'But, your changing the rules.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
'It's a kind of pornography'
and Welcome to Blood City.
'I'd shoot a man in the back, I'd shoot him in the front, I'd shoot him in the side, I'd shoot him in God's house if I took a mind to'
By the time of City Slickers 3, Curly had developed a bit of an attitude.
'This is Blood City'
A group of people wake up in the wilderness with no memory of how they got there.
'All we know is; something happened'
and nothing in their pockets but a card telling them how many murders they committed.
'You killed 5 soldiers? What did you do; kiss 'em to death?'
That's 2001's Keir Dullea. And with a jackass attitude like that, he can only be the hero.
'I want some help.'
Yet when that woman is raped by outlaws, it's not Dullea's Lewis who steps up.
'I've got a few words I want to whisper to this pretty little lady here'
'You let her go you pig'
after they're brought into town by Sherriff Jack Palance.
'Name's Frendlander'
she's threatened again, and again.
'That's enough!'
Alright, he's being smart, heroism is all very well but look what happened to the guy who tried to help.
You don't take unnecessary risks.
'I'm going to get myself a pair of boots'
Unless your feet are cold.
'You need some sense knocked into you'
The last person to speak out of turn got shot, when Lewis does it.
'Maybe you want some sugar?'
Pranks of the old west.
Lewis has an amazing survival strategy; piss everyone off, and trust to luck.
'I ain't gonna miss you this time'
I don't know what happened there, but now he's a citizen rather than a slave,
and in a position to help the girl who is destined to be the sex slave of the bad guy.
'Please, I need some help'
'It's not that easy'
I'm new here, I'm trying to make a good impression. I don't want to be the guy who stops a man from raping his slaves.
'You're beginning to disappoint me'
His very next action is to nail the sheriff's girl,
even though...
'Well what would he feel about you and me being up here together'
'He'd probably kill you'
So; willing to risk his life to get laid, or for boots, but not to help someone else.
Literally the only thing Lewis does for that girl is stop her from being hysterical.
'If you don't kill them, then you gotta kill me.'
In the usual way.
'I'm sorry'
There is another aspect of Welcome to Blood City that needs mentioning.
'Terminate that one.'
It seems to be a futuristic game of some sort
'You should know by now that a everything tat happens in the game, happens for a reason.'
And yet a game that has some serious purpose.
'We're trying to find women and men emotionally and physically equipped for leadership'
And this was the obvious way?
'That's why blood city was created darling - weed out the losers.'
So, the government uses a virtual reality game to find natural leaders then kills the ones who fail.
Vaguely reminiscent of Patrick MacGoohan's The Prisoner...
'You, mister, are number 9'
I am not a number, I am a free man!
'Not funny'
Now just to be clear, I think this whole idea is moronic,
what do you learn about leadership by having people raped?
'We've got to have results'
but it doesn't even work on its own terms; why is Jack Palance's character still in the game.
'We have something special in mind for our man Frendlander'
That pays off in no way. It's a line added to cover a plot hole that just draws attention to it.
'Only a fool fool with a fool.'
Lewis is apparently ideal.
'I believe we have a suitable candidate for killmaster in Michael Lewis.
'Which suggests that total self-interest is a leadership quality
and ignores the fact that Samantha Eggar's scientist is using her in-game avatar to help him.
'You have no right to program yourself into the game'
Sometimes more than help.
Everyone knows she's doing this and it again blurs the line between this being a game and serious military operation.
'You are jeopardising the entire project'
The impression we're given is that this is a country at war...
'We're losing Killmasters faster than we can replace them. We are falling behind.'
Desperately in need of the brilliant military leaders this ridiculous project will provide,
and yet one of the scientists in charge is using it to get her rocks off.
'It's not very scientific'
Then she gets jealous when Lewis objects to her killing the other girl...
for whom things really didn't go well, and withdraws her support.
'I'm afraid Mr Lewis has not come up to my expectations after all'
Not that it matters as the procedure drives successful candidates mad.
Final verdict.
'Well I guess it's better than a kick in the ass'
Guess again.
'That is a fact.'
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What's your favorite cult movie in which the government indulges in some mad science project let us know in the comments below
'For the last time...'
'Get out.'