- I think you wanna swing the blade
towards you body.
Remember, body, blade.
- Yeah, I was gonna go like this.
- Swing it back.
- No, meet him half way with the wood.
You want the blade and the wood to meet each other
at the same time.
- Just swing with reckless abandon.
- Yes.
- Like a baseball?
Oh, I got you.
- Oh yeah, really wind up!
- Like a lumber jack kind of thing.
- Yeah, yeah.
And just use your finger.
Point exactly where I'm supposed to do it.
- Yeah man, that looks very natural.
- Yeah, and make sure you close your eyes, Max,
so you don't get any chips in your eye.
- All right, are you ready? - Show off!
- You guys ready?
- Oh, I'm ready. - Yeah!
(exhales)
(wood splintering)
- There we go!
- Now that's how you do it.
- Sweet cut. - Dude!
That is primal!
You see this, that's man stuff!
- Well look out, Paul Bunyan, there's a new sheriff in town.
(laughs)
- Hey, look at these lights.
Holy-moly, this looks great.
- Thank you, yeah.
I was inspired by my uncles chateau in Martha's Vineyard.
See, he strings these lights up
to deter prowlers from coming in,
but he only ever ends catching lovers
who are there to pursue my aunt.
- Yeah.
- Anyhoo.
You know, I feel like I kind of missed out
on all this outdoorsy stuff,
'cause I wasn't in Scouts or anything.
- Me too.
You know both my parents were banned for life
from the Scouts.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Well, I always wanted to work on my entrepreneur skills,
and sell those little cookies.
- That's Girl Scouts.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I'm 100% sure it's Girl Scouts.
- Okay, well I wanna be a Girl Scout.
- And that's wonderful.
- I actually miss like, sitting around the campfire
and telling spooky stories.
(laughs)
I don't know.
- I could tell you a scary story.
- No, you don't need to.
- No, I would love to.
I'm going to tell you guys a story so terrifying
that you're going to run into that little tent
like three scared little boys,
and I'm going to blow that tent down with more terror.
- All right, yeah. - Yeah.
- Yeah, go for it.
- One second, guys.
- Uncle Darren, initiate project blackout.
(dramatic thud)
- Woah.
- All right guys, everyone pick up your flashlights.
(clears throat)
(spooky piano music)
- I call this story "Last March".
(dramatic thud)
Last March, I was driving home from a wedding
when a man kept trying to pass me, so
I ran him off the road.
(tires squealing) (metal crunching)
He careened into a ditch.
The next day, the police found him badly injured
with three broken ribs and a shattered femur.
And he never knew who ran him off the road.
The end!
(exhales)
- Spooky, bro.
- I don't know if that was a classic spooker.
- Oh I'm sorry that a guy shattering his femur
and having to have it replaced with a metal rod
isn't scary enough for you, Chad.
- Well it's supposed to be about a ghost or something.
- It was like a ghost story.
I drove him off the road and then I ghosted him.
- You don think he was scared?
He was in a ditch
with broken ribs and a shattered femur bone.
- Yeah, that was the scariest 24 hours of his life.
- This feels like a real life thing that happened to you.
- Yeah, so many horror stories are based on true stories.
"Annabelle",
"Hocus Pocus",
"Haunting on Hillhouse",
"Scream",
- "It".
- Okay, all right.
Well, I guess.
- I actually have a spooky story too,
if that's cool with you guys?
Do you mind if I tell it?
- Oh yeah, awesome. - Yeah.
- Sure, yeah.
But I think the person telling the story
is the only one to have the flash light.
- Oh.
- Oh, my mistake.
- Oh.
- Hand that over to you.
- Thanks, dude.
- There we go.
- All right, is that good?
- Yeah. - Spooky?
- It's good.
- Okay.
(spooky piano music)
- So when I was 10,
my dad died.
(dramatic cymbals striking)
- Oh, terrifying.
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
- Is that it?
- Yeah, that's it!
My dad dying.
I was left without a male role model
between the ages of 10 to 14,
before my mom met Randy.
You don't think that's spooky?
- "Marley and Me" was about a dog dying,
but that wasn't a horror film.
- You comparing his dad to a dog dying?
- Yeah, come on, Chad.
- Dude, what is wrong with you?
And why don't you stop scare bullying me?
- Okay. - Yeah, you're ridiculous.
- Okay.
- He's 10 years old and now he's the man of the house.
That's scary!
He has to pay bills!
- Yeah, responsibilities you couldn't imagine, Chad,
with your silver spoon life.
- Yeah, with your alive dad.
- I don't think
you know what scary is, Chad.
I think you've got some sort of scare dyslexia.
- It's supposed to be about ghouls and goblins or--
- Yeah, his dad's a ghoul now.
- Also, there's nothing more scarier
than hearing some random guy banging your mom.
It was Greg for me.
And he banged my mom,
and we heard him through the wall,
and we was crying,
and she wouldn't let our cousins spend the night.
- I don't know, it's just a short one sentence spooker.
- The spookiest one sentence I could think of, dude.
- Okay, all right.
There's no build up, no suspense, but...
- Well, there's a lot of heartbreak.
- Forget him, man, that was super spooky.
- Thank you, Tommy.
- I got a spooky story.
- Oh! - Nice.
- Are you sure it's not just a passed event,
that's really depressing?
- No!
- You sure?
Okay.
(spooky piano music)
(exhales loudly)
- I have Crohn's disease.
(dramatic cymbals striking)
- That's terrifying.
- Oh my God, dude, is there--
- Okay... That's--
- Don't you dare chastise him
for telling a vulnerable, scary story.
- Okay.
- Can we help in any way?
- You can donate to my Crowdfunding campaign.
- Oh, are there perks?
- Yeah , you can go to doctors visits,
you can get stool samples.
- Ooh, can we watch you have surgery?
- It's full pledge, but yeah.
- That sounds expensive.
Max, you wanna go halves on that?
- Yeah, I'd love to do that.
- So when is you surgery?
- November.
- Oh that's not going to work for me.
Max? - Yeah.
- Are you good in December?
- December, yeah that should be fine.
- Great.
- Is that cool?
- We can do it on the 25th.
- That's great, Christmas Day.
- I'll be the present they're opening.
Ay, Chad,
I don't think this is what you were looking for, man.
Do you wanna tell a scary story?
- Ah, it's okay, doesn't matter.
- Come on, man, this whole thing was your idea.
If not for us, do it for my dead dad.
- Yeah, do it for his dead dad.
- Do it for his dead daddy.
- All right, I'll do it for your dead dad.
- Cool. - Thank you.
(spooky music)
- So,
it was a night just this,
in this exact same location,
where an escaped mental patient roamed campsites
and killed campers
one
by
one.
He blended in so well that no one knew who he was
but he had one characteristic that stood out,
he had a hook for a hand.
- I feel like people would immediately notice a hook
for a hand, right?
- Huh?
You guys didn't notice
this, did you?
(shouting)
It's just a story.
- You're a psycho.
You're the killer. It's you. - I didn't do anything.
I'm not a killer, guys!
Look, it's fake, it's fake.
(shouting)
- You're a psycho!
- Scariest murder--
(shouting)
- No, I'm not a murderer!
It's a story!
See for yourself!
- Put it down!
- That's how you tell a story!
- Real murder story!
(ominous music)
- Not worth it.