(Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston)
Wiz: Some people adventure for wealth. For others, the wealth is in the adventure.
Boomstick: Either way, you'll be successful if you can bounce off your enemies' heads.
Wiz: Like Scrooge McDuck, the wealthiest waterfowl to ever live.
Boomstick: And Shovel Knight, a shining example of the code of shovelry.
He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who will win a DEATH BATTLE.
(Ducktales Remastered Soundtrack - Moon Theme)
In 1867, Scrooge McDuck was born to a poor family in Glasgow, Scotland.
He grew up a relatively normal duckling until his 10th birthday.
Boomstick: Scrooge's father took him to see the remains of the old McDuck Clan castle.
See, their family wasn't always super poor and Scrooge was inspired by the sight of their former glory.
So the next day, he got a job and earned his first money ever:
A dime.
Wiz: Problem was it was an American dime and Scrooge was in Scotland.
Naturally feeling pretty cheated, Scrooge swore he'd build his fortune by being, I quote:
"tougher than the toughies" and "sharper than the sharpies."
Boomstick: So he hopped over to America to start his quest for wealth,
and judging by his money vault today where he literally swims in gold, I'd say he did a pretty effin' good job.
Wiz: No obstacle is too difficult to keep him from fortune.
By my estimations, his entire net worth today rests around three hundred quadrillion dollars.
Boomstick: Rich as he is, he's gotta defend his treasure trove somehow.
So this wealthy waterfowl's got more guns than I do!
Not to mention the trusty cannons he has hidden around his manor.
Haha, nothin' like some old fashioned artillery for home defense!
Wiz: Scrooge also has a number of unorthodox high-tech firearms.
Boomstick: Or as normal people call them, laser guns! My favorite is the one that can shoot through solid steel titanium.
It's called the Burglar Stunner, but I'm pretty sure that'll do a hell of a lot more than stun you.
Wiz: Well, MY favorite would be Scrooge's Neutra-Friction and Antinertia rays.
By removing a target's natural friction and inertia, these guns can turn a foe so slippery they can't grip anything,
or take away all momentum from that foe's movement and weight.
Without friction, a person will slide miles upon miles with no hope of stopping themselves.
Without inertia, a cannonball will have even less impact than falling leaves,
though it is important to note that these guns do not effect personal gravity.
Boomstick: Uh, yeah, science and stuff!
Though if I were him, I'd prefer the feel of one of his rifles or swords.
Wiz: Or his signature sidearm, his trusty cane.
Boomstick: What's so special about a dusty old cane, you ask?
Well, just look at the old quack go!
Not every duck can turn their cane into both a club and a pogo stick.
Wiz: Even when he's unarmed, Scrooge's thirst for wealth has pushed his body past many preconceived limits.
He possesses incredible strength, speed, and durability.
Boomstick: Not to mention, the dude's got some serious huevos!
One time, when he was stuck in the Savannah, he walked right up to a lion,
beat it in a roaring match, and then just rode it all the way to town.
Wiz: He's also a surprisingly skilled marksman.
Boomstick: Like some sort of gun-toting Mr. Myagi, he can shoot flies out of the air with perfect precision.
Wiz: And he's no slouch with a blade. Apparently, Buffalo Bill taught him how to knife fight in...
um...
"injun style".
Ahem, and now's a great time to remind you that Scrooge is pretty old! It was a... different time.
Boomstick: Ah... racism aside, it takes a lot to put this mighty mallard down.
He's survived the Titanic sinking, being frozen solid in the Yukon, fighting hordes of wild animals,
and taking a cannon shot to the face, before being dragged through a mine field.
He's even survived a trip to the literal center of the Earth, which, if you've forgotten, is pretty much super lava.
Wiz: That's putting it mildly. The Earth's core is estimated to be well over nine thousand degrees Fahrenheit.
Boomstick: More than hot enough to cook your goose.
Wiz: He's outrun a cheetah, which can reach 75 miles per hour.
He's stopped a charging water buffalo, which can weigh up to 2,600 pounds.
Boomstick: And did you ever hear that legend where George Washington threw a
silver dollar across the Potomac River?
Well, Scrooge can do that too, and he even caught the coin on the other side!
Because Scrooge isn't gonna waste a single dollar.
Wiz: Seems pretty impressive, but Scrooge has some massively problematic flaws, least of all is his age.
He's 150 years old! That won't do him any favors in a fight.
Boomstick: And why can't he fly?
I mean, he's a duck! With his own private plane, and he has human teeth and...
They really should just hire a poultry scientist at Disney.
Ooh, I'll send my resume!
Wiz: Well, more importantly would be his overpowering greed.
He can often lose sight of his goals or explode into an uncontrollable rage if someone threatens his wealth.
Boomstick: He is pretty selfish, and has a one-track mind.
I don't know if the uncontrollable rage part, though, is such a bad thing.
Wiz: Certainly not in some situations, like the time Soapy Slick tried to rip Scrooge off,
steal his property, and humiliate him by chaining him to a steamboat and making fun of his letters from home...
Including one informing Scrooge of his mother's passing.
Boomstick: That's more than enough to piss Scrooge off, so much that he literally tore the entire boat apart with his bare hands, er, wings.
HOLY DAMN, that's some real fowl strength!
Wiz: Just goes to show that nothing can stand between Scrooge and his wealth.
Scrooge: I don't know which was wilder in those days, the wolves, or me.
Wiz: A long time ago the world was wild and adventurers roamed the land.
The most famous of whom were partners Shield Knight and Shovel Knight.
Boomstick: You can tell how good they are by the giant piles of loot behind 'em!
Wiz: Shovel Knight and Shield Knight travelled together and they were the stuff of legend!
That is, until the Tower of Fate.
Boomstick: Once inside, a cursed amulet knocked Shovel Knight out cold.
When he woke up, Shield Knight was gone and the tower was sealed shut.
And, boy, did that bum him out!
So, like all depressed heroes, he abandoned everything and went to the wilderness to do a bunch of farming and... most likely drinking.
Wiz: Soon after he "retired", an evil woman called the Enchantress took power,
along with a group of villainous knights known as the Order of No Quarter.
Heh, get it? That's funny.
So, maybe retiring wasn't the most responsible idea.
Boomstick: Man's gotta mourn, Wiz.
Man's gotta mourn.
Wiz: You mean, like, when you took a week off to "mourn" after your divorce?
Because I'm pretty sure all you did was get drunk and shoot fireworks at my house.
Boomstick: Ah, yeah...
Man, that was a real good mourn.
Well, anyway, Shovel Knight's break didn't last long.
After the Enchantress and her knights took hold of the land, the Tower of Fate unsealed.
Knowing it was his only chance to find out what happened to Shield Knight, he dug back into action.
And with him, he took his mightiest weapon...
A-a shovel...
Wiz: Don't sell it short; it's not just any shovel, it's a Shovel Blade.
And thanks to its surprisingly versatile nature, it can slash through anything from rats to-
Boomstick: HOLY CRAP!
DID HE JUST... KILL A DRAGON WITH THAT THING!?
Wiz: Yes, he did!
Boomstick: That reminds me the time I made my own weapon out of a yard tool.
(sighs) I miss my rake blade.
Everyone got really confused and offended whenever I yelled my catchphrase:
"PREPARE TO GET RAKED!".
So I-I stopped using it.
Wiz: Oh... uh ohh!
Probably smart.
Well, thanks to the Shovel Blade's unique attributes, Shovel Knight has a
repertoire of deadly attacks, his signature being the Shovel Drop.
Boomstick: This deadly downward drop allows him to dig into his enemies, pogo stick style.
Now, where have I seen that before...?
Wiz: He also has a charge attack, that, when unleashed, does massive damage and can even penetrate armor.
If his enemy is more than a scoop's reach away, he can strike the earth to fire a dangerous spark that travels along the ground.
Boomstick: Know what else it's good for?
Diggin' up all that sweet, sweet treasure.
Wiz: But the Shovel Blade is far from his only weapon.
Throughout his journey, Shovel Knight has acquired many magical relics, which are quite handy in battle,
though they do require access to a limited supply of magic to use.
Boomstick: He can set stuff on fire with the Flare Wand, or punch through compact dirt with the Dust Knuckles.
Wiz: He can also take the wind out of his enemies with the Throwing Anchor,
or fly a short distance with the Propeller Dagger.
Boomstick: If Shovel Knight needs to kill bad guys in those hard to reach spaces, he has his trusty Chaos Orb, which acts like a bouncy ball of doom.
Wiz: He also possesses the Mobile Gear, a mechanism which allows him
to traverse dangerous terrain such as spikes and small gaps with ease.
Boomstick (Solid Snake voice): Ah, Mobile Gear...
But my favorite relic is the War Horn, which is kinda like the Horn of Gondor, but it makes people explode!
Wiz: Shovel Knight carries a few defensive relics as well.
Boomstick: Yeah, like those sweet fish goblets.
Wiz: You mean the Troupple Chalices.
These special liquid receptacles can carry Ichors, substances which, when drunk,
provide certain benefits to Shovel Knight. Most notably the Ichor of Renewal,
which fully restores his health and magic.
Boomstick: And how do you get such a useful liquid?
From a bunch of fish that perform an interpretive dance and spit in your cup.
It's dinner and a show!
Wiz: Last, but not least is the Phase Locket. This relic allows Shovel Knight to pass through his enemies
and even grants him temporary invincibility while under its effect.
Boomstick: Like all good knights, our shovel-wielding friend protects himself with a suit of shining armor.
Actually, he's got a few of 'em.
Wiz: His most capable, all around set is the Dynamo Mail.
Along with providing the kind of defense you need for fighting the forces of evil, it has an added bonus:
hitting just about anything with his Shovel Drop builds up a powerful charge attack.
Boomstick: Normally, a large suit of armor comes with a lot of extra weight, but Shovel Knight doesn't let that slow him down.
Wiz: Even in full plates, our delving hero seemingly never tires and is agile enough to dodge everything from cannonballs to fireballs.
Boomstick: Actually, the weight is more of a bonus, since his attack of choice is bouncing on heads. Wiz, math that.
Wiz: On it.
Comparing his height to these doors, Shovel Knight appears to be about four feet, six inches tall.
Given his broad physique, he likely weighs approximately one hundred pounds at most.
In the 14th century, a knight's plate armor for combat typically weighed about sixty pounds.
Scaling to Shovel Knight's height, his armor likely weighs fifty pounds.
Including the five pound shovel, he must drop with a force of over 6,700 joules of kinetic energy.
In comparison, Mike Tyson can punch with up to 1,600 joules, and has knocked out 44 people in the ring,
and Shovel Knight's striking power is over four times stronger than that.
Boomstick: Good job!
No wonder Shovel Knight was able to take down the entire Order of No Quarter,
including a giant steampunk mech, and the Enchantress herself.
Wiz: He's also stubborn enough to hold his breath underwater for an impressively indefinite amount of time,
and he even held his own against the Battletoads and Kratos, the upcoming God of War.
Boomstick: What the hell?
Really?
That's awesome!
If you sell enough games, you can get anybody.
Wiz: But even after all that, Shovel Knight doesn't seem the most intelligent warrior.
After all, the only reason he gave up on Shield Knight for so long is because he just assumed she was dead.
Boomstick: Still, he's one deadly warrior who isn't afraid to put his enemies six feet under.
You know, 'cause he digs holes and stuff.
(Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston)
Wiz: All right the combatants are set!
Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: But first I got some free food for ya!
Now I'm a man who likes a good home cooked meal but going out to buy or hunt my own food is a hassle.
If only there was some way food can be brought straight to me.
Wiz: Good news Boomstick introducing: Blue Apron.
The #1 fresh food delivery service in the country.
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On top of that you can log into their website and select the upcomin' meals that sound good to you.
Like the spicy shrimp coconut curry with cabbage and rice.
Wiz: Plus it does feel rewarding cooking new and exciting meals right in your own home but don't just take our word for it, we want you to try it.
Boomstick: Because you're watchin' DEATH BATTLE you can get 3 meals free with free shipping by heading to Blueapron.com/BATTLE.
Wiz: Seriously you will love how good it feels and taste to create incredible home cooked meals with Blue Apron.
So don't wait that's Blueapron.com/BATTLE.
Boomstick: But right now... IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Announcer: FIGHT!
Announser: KO!
Boomstick: Damn, that's cold!
With his own weapon!
Wiz: Shovel Knight might have been able to uphold the code of shovelry,
but he could not hold up to Scrooge's wealth of experience and superior strength.
Boomstick: Aside from the extra hundred plus years of experience he's got over Shovel Knight,
Scrooge's feats blew him out of the water.
For example, there's no way that shovel could've put him down very quickly
when he's powered through a minefield like it's nothing.
Wiz: And remember how he threw a coin across the Potomac River and rode across fast enough to catch it?
Well, we know the average width of the river is thirteen hundred feet and he threw the coin at an angle of twenty degrees.
After some quick calculations, this means he must have thrown the coin, boarded his boat,
rode across the entire river, and exited the boat to catch the coin in less than 5.4 seconds.
This means he must have been rowing the boat at speeds well over 164 miles per hour.
Boomstick: Jesus, how fast are his arms movin' there?!
Wiz: To make all that work? At least 14,400 rotations per minute.
Boomstick: That's ducking awesome!
Wiz: He is strong enough to rip apart a steamboat after all.
But regardless of Scrooge's power, Shovel Knight had very little options
to defend against the duck's wackier, physics-breaking weaponry.
Those that could buy him some time could only last for so long, due to his limited supply of magic.
Boomstick: Plus, Scrooge has fought knights and magicians before,
while Shovel Knight never fought anyone quite like Scrooge McDuck.
Looks like Shovel Knight dug his own grave.
Wiz: The winner is Scrooge McDuck.
Boomstick: NEXT TIME ONNNN DEATH BATTLE.
(Venom roars)
Chad: Hey guys I'm Chad I play Boomstick.
Ben: I'm Ben I play Wiz.
And next time we've got: Venom.
From Marvel but who's he gonna be fighting? You can stick to our social media will be announcing it very shortly.
Chad: And you've could've watch this DEATH BATTLE early! And all the videos early plus merchandise discounts and bunch of great stuff by becoming a First member.
It's free to try so click the link in the description below and sign up today.
Ben: Thanks for watching guys! Chad: Yeah!