I mean, just look at this place.
It's disgusting, not to mention our cheap boss.
Whoo hoo, got it.
Good as new.
[humming]
[groaning]
[gasping]
Hold on, Patty, I got you.
[groaning]
Whoa!
[groaning]
Okay, SpongeBob, time to come back down and get to work
so I can garnish your wages for wasting that patty!
Hey, it's my lucky day, a penny.
Your luck just ran out!
Hey, man, ease back. You're crushing my arm.
Unhand that penny or the arm comes off!
Ha ha!
That little display of parsimonious penny-pinching
just earned you a nice little spot
in Davy Jones' locker for eternity!
I'm not cheap, I'm generous.
You almost tore a man's arm off for a penny.
Thanks, Squidward. I knew I could count on you.
Money, money, this. Money, money that.
Profit will make me wallet fat.
What? Profits down $3 from last month?
I gotta start running a tighter ship around here.
Thank you for choosing the Krusty Krab.
Here's your change.
- Mr. Squidward. - What?
What's with all this change nonsense?
Over and under, grab then end, put it through here,
up and around, around the horn, bring it back home.
Mm.
SpongeBob, I ain't paying ya to play dress up.
Breathe on your own time. I don't pay ya to breathe.
You hardly pay us at all.
Oh. That reminds me, I got something for ya.
Ah, yes, our meager restitution.
[sniffing]
Ah, the sweet smell of payday.
Huh?
Oh, sorry, that's me dry cleaning.
Here's your check.
And here's yours, SpongeBob.
I can't accept your money, Mr. Krabs.
Grilling is my passion.
What is this?
You're making me pay you to stand at the cash register?
What is the meaning of this? Have you gone off the deep end?
There's gonna be a few changes around here.
Every time I catch you two goofing off,
I'm gonna charge you for it.
18, 19, and 20. Here you go, Mr. K.
I think this should cover all my nonsense.
Oh, and here's an extra 50 cents for when I was tying my shoe.
SpongeBob, I got a proposition for you.
How's about you go catch me some of those little money fish.
Oh, boy. Getting paid to jellyfish.
That's my life's dream.
Well, keep dreaming. This will be on your time.
Someone tried to throw away a patty.
Pinchomatic has saved you 5.2 cents.
But Mr. Krabs, I found that under the grill.
And tomorrow, a customer will find it under his bun.
But it's old and cold and so very full of mold.
You're not to make another patty until that one is sold.
Day ten of nonstop service!
Mr. Krabs, can I go home yet?
No one goes home.
Look at these bags under my eyes.
Even my bags have bags.
[screaming]
Quit your bellyaching, Squidward.
You don't hear SpongeBob complaining, do ya?
♪ K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y Says I ♪
You can learn a few things from that boy.
Mr. Krabs, he is not normal.
All right, you can sit down for five minutes,
then it's back to work.
The pickles should be right where they always are.
I know I put them on. Where are those pickles?
Pickles, pickles, pickles.
[screaming]
I believe you owe me two bucks.
Two bucks?!
Your guarantee.
Oh, that. Well, can we talk about this?
No.
How about a discount on restroom tokens?
'Fraid not.
How's about a free glass of water?
A dozen free glasses of water! I'll even put ice in it!
No! Come back! $2! $2! Oh, no!
Mr. Krabs, I know I put pickles on that Krabby Patty.
That two bucks is comin' out of your paycheck!
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Ah, a yard sale. You know the old saying:
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Disposable? Phooey.
For Mr. Krabs, all trash is treasure.
Open for business. See anything you like?
Yeah, I'll give you a buck fifty for this umbrella.
A buck fifty for that? But it's an antique!
It belonged to a queen. Ten bucks.
Ten bucks? But it's full of holes.
It was the queen of Switzerland.
A queen you say? That's-- Wait a second!
They don't have a queen.
Okay, Mr. Bargain Hunter, five bucks.
Deal!
Ah, the sweet smell of an all-day sucker.
Davy Jones on the jib! Do my ears deceive me?
Is it really the first day of summer? Is it?
[chuckles] Yeah.
Whee-hoo!
Gee, Mr. K.,
you sure have a scorching case of summer fever!
What is it about summertime that makes us so happy?
The firefly-lit nights, the intoxicating aroma
of a charcoal briquette, the hypnotic sound
of a lawnmower running over a flip-flop?
The money!
The money?
Er, uh... I mean, uh... the children!
- Oh. - You see, boy,
during the summer, the children are excused
from their classes,
a recess commonly referred to as summer break.
Tell me more about summer break.
Well, during this summer break,
the children wander Bikini Bottom unsupervised,
their pockets lined with allowance.
Free to spend their money
without any parental guidance whatsoever.
I guess that's what I like best.
Sure, I suppose some would try
and take advantage of this situation
by selling them toys or candy, but I sleep well at night
with the knowledge that I'm providing them
with something they need: a nutritious meal.
Come here, you little piggies!
I've been taught the true meaning of summer.
Individuation of the end user will substantially broaden
the probability of multiple subsequent visits,
generating an inverse negative revenue margin
of three quarters of a half of 1%:
meaning if you call the customers by their name,
they keep coming to spend more of their green backs!
So I want you two to learn the names of every customer.
What are you doing under the table?
If Krabby Patties are illegal now, aren't we breaking the law?
There's an old saying, lad: "What doesn't kill you,
usually succeeds in a second attempt."
But what does that have to do with making Krabby Patties?
Nothing but if you don't get out there and start cooking,
I'll make you start taking weekends off.
No!
[panting]
Mr. Krabs, I really think I should be getting back
to the grill now.
Are you kidding, lad?
Just look at all these paying customers.
Who's ready for another lap?
[cheering]
Oh, what is it?
That me, boy, is a grease trap.
It kind of looks like nobody's cleaned out
the trap in a while.
You know, SpongeBob, you're right.
But that's a big job.
A job that only two volunteer employees could do
for no extra pay.
Yeah!
I'll never get that formula
with that pest Krabs popping in and out like that.
I've got it.
I've been saving this for a rainy day.
It looks like an ordinary penny because it is an ordinary penny.
That fool Krabs is too grainy
to ignore you, my little pretty.
[laughing]
That sound. It sounds like the pitter patter of money.
Hey, where are you going, beautiful?
Mr. Krabs. Wha?
Stop! Please!
Wait!
Come on, Patrick. Easy now. Right this way.
What in the name of Neptune is going on here?
Patrick had a bloody nose, so I was going to walk him home.
Oh, a bloody nose, eh? You think I was born yesterday?
He doesn't even have a nose.
Now get back to work, the all of ya's!
I'm not running a happy factory here!
We'll triple the prices.
Mr. Krabs, if we want to get customers in here,
shouldn't we lower the prices?
Fine.
Uh, you could, uh, water down the ketchup.
At this point, it would be ketchuping up the water.
Whatever. Now, if these little fellers could work,
maybe you'd be on to something.
Hey, you couldn't make me a tiny little army
of unpaid workers, could ya?
Get in the bag! Filthy trash!
[SpongeBob laughing]
[gasping] Trash juice!
Hey, uh, maybe we should use another garbage bag, Mr. Krabs.
This one's kind of full.
Forget it, boy-o. I'm not paying for another garbage bag.
Just put your back into it.
I've been doing some calculating
and you know, crunching the old numbers.
And it turns out that I'll save a whole nickel
if I cut your salary... completely.
B-B-B-B- How about if I work for free?
Yeah, I looked into that.
Apparently it's illegal and I lose my vendor's license.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Is it cold in here or is it just me?
Well, get to work.
- What?! - Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs.
- Whoa oh! - Ha!
Wow, that looks like fun.
I'll have two Krabby Patties, but don't cook them.
I'll have two frozen Krabby Patties too.
It's beautiful.
I'm selling twice as many patties
and I don't even have to cook 'em.
I got you now, you slippery demon.
You're putting up a good fight. Yes, you are.
What ya doing, Mr. Krabs?
I'm picking Neptune's bucket.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about cold, hard flipping cash.
It's the mighty Moby Dollar!
Did ya see 'er, boy? I got her! Here she comes!
There she blows!
[laughing] Look, Mr. Krabs. Pennies!
Never mind the small change, lad. Get the net!
- This one? - No, no, no, no!
The money net! It's in me back pocket.
Wow! You look real good with a mustache, Mr. Krabs.
Never mind that, boy. Ready the net!
Net ready, sir!
I did it! [laughing]
I finally did it!
Congratulations, Mr. Krabs.
No, SpongeBob! Don't let it go!
- Huh? - Get it, SpongeBob! Get it!
- Get it! Get it! Get it! - Hey! Hey! Hey!
Come back! No!
No!
This'll make a great fish story, eh, Mr. Krabs?
Oh, SpongeBob...
Yes, Mr. Krabs?
You're fired!
Whoa!
[gasping] What is this horrible place?!
Coochy coochy coo.
What kind of monster is responsible for this horror?
That's it, boys.
Keep that gelatinous gold a' flowing.
[laughing]
It's gonna take a lot more than a suitcase full of cash
to buy the Krusty Krab from me.
Oh, there's a lot more than that.
The rest is over there.
Jumpin' King Neptune!
Sold. Give me my money.
Just one thing. If you could sign this contract,
Just states that you relinquish the Krusty Krab
and all proprietary ownership thereof,
along with its employees, merchandise, logos
and cash registers.
Do I still get the money?
- Of course. - That'll be fine then.
[indistinct chatter]
What is my future?
My tentacles are gonna fall off if I don't get a break soon,
Mr. Krabs!
You know, boy-o, at first I just thought you were being
a lily-livered, spineless, crybaby, scardey-pants,
invertebrate loser.
But this rooftop restaurant of yours really has
me business booming!
SpongeBob, you're just in time for the grand unveiling
of... Krabby Land.
Krabby Land, sir?
Yes, Krabby Land.
Where a kid can have fun... for the right price.
[laughing]
Welcome to the Krusty Krab, young man.
- What's your name? - Monroe.
Nice to meet you, Monroe.
Whee. [Mr. Krabs laughing]
Mm. Aha. [change jiggling]
Okay, money. I mean, uh, children.
It's time for the grand unveiling
of... money. I mean... Krabby Land.
[cheering]
Okay, kids, now promise Uncle Krabs
that if you get hungry while you're playing,
you'll come inside for some delicious, nutritious
Krabby Patties.
We promise.
All right, here we go.
I give you... Krabby Land!
Yeah!
Whoa!
Where am I?
- Where is it? - What?
My dime!
Me special dime! The first dime I ever made!
I always keep it at the back of the register for luck.
Well, I've never seen it.
Hmm.
Are you prepared to say that with your hand on a stack
of Interpretive Dance Quarterlys?
SpongeBob. Wake up.
Where am I?
And what are these paramedics doing here?
You're back in your old kitchen.
And the pair of paramedics were here to revive ya.
I was asleep?
Yeah, but just for a little while.
So I only docked your pay
for the time you were unconscious.
Ah, the Bikini Bottom Zoo is having its annual Free Day.
Free balloons.
Free drinks.
Free light bulbs?
Aha.
Top of the morning, boys. [chuckles]
Whew.
Next stop: gift shop.
Mr. Krabs has stolen a very important item
from the oyster.
Behold.
[groaning]
Wait a minute. Behold! The oyster's pearl!
[gasping]
Here you go, girl.
[sniffing]
[cheering]
[gasping]
Mama. Mama.
Mother of pearl, the oyster's a mother.
and that pearl's no pearl, it's an egg.
Mama.
Awe.
But it's... Free Day.
Barnacle, Mr. Krabs, how much money did you lose?
I didn't lose any money. I lost...
Don't tell me you lost the Krusty Krab.
I lost...
Mr. Krabs, please tell me you didn't lose
the Krabby Patty secret formula.
I... lost... you.
What?
I bet your contract... and I lost.
This, Mr. Krabs, is the most generous,
big-hearted, non-skinflinted crab
in the whole sea.
He'd sell your soul for a couple of bucks.
I'd bet my soul he wouldn't.
You got yourself a bet.
Okay, Krabs, I'll let you stay, but first, help me settle a bet.
If you had to choose between SpongeBob
and all the money I have in my pocket,
which would you take?
That depends. How much money we talking about?
Mr. Krabs?
62 cents.
I'd take the money.
Mr. Krabs!