HAS GOT THAT, A BIT LIKE WHEN TOMORROW HANKS
COMES BACK ON THE PLANE.
>> YES.
>> James: WAITING TO MEET HIS WIFE, THAT IS WHAT NICK HAS GONE
FOR.
>> HE WILL WRITE A MESSAGE ON THE BACK OF HIS MASK, ROLL IT UP
AND PUT IT IN A BOTTLE AND SEE WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, TO SEE
IF HE CAN GET HELP.
>> I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR BOTH OF YOU.
>> OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.
I CONDITION BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T EATEN THOSE YET.
>> BECAUSE HE'S SHIP WRECKED.
>> I LIKE DOING THIS FOR NO AUDIENCE BECAUSE ARE YOU LIKE I
WASN'T BAD, IT WAS JUST NO ONE WAS IN.
>> James: BUT THEN YOU HEAR A HALF LIKE THAT AND YOU REALIZE
OH, I WAS BAD.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> James: THAT'S THE PROBLEM, THEY LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE
OF SECURITY.
>> THEY DO.
>> James: I MEAN, PETE YOU WERE ONE OF THE LAST GUESTS THAT
WE HAD HERE WITH AN AUDIENCE BEFORE THINGS SHUT DOWN.
HOW HAS THE LAST YEAR BEEN FOR YOU?
>> YEAH, IT WAS ALL RIGHT, IT WAS ALL RIGHT.
IT IS FUNNY HOW YOU GET USED TO WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE QUARANTINE I WAS LIKE THIS IS ME.
I'M A CAT.
I WANT TO BE INSIDE.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE PEOPLE.
AND THE FIRST TIME I DID STANDUP I WAS LIKE I'M A DOG.
IMMEDIATELY, JUST A COPING MECHANISM, THIS IS ALL RIGHT,
THIS IS ALL RIGHT.
>> James: WHAT WAS IT LIKE GOING OUT TO DO STANDUP FOR THE
FIRST TIME?
>> LIKE DOING AN IMPRESSION OF MYSELF.
LIKE I GOT REALLY, REALLY NERVOUS.
I WATCHED MYSELF DOING STANDUP AND I WAS LIKE HOW IS HE DOING
THIS.
AND I GOT NERVOUS THAT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO WHAT ARE
YOU DOING.
>> YES.
>> BUT LIKE MY FRIEND SAYS ST LIKE FALLING OFF A BIKE, IT
COMES RIGHT BACK.
>> James: BUT HOW DID YOU FIND THE AUDIENCE IN THE ROOM?
>> GRATEFUL.
>> I HOPE WITH HOW IS THIS SAFE, THAT GETS A BIG LAUGH.
NOT HEAR BUT THERE.
BUT YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T GET PEOPLE THAT JUST WANDERED IN,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, LOOKING TO GET OUT OF THE RAIN.
LIKE EVERYBODY THERE IS THERE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE THERE.
AND THAT MAKES FOR REALLY GOOD SHOWS.
AND YOU KNOW, I GET TO TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT I DIDN'T GET
TO TALK ABOUT.
I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS GAINING WEIGHT DURING THE QUARANTINE
UNTIL I WATCHED EVERY VIDEO THAT I SHOT OF MY WIFE AND MY BABY
AND I COULD HEAR MYSELF BREATHING.
YEAH.
THAT IS A BIG ONEK I PLAYED IT BACK, AND IT WAS-- THROW THAT
FRISBEE, I'M LIKE THEY'RE ON LEVEL GROUND, HOW AM I GOING
UPHILL IN THIS VIDEO.
>> James: IT IS VERY EASY TO SAY THIS, WE HAD ABOUT MAYBE SIX
MONTHS AGO, SOME FRIENDS HAVE KIDS, DROPPED SOMETHING ROUND
AND I, THE DOOR WENT AND I DIDN'T HEAR IT AND MY WIFE WENT
BABE, YOU CAN GET THE DOOR, SO I DID LIKE A, YOU KNOW THAT SORT
OF HALF WALK JOG YOU DO TO THE DOOR IN YOUR HOUSE.
>> NOT QUITE A SCE DAD EL BUT FOOTBALL PARK.
>> James: AND I DID THATnd A GOT TO THE DOOR AND I OPENED
IT.
AND OUR FRIENDS SAID HAVE YOU JUST BEEN THROUGH A RUN?
AND I LITERALLY DID THIS.
YOU SAY CAN YOU DPET THE DOOR.
>> REQUEST YOU IMET THE DOOR BABE?
>> James: THAT WAS IT, AND BECAUSE I WAS WEARING SPORTS
APPAREL, AS I DO AROUND THE HOSE, HE SAID HAVE YOU BEEN OUT
FOR A RUN.
AND I WENT UH-HUH.
AND THAT IS WHAT I WAS JUST DOING, YES.
>> BECAUSE WERE YOU WINDED.
I JUST GOT THE FIRST MASSAGE, AND THE TBIE HAD THE GAWL TO SAY
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR EXERCISE.
I WAS LIKE I'M HERE TO RELAX.
DON'T BRING UP THE FACT THAT I HAEN'T MOVED IN A YEAR.
>> James: THAT'S NO FUN.
>> JUST GET TO THE OLD-- GET TO IT.
>> I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
>> James: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS, YOU RECENTLY
JUST FINISHED FILMING THE REBOOT OF HOME ALONE.
WHEN HE I HEARD THIS MY THOUGHT WAS ARE YOU NOT A LITTLE OLD TO
PLAY KEVIN McALYSTER.
>> I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY KEVIN McAL, I THINK I'M AN UNCLE, ST
VAGUE.
I'M IN THE FAMILY.
IT IS MY FAULT THAT HE GETS LEFT HOME ALONE.
SO I FEEL LIKE I WILL BE IN THE TRAILER WHICH IS EXCITING.
AND I WAS IN IT WITH THE GREATCASE PARNELL.
>> James: YEAH, IS HE WONDERFUL.
>> ONE OF THE REASONS I WAS EXCITED TO DO IT WE SHOT FOR
LIKE THREE DAYS IN MONTREAL.
THEN THE LOCKDOWN HAPPENED.
AND THEY CALLED ME AND THEY WERE VERY SWEET.
THEY WERE LIKE WE NEED YOU JUST FOR ONE MORE DAY BUT TO COMPLY
WITH COVID YOU NEED TO QUARANTINE FOR TWO WEEKS, LIKE
CANADIAN QUARANTINE, LIKE REAL QUARANTINE, LIKE A ENLO, YOU
CAN'T LEAVE.
>> THEY FOLLOW YOU, THEY CALL YOU, ALL THAT STUFF.
SO I WAS LIKE YEAH, NO PROBLEM.
I MEAN IT'S KIND OF A PROBLEM BUT I CAN MAKE DUE SO I DID IT
BUT ON THE WAY THERE, I SAID I WOULD DO IT.
I GET ON THE PLANE, I'M EXCITED TO SEE CHRIS PARNELL AGAIN.
THERE IS ONLY ONE FLIGHT LEAVING L.A. TO GET TO MONTREAL, I
ASSUME HE IS ON THE SAME FLIGHT.
I TEXT HIM, ARE YOU ON THIS FLIGHT TO MONTREAL.
AND HE GOES I'M NOT DOING IT YOU JUST SAID NO.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU COULD SAY NO.
>> James: DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS THING.
>> DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS AN OPTION, ARE YOU IN A MOVIE.
AND YOU GET THERE AND THEY WROTE HIS LINES THAT THEY ARE TAKING,
CAN YOU SAY TAKING A DUMP, NICK.
>> SAY IT.
>> WE'RE GOING FOR IT.
HE WAS IN THE BATHROOM, SO HE WASN'T REALLY THERE, SO I AM
SAYING MY LINES TO HIM AND HE'S SAYING THEM AS IF HE IS
OCCUPIED.
>> James: WOW.
>> THAT IS HOW HE DID IT.
>> James: AND HOW WAS THE FEW WEEKS ON YOUR OWN.
>> I DIDN'T MIND IT.
YOU KNOW, I SLEPTD DURING THE DAY, IN A WOODEN BOX, JUST SORT
OF LURKED AROUND.
IT WASN'T THAT BAD.
I WATCHED A LOT OF HORRIBLE TELEVISION.
I SOMETIMES WALKED ON A TREADMILL, THAT IS WHAT I SHOULD
HAVE TOLD THE MASSAGE GUY.
BUT I SLEPT.
HAVE I A TWO AND A HALF AREA OLD.
AND THIS WAS-- MY WIFE WAS JEALOUS I GOT TO BE ALONE FOR
TWO WEEKS.
AND MY BABY HAD HER FIRST WORD IN QUARANTINE.
>> James: WHAT WAS IT.
>> IT WAS CRACKER WHICH I FOUND RACIALLY INSENSITIVE.
SHE WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME.
WE WERE ON THE COUCH AND SHE WENT, CRACKER.
I PREFER HONKY, BUT OKAY.
ALEXIA TURN OFF THE DAVE MATHEWS.
I'M GETTING CALLED RACIAL SLURS, THAT IS ENOUGH ANTS MARCHING FOR
TODAY.
>> James: NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW SHOW SMALLWOOD, I'M
REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS, TELL US WHAT IT IS ABOUT AND WHO YOU
PLAY.
>> I PLAY TOM SMALLWOOD AND IT IS LOOSELY BASED ON A REAL
PROFESSIONAL BOWLER CALLED TOM SMALLWOOD WHO GOT LAID OFF AFTER
HAVING WORKED HIS WHOLE LIFE IN A CAR PLANT AND HE WAS A VERY,
VERY GOOD BOWLER, AND THIS IS WHY I THINK PEOPLE WILL RELATE
TO THE SLOW, ESPECIALLY AFTER QUARANTINE, WE ARE REALIZING,
LIFE IS SHORT, WE HAVE TO GO FOR IT, THAT IS WHAT IT IS ABOUT.
>> HE TELLS HIS WIFE I WANT TO BECOME A PROFESSIONAL BOWLER.
>> James: IT SOUNDS GREAT.
YOU MUST BE THRILLED TO BE DOING THIS.
HOW DID YOUR FAMILY REACT WITH BEING A LEAD.
>> MY MOM WAS SO EXCITED.
I DON'T THINK SHE HAS BEEN EXCITED FOR ANY OF THE OTHER
THINGS.
>> James: REALLY.
>> BECAUSE SHE UNDERSTANDS T IS A CBS SITCOM.
SHE LOVES THOSE, I LOVE THOSE BUT SHE WATCHES THOSE.
EVERYTHING ELSE I HAVE DONE HAS BEEN LIKE A WEIRD DARK, DIRTY
JOURNEY.
THERE IS SEX AND NEWEDDITY AND SHE DIDN'T-- SHE WOULD GO TO
CHURN, BRING PEOPLE FROM CHURCH HOME TO WATCH WHATEVER I HAD
JUST DONE.
AND SHE WAS LIKE AGAST.
THE FIRST THING SHE SAID WAS FINALLY SOMETHING I CAN WATCH.
IT WAS EITHER THIS OR HOSTING JEOPARDY.
THAT IS THE ONLY WAY-- .
>> James: EVER MAKE HER PROUD.
>> BUT SHE WAS SO THRILLED.
I WAS LIKE OH, YOU HAVE BEEN FAKING IT EVERY OTHER TIME.
>> James: I THINK IT WILL BE REALLY SUCCESSFUL.
>> I LIKE PERFORMING IN FRONT OF REAL LIVE AUDIENCES.
IT PEEKS TO ME AS A STANDUP AND PERFORMER IN THAT WAY TO SEE
THEM AND HEAR THOSE LAUGHS AND IT IS ALSO EXACTLY WHAT 15 YEAR
OLD-- WOULD BE DOING IN HIS DREAM CAME TOO, IT IS JUST THOSE
SITCOMS, THE CHEESIER, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, IT IS A THRILL TO
BE ABLE TO DO IT.
>> James: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.
CANNOT WAIT TO SEE IT.
YOU CAN CATCH SMALLWOOD LATER THISSIER ON CBS.
PETE HOLMES EVERYBODY.