- Pause, you might as well just go
grab your parents right now,
so you can watch the video with them,
so they can proceed to deny every single thing I say.
Whaddup everyone; it's your girl, Superwoman.
And let me just preference this entire video
by saying, based on a true story.
And let's be real clear right off the bat here, okay?
Kids are hella annoying.
Like me, for example.
So annoying.
The most annoying.
But here's the thing, right?
This is my channel.
I can talk about whatever the f I want, so yo,
here's five annoying things your parents definitely do.
Number one, unnecessary comments.(UGH)
Oooh, can you feel your blood boiling already?
hachachachacha
It doesn't matter where your parents are from, okay.
Where they were born, where they were raised,
because all parents speak one universal language,
and that is the language of guilt trips.
No matter what I do, what we're talking about,
or how good of a child I've been,
my mom simply cannot end a sentence
without an unnecessary comment.
An unnecessary comment.
What?
Hey mom, I'll be home late tonight.
It's Kevin's memorial.
- Hon, that's okay.
I know your friend's more important than me.
- Oh.
(thumps up steps)
I am so tired.
I had the longest day ever at work.
I'm going straight to bed.
- Okay, (Pause)I know this just hotel for you anyways.
- Okay Dad, my friends are coming over.
Please do not get drunk
and talk about politics with them, okay?
- Fine.
(doorbell rings)
- Hey, how's it going?
- Hello, sorry, Lilly say I'm not allowed to talk to you.
- Why?
What's wrong with you?
Which petty Olympics are you competing in?
- (laughs) You make such funny joke.
That's okay.
I'm going to die soon, anyways.
- Number two, airport life.
I think I speak on behalf of all of humanity
when I say if I travel anywhere with my parents,
I am for sure going to reach the airport
way too many hours early for my flight.
- Oh Lilly, what time we leaving for airport?
- Oh, it's a domestic flight,
so an hour and a half should be fine.
- Huh, they saying on news,
make sure you go three hour early.
- Really?
Did they say that?
On the news?
It's fine, Mom; an hour and a half is fine, 7:00.
- Google's saying make sure you get there early.
- Mom, we're not flying to India.
Okay, 7:00 p.m. will be fine, trust me.
- Okay, we leave 6:30 just in case we get a red light, okay?
- Sure.
- Wife, what time we leaving for airport?
- Lilly said 4:00.
- Not to mention,
if my mom tells me we're leaving the house at 4:00 p.m.,
at 3:30 p.m., she gonna slap me for being late.
You telling bloody lies.
You know evolution, right?
Like, how we started as these little monkey things
and we evolved into, like, I don't know, whatever,
like vloggers or whatever the eff, yeah.
This is like right here, this prehistoric animal;
this is live footage of how early I got to the airport
with my parents. (laughs)
Oh god, it's funny, it's funny.
Click subscribe, shut up.
Not to mention, this happens every single time.
- Oh Lilly, make sure you print ticket, okay?
- No Mom, you don't need to print the tickets.
It's on my phone.
- What if something happened, huh?
- What, what could possibly happen?
- You get some sort of virus.
- Mom, I haven't printed a plane ticket since 2010.
Okay, we're fine.
- Okay.
- Here's the thing, though.
When your mom says okay, you have to listen to the tone,
because there's okay and then there's okay.
When she says okay, you think she's just fine
and accepting you ain't gonna print that ticket?
Nahh, that cues the petty Olympics.
Because now every single thing that happens
from this point on will be used against you
to prove her point, even if it's completely irrelevant.
- Can I have your passport, please?
- You see.
This is why we should have print ticket.
- Sorry, we don't have any more aisle seats.
- You see.
This is what happen when you don't print ticket.
- And it'll be $50 for the bag.
- You see.
Now we pay $50 penalty for no ticket.
- Speaking of which, zoop, number three.
Refusing technology.
Did I press record?
Oh! (gasps)
Here's the thing, right?
My Dad had to grow up doing everything himself
in what were apparently the worst possible conditions.
I had to walk bloody 80 kilometers in the snow, okay.
No shoe, no road, so bloody hard, okay.
There was no school, even. (laughs)
So it makes sense that he's a little bit stubborn
when it comes to receiving help,
especially help from machines.
A.K.A., my dad refuses to accept the capabilities
of technology.
- Okay, I tell you how to get there.
- Oh, that's okay, Dad, I can just GPS it.
- Why you going to waste the GPS?
I tell you.
- Waste?
Okay Dad, the GPS isn't some sort of limited resource.
- GPS doesn't know, okay?
- This piece of Google software doesn't know
how to get to the closest mall, really?
I'm pretty sure it does.
- No. - That wasn't a question.
- No. - Dad.
- No. - Stop.
- No.
- Dad.
- No.
- [GPS] Navigating to the mall.
- It's going to send you wrong way.
- But Dad, can you please just let me do this one thing?
- Look, look, it going to take you wrong way.
It's going to take bloody hour now.
- Okay, it literally says six minutes.
- Oh my god, one hour.
- [GPS] Turn left.
- Turn left here.
- I know.
- [GPS] Turn right.
- Right here.
- [GPS] Turn left.
- Left.
Oh Lilly, pay attention, I'm telling you direction.
- Every brown father ever is just like, Google a map?
Oh no, okay, 'cause we goin' turn right at that rock.
I know, trust me, that tree over there, we turn left.
We make a U-turn where that car always parked.
(laughs)
Number four, cooking obsession.
This one might be particular to brown kids, to be honest,
because I don't know what you white kids stay eating,
and I feel like you all just went to town
with some Hamburger Helper, but brown kids,
it was a little different,
because from childhood to literally now,
full-grown adulthood,
my mom is just absolutely obsessed
with cooking me food.
She has an obsession to insure that I've eaten,
and I know what you're thinking.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Oh, don't complain about that.
And I agree, it's sweet,
but too much of anything is not good.
She will harass me to cook for me.
She will uproot my life to serve me a meal,
to the point where it's an inconvenience.
I think that's a great idea.
Should we go over next steps?
Sorry, excuse me one second.
- Oh Lilly, what you want to eat?
- Mom, I'm on a call right now.
Don't worry about it.
So sorry, yes, you were saying?
(phone buzzes)
Oh sorry, one more second.
Hello?
- [Mom] Hi Lilly, what you want me to make you for lunch?
- Mom, I said I'm doing something.
I'll figure it out; don't worry.
You don't need to make me anything.
I'm so sorry. (laptop beeps)
You were saying something about mission statements?
Yeah, I see the email.
(phone jangles)
So sorry, that all sounds great.
I'll make sure I get those things over to you.
Okay, speak soon, cool beans, bye-bye.
- So, do you want cool bean with rice?
- Oh my god, yes, yes Mom, I'm hungry.
Could you please make me a grilled cheese?
- Hmmm, okay.
I know I'm just slave.
- Because in my mom's brain, there's only two scenarios
when it comes to me eating.
First, when she cooks for me.
I am so happy.
And second, when she doesn't.
Help.
Number five, FaceTime.
So, even though my parents struggle with technology a bit,
they've actually improved a lot.
They officially know how to FaceTime.
Like, we do it all the time.
They know how to call; they know how to hang up.
They understand FaceTime is not a service to book a facial.
Having said that,
there's still one thing they struggle with.
Hey Dad, how's it going?
- Hello Lilly?
- Dad, turn your screen.
- Huh? Okay.
Now do backwards.
- I know; turn your screen.
- All right, I dumb.
- No, you just have to turn your phone.
- Now do bloody sideways.
- Dad, you must have locked the screen somehow.
- Lock my screen.
My parakeet, you have key for screen lock?
- It's okay, I will turn my screen; don't worry.
- Okay, me too.
- No, you stay.
- I stay?
- Dad, stop turning the screen.
- Hello?
- I'm up in here getting motion sickness
from FaceTiming my parents.
Okay, FaceTiming my parents is a goddamn raid.
Okay, the whole experience is just one giant fidget spinner.
But yo, I wouldn't trade my parents for the world.
Parents are awesome, 'cause you know what?
No matter how annoying they are, trust me,
you 10 times more annoying.
Also, do you like the pin?
We're so close to hitting our goal
of 16,000 Rafikis and pins.
Girllove.com is where you can go.
October 11th is the campaign end.
Send girls to school in Kenya.
Information is in the description.
Okay, do the end card.
(laughs)
Hey you all, stop.
Don't go anywhere.
Don't you dare go anywhere.
First you gotta give us a thumbs up.
Do it; do it for a sister.
You want to see some more videos to this one?
Click right over there.
Second vlog, channel daily vlogs, it's lit.
Right over there.
Make sure you subscribe,
because they make new videos every Monday and Thursday.
One love, Superwoman, that is a wrap.
And zoop.