[MUSIC PLAYING]
-Last week, on "Learning Town."
[MUSIC PLAYING]
COOKIE: You're probably expecting me to yell at you.
And I'd have every right.
But since it hasn't worked so far, I'm trying something new.
STORM: Time out?
PAUL: Leeches?
COOKIE: No.
Namaste.
This is a vision meeting.
We would do these back in the early days of Hikky--
PAUL AND STORM: Boo.
COOKIE: Shh.
Burr--
before the show became a 24/7 brofest.
We would do these to make sure that we were on the right
track, and that we shared a common vision.
Now without getting into who was right and who was wrong
about the guest stars--
PAUL AND STORM: Boo.
[CAR HONKING]
COOKIE: Right on time.
Good job.
-Look out.
COOKIE: Next week's episode is about numbers.
And we're going to write it together, in the spirit of
teamortunity.
STORM: Teamor-what?
COOKIE: Team, opportunity, teamortunity.
PAUL: What-ortunity?
STORM: Teamor-what?
COOKIE: So in the spirit of that, let's just start
throwing out some ideas.
STORM: Yeah.
COOKIE: I have an idea.
I'll go first.
[MUSIC PLAYING, COOKIE SINGING]
[SLOW APPLAUSE]
STORM: Wow, those sure were numbers.
COOKIE: It isn't your turn yet.
And get out of my vision.
STORM: Can I offer just a small tweak?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
STORM: Gather around, little learning buckaroos.
It's time for learning Storm to teach you all a little song
about numbers.
[SINGING]
[GUNSHOT]
PAUL: Nice try, Borenanza, hashtag LOL, hashtag sarcasm.
STORM: Hey, I wasn't done yet.
COOKIE: Jerk jail?
Really?
STORM: Yeah.
It's where jerks go.
PAUL: Guys, guys, I totally understand
where you're both going.
And I think I have a solution.
Check this out.
STORM: Teamortunity?
PAUL: No, that way.
Ring-a-ding, kiddies.
We're going help you squirts to a groovy little number
called "Numbers."
Here's one to start of--
15, as in dollars, as in maybe you spend that on one of our
albums if you know what's good for you, you little jerks.
Okie-doke.
Let's do this thing.
Daddy's got a date tonight.
Ladies, let's make this one count.
Maestro, roll it.
[MUSIC PLAYING, PAUL SINGING]
COOKIE: Paul!
Paul!
Oh my god, Paul.
This isn't working.
Say what you will about Hikky--
PAUL AND STORM: Boo.
COOKIE: --Burr!
Burr.
But at least we had a vision.
At least we were working towards
something together at first.
PAUL: Yeah, how'd that work out for you, Cookie?
COOKIE: How did it work out?
They stopped listening to my ideas.
They let me be in charge of all the grunt work.
So I quit.
That's how that worked out.
Sound familiar?
STORM: Cookie, we totally want to hear your ideas.
We just want to make sure they're in line with "Learning
Town"'s original--
PAUL: Antiquated, boring ass, 19-dorkedy-seven snooze fest.
COOKIE: Storm's ideas might be 50 years out of date, but at
least they're age appropriate.
STORM: Thank you.
Also, suck it.
At least I'm trying to protect the integrity of the show, and
not turn it into some self-serving merch-fest.
PAUL: Well excuse me for trying to promote the band
we've been in for 10 years, Storm.
STORM: Our job is to teach the kids.
PAUL: I don't care about the kids.
I care about affording food.
COOKIE: If it's not about the kids, then why are you here?
PAUL: That is an excellent god damn question.
STORM: Here's a question for you.
What is the atomic weight of cobalt?
PAUL: Your mom is the atomic weight of cobalt.
STORM: Your face is cobalt.
TEDDY: Dad and Mom and Dad, stop fighting.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[EERIE VOCAL MUSIC PLAYING]
TEDDY: No!
COOKIE: That's it.
I'm done.
PAUL: Fine by me.
STORM: Sorry Learning Town.
Sorry, bench.
Sorry, gazebo.
Sorry, chicken on the top of the gazebo.
Sorry, forced perspective background.
Sorry, whimsical shop vac.
Sorry, brick.
Sorry, rest of bricks.
Sorry, off brand AstroTurf.
Sorry, Teddy.
Sorry, general store.
Sorry, town hall.
-Ms. Tuesdays.
COOKIE: Yes?
-We're very interested in talking to you.
COOKIE: About?
-The future, your future.
[DRUMROLL]
-Hey, I'm [INAUDIBLE] from YOMYOMF's "Jon Davis Gets a
Sex Robot."
-And I'm Heathfield from Geek and Sundry's "Learning Town."
-So what's your show about?
-It's two gents who take over a kid's show, sing songs, and
set me on fire.
-Oh, what's it like to be on fire?
-You tell me, baby girl.
-Are you hitting on me?
-No, but he is.
PAUL: Subscribe to Geek and Sundry now, or I'll shoot you.
I'll shoot you with my pink, plastic, fake gun.