Don't get me wrong I love Christmas
there are just few things that...
...do I love Christmas?
*CHRISTMAS*
When I was a kid my parents tried to make Christmas really special for me
They just did this one very stupid thing that ruined it every single year.
Peter! Santa Claus is in the sky!
Come on, Peter!
Where?? Where?!!
Oooh! You just missed him!
-kill parents-kill parents-kill them both-kill them now-
In my family, Santa didn't only bring presents, he also brought the Christmas tree
So on the night of December 23rd there was no tree in our living room
and when I woke up in the morning of December 24th, I was blown away by a beautiful sparkling Christmas tree..
...until my beliefs were ruined again
So it was all a lie...
I'm sorry, Peter..
-kill parents-kill parents-
A big part of Christmas Eve is the delicious food that you eat with your family
Some countries have the exquisite, most delicious salmon...
some countries eat the most flavorful, mouthwatering cod...
In Slovakia, we have carp.
It's probably the worst fish in the world - it tastes like crap
and it has too many little bones that can get stuck in your throat.
So many people end up in an emergency room and what can ruin Christmas more than a trip to the f-cking hospital..
f-cking bone
son of a b*tch
I can't breathe!!
I know it's not about the presents, but who doesn't like receiving them..
However, there are certain gifts that just scream: I had no idea what to buy so I bought this.
Wow! A cup!
Bought at the last moment, right? :)
uuuh, a pillow!
Two points down for originality :)
Scented candle!
Are we good? Did I do something to you?
Speaking of Christmas presents, you always get at least one that is absolutely awful.
And the moments after that when you need to pretend you like it truly kill me.
A toothbrush case and..
..diabetic cookies!
Well, I'm not diabetic, but thanks cousin Scott!
CHEEK CRAMPS
Before opening presents my family goes to church.
I actually like the atmosphere of all the people singing Christmas carols
but my mother sings in such an incredibly high pitch that all the people standing nearby are suffering.
If there's one thing I find bizarre about Christmas, it's wishing people a 'Merry Christmas'
It has become such an empty phrase as everyone is saying it to anyone they meet, you can hear it on every street corner
and people you've never seen our you've never met are squeezing it into every possible situation.
Merry Christmas!
well.. merry christmas.. I guess..
Christmas is different in each part of the world.
Last year I spent it in Argentina and you know.. the hot weather, the passionate South American people..
..it was definitely less conventional then back home..
Honey, were you in church today?
Yes Mom, I was at a church service in the afternoon.
And did you read the Bible, Peter?
Yeah, I read 2 chapters in the morning and I will read more before the dinner.
I'm glad to hear that sweetheart, we all wish you Merry Christmas full of joy and happiness.
Merry Christmas to all of you too. I love you. Bye.
Let's party!!!
*f*ck her, f*ck her hard!!*
He forgot to hang up.
Let's pray.
No, I love Christmas, I appreciate the time spent with family more and more every year
as I don't live with my parents anymore.
So enjoy spending time with your family and..
..Merry Christmas!
Oh and if you'd like to give me a Christmas present...