Translator: David DeRuwe
Up until two months ago, I was afraid of coming to school with glasses
because it reminded me of the time when I suffered bullying.
I found myself inside the classic “It can always get better,”
or “If I changed once, I can change again.”
Yes, I can be more intelligent, cooler, and more beautiful,
just like beauty standards and aesthetic pressures tell us to be.
This kind of thnking doesn’t let you sleep.
But one day I came to school with glasses, and something really weird happened:
The world didn’t end.
It seems silly that something so simple turned into such a big fear.
Have you ever fallen into this spiral?
Why do we let this happen?
Beauty is a very strong tool of power.
For example, Brazilian Lorrayne Mavromatis worked in a clothes store overseas,
and, when she was given the job to hire new people,
the job came with one very simple rule: “Always hire the prettiest one.”
So it really didn’t matter who had the best resume or the most experience;
it was about who had the brightest smile and the most symmetric face.
In this store, the workers were separated between models and packers.
Models worked in the front of the store; packers worked in the back.
What do you think differentiated a model from a packer?
Appearances, as always.
But Lorrayne promised that when she became the boss,
she would change this aesthetic policy.
And that’s what she did, always hiring the most qualified.
She said that sales exploded, and a family was formed.
This seems to be a very uncommon example.
This doesn’t happen much these days, but it should.
It’s remarkable when so many children are bullied in childhood or adolescence,
or between the ages of 11 and 12, as was my case, for example.
But make no mistake, bullying isn’t a phase of life;
it’s a set of terrible actions that corrupt an individual’s self-esteem.
That’s where the initial desire to change who you are comes from -
to distance yourself more and more from who you once were.
This need for change develops into an enormous search for approval
in various parts of your life, like, for example, the social part.
When you are treated differently, it soon becomes addictive.
“Wow! People notice me.
People who I didn’t matter to, all of a sudden, want to be close to me.
They want to get to know me.”
This way too, it’s very easy to fall for something that’s talked about a lot:
peer pressure, pressure from classmates.
Peer pressure functions like herd effect.
We do things we don’t agree with simply to get the group’s approval.
You can think: “This doesn’t happen to me,”
but how often have you done something only
because your friend or someone claiming to be your friend was doing it?
One never knows.
Academics.
We are so attached to the physical and the concrete
that grades and numbers on a sheet of paper
seem like the only way to prove our intelligence.
Now at least I know better, but this was stuck in my head,
and in this way, perfectionism grows exponentially.
We want to have good grades. We want our teachers to notice us.
After all, this is what it always breaks down to - appearances.
Family.
My own mom hasn’t known for years what goes on inside my own classroom
until I had to put together this presentation today.
Here’s a tip:
It’s not worth living in the shadow of your problems and insecurities.
I thought that nobody understood me - the famous “nobody understands me.”
Everybody has heard this.
They think it’s just teen drama, but I say “nobody understands me”
is much more a problem when it starts taking you away from the ones you love.
So again, don’t hesitate to find help.
It may seem like nobody understands you,
but I guarantee there are people who are interested and will help.
In the midst of so much change, information, and stress,
we come up to today.
My beauty was treated in such a superficial way
that this created an insecurity that the Isabella of four years ago,
before all this, didn’t have -
an insecurity in respect to my own personality,
which never seemed to matter much to those who treated me as different ...
because I was different.
Now I have fear.
Yes, fear of being ordinary.
I feel like I have to prove myself;
prove my intelligence;
prove that I’m more than simply a face and that my beauty isn’t superficial;
and prove that I’m an interesting person, once you know me beyond what I look like.
Well, until reaching this conclusion, I experienced so many absurdities,
from people calling me weird and laughing at me in my face
to lying themselves down on seats next to me just so I wouldn’t sit next to them.
I experienced this.
As I said, bullying is not an adolescent invention.
That’s why I’m here today to warn you that this discrepancy due to appearances
is much more common than we think, and sometimes it happens without noticing.
But those who suffer from the way beauty is treated superficially
can be marked forever,
with anxiety, eating disorders, depression, and cognitive difficulty.
For these people, I have a tip:
Other people’s approval will never be enough,
so don’t try to attain it.
Be thankful for yourself.
Centimeter by centimeter, try to win your own acceptance.
I know this isn’t easy.
I myself still have a long road in front of me,
but I’m ready, step by step, to improve this, day by day.
This doesn’t mean that I’m coming to school tomorrow wearing glasses.
Thank you very much.
(Applause)