- We've get a new world's longest tail,
and some bidet controversy.
- Let's talk about that.
(groovy theme music)
Good mythical morning.
- It's Wednesday again friends, and that means
it's Whatever Wednesday, that's what we're doing
in Season 11, where on Wednesday we talk about
whatever we want to, it might be a couple of things
that interest us that might interest you, whatever.
- Well I'm interested in this,
it's finally happened.
We knew it was gonna happen, sooner or later,
and the day has come.
Finnegan has been dethroned.
- Is that like a Welsh king?
- You know who Finnegan is, he's the Irish wolfhound
who held the record for the world's longest dog tail.
- Oh, that Finnegan!
- Yes, there is now a new reigning king
of the world's largest dog tail, longest dog tail.
- Cause the largest is different.
It could be like a six-inch tail that's this big around.
- It is 1.7 inches longer than Finnegan's,
this is on the backside of Keon, also an Irish wolfhound.
- Come on people, Keon, really?
- In Belgium.
- It's like the name of a car that Dodge
would have made in 1998.
- No, this dog looks like a Keon, look at him.
It's like a, well it's like a fluffy car
with a tail on the end of it.
- [Rhett] Might have a little horse in him.
- His tail measures 30.2 inches long from the top
of the bone to the tip of the bone,
not including the hair, you can't be measuring the hair
for a Guinness world record, this is certified.
- Bone to bone people.
- And just to help you appreciate what 30.2 inches
looks like, I'm gonna.
- Whatever visual aid you have prepared.
- I'm gonna whip this out, look at this.
This is how long Keon's tail is.
That is a reasonable size flat-screen television.
- Not anymore.
- Measured diagonal, reasonable.
- Not in 2017, unless you're gonna like sit 10 feet from it.
- I didn't say an awesome size, you know.
If this were 14 inches longer, he could,
his tail could ride Space Mountain.
- Here's the thing, I mean, I guess I'm impressed.
- The longest human tail in the world
is only seven inches long.
- This isn't about that.
- It's vestigial, but.
- What I think I've learned from this
is that you watching out there,
- Grab that again.
- Just might have a dog that,
- That's the anus, that's the dog anus, right there.
- Why do I got to be the anus end?
- Because I decided.
- Listen, it's impressive but I think that there's
probably a dog out there, in fact, I'd be willing
to bet my life that this is not actually the world record.
There's some dog out there that has a tail that's longer
than this, but the guy's just like, yeah, my dog's
got a long tail, but I never thought to break out
the measuring tape and measure it.
- You think that there's a guy,
- Guaranteed - with a dog,
- Could be a woman. - laying under his feet
with a tail this long and he hasn't called Guinness?
- Yeah, and they're like, Gary's got a really,
he's got, see the tail the on Gary's dog.
He's like, yeah, it's the longest in town,
he doesn't know it's the longest in the world.
Gary, break out the measuring tape
and join the ranks of dethroning Keon.
- So that's our challenge, we want to go ahead
and dethrone Keon, so he's getting
like 15 minutes of fame, literally?
- Yeah, that's what I'm all about.
- Alright.
- Okay, how bout this, it has come to our attention
that apparently Bob Dylan's grandson is hot.
We have not see him yet, but we're about to.
He's not a guest, we're gonna look at a picture.
- [Link] Okay, there he is.
His face is symmetrical.
- [Rhett] Yeah, his, he's got something good going on
with his hair, I'll give him that much.
- Sure, okay, he's attractive.
- I'm willing to acknowledge that he's a good-looking guy.
Okay, the Japanese toilet industry has agreed
to standardize complex bidet controls.
Now this may not seem like the kind of thing that would
interest us, or interest you, but as of a recent trip
that we took together to Hawaii, a family vacation
that we took together, this has become
very important in our lives.
You may have known this, I think we did tell someone
somewhere on the internet that we were gonna
be taking a Hawaiian vacation over Thanksgiving together,
so it wasn't just the two of us.
- Our families were also there.
- We took our families.
- And I stayed in a room with my family,
and you stayed in a room with your family.
- Except that one night.
- What?
So each of our separate rooms had,
there was a bidet is what you're getting at.
- Well, there was a complex Japanese-made toilet,
which had a bidet.
Now I remember sitting down on this thing
and seeing a remote control mounted on the wall.
- This was my first time.
- Oh, mine too.
Next to the toilet. - Because we're Americans.
- And I gotta say what I did is I pressed
every single button on this thing and experienced
everything that that toilet had to offer.
It had different temperatures for the seat,
it had different temperatures for the water
that was shot into my (silly sound), and it also had,
- Into it?
- Well, onto it, and it also had different pressures,
and then I could move it around,
move it forward, move it back, I could hit the male button,
hit the female button, I had a lot of fun.
- You pressed the female button?
- Yes, why not?
- I didn't, I was like, well, I didn't push that,
it didn't even occur to me.
- I wanted to see what would happen.
- Because it said female, what happened?
- I'm not complaining about what happened,
I don't want to share that.
- What happened?
- Water shot in a different place, man.
I mean, that's, what are the possibilities, really?
- A frontal place.
- But listen, but now all of that is being taken care of.
The confusion that I experienced in the exploration
that I experienced with my body and this remote control
has all been taken care of because the Japanese
toilet people got together and said we gotta standardize
this, and they've come up with eight different icons,
you can see this picture, look how proud they are of this.
This is their life's work, these men got together
and came up with these different icons to help people
like me, who are visiting countries where there are
Japanese toilets, to understand what was going on.
- It took twice as many men as there are icons
to come up with the icons.
- Just about, yeah.
And they're not all intuitive.
- Here's my thing, if you pushed all the buttons,
and experienced all the surprises associated with it,
then you've proven that we don't need this.
We don't need standardization to take away
the element of bidet surprise.
- I think the way that you should enjoy it,
- I did push one button, and all of the sudden
it was like hot air, it was like a blow dryer down there.
- Yeah, that, well you gotta do that every time,
I did that every time.
- It dried it off.
- And you can change the temperature,
I went cold and hot.
- You did it all,
- I did it all, - and you didn't know
what was gonna happen.
- and then rest of the trip, I didn't just
figure out my settings, I continued to experiment.
Every time I sat down, I moved that thing all around
and got the air going, just a nice a little breeze,
and just blew myself right out.
- And we have video of it, right?
- No we don't, but I think that part of the bidet
enjoying process is figuring this out on your own.
We don't need a committee in Japan to come up
with standardized icons, we need the experience
of water and air being blown into our booty, just,
- Randomly - randomly to figure out
the system ourselves.
That's what I prefer.
- The best part of a bidet is the surprise
of what it's gonna give you, don't take that from us.
That is our position, this is a bad thing.
- Alright, how bout some news from our hometown,
Buies Creek, North Carolina.
Big new, big news this weekend for the family.
This Friday, January 27, there is a Shrek family
movie night at seven p.m. at Total Body Therapy & Wellness,
that is located at 2 The Square in Lillington,
that is an address, 2 The Square.
- The Square is the strip mall that has the Food Lion in it.
- The new Food Lion or the old Food Lion?
- The older Food Lion, not the Food Lion
next to Mi Casitas, but the one on the other end of town.
- The one that was a Piggly Wiggly and then burned down?
- No, that's the, that was, that's nothing now,
I don't know what that is.
I'm talking about the one,
- The one behind the Burger King?
- The one behind the Burger King, it has the video,
it had the video store beside it
that Amanda Stansell worked at.
- Yeah, she worked there, she never gave us any free videos.
- Nope, and now I think that's the fitness center.
- Okay, well that's where it's gonna be.
You are encouraged to bring your pillow and blankets,
although listen, no funny business
under the blankets, this is Shrek.
- Are you making it weird, or are they making it weird?
- I'm just letting you know, I remem, yeah, I mean,
- Don't remember anything.
- I'm not remembering anything, admission $2 per person,
$4 for a family of four, that's quite a deal.
If you have any questions, you can contact Krystal,
with a K, at Total Body Therapy, she has all the answers.
- Is that Krystal H?
- I don't know, I don't know if it's the same Krystal,
that was Crystal with a C.
Now over to Link with the weather.
- Alright, let's get our weather on, shall we?
Here it is, over here, I'm getting that wrong again.
Alright, look, it's gonna be a little rainy tomorrow,
so get weather-proofed, but then the next day,
leading up to Shrek, we're talking 53 degrees,
now I'd recommend wearing pants, probably a jacket,
unless you're one of those people that always
wears shorts no matter what temperature it is.
- I don't respect those people.
- I don't understand, I'm cold-nature,
I don't understand that, but you also need to take
into account what you, I wouldn't wear shorts
to the Shrek thing, even though it's at a fitness center.
- Well there are gonna be blankets, though.
- Don't do it, well, yeah.
- You can wear what you want to,
the blanket will keep you warm.
- Wear pants during the day, shorts to the Shrek
if you're gonna be using the blanket.
And then the rest of the week, it's amazing.
- You think they got permission from Dreamworks
to publicly display Shrek?
- I think we, you have to ask Krystal.
- Okay, I'm sure she knows.
- Okay, now let's take a look at some footage
of a couple that's had an argument make up.
There they are.
- Okay, he looks over, she looks, maybe,
maybe we should, yeah we should.
- What?
- We should make up, make out, no, peck.
That was very sweet.
Thanks for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- I'm Pete from Atlanta, Georgia,
it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- This morning at nine a.m. Pacific, noon Eastern,
we're gonna be doing a live choose what we does
broadcast on the Rhett and Link Instagram,
where you can help determine what is going to happen
on our Instagram, so go over there and check it out.
- Also go over to Good Mythical More by clicking through,
where we're gonna talk more about, uh, Bob Dylan's grandson.
- Yeah we are.
- We're not at the bottom of that one yet.
- Don't Google That, this is very, very simple.
We're gonna tell you something that
you should definitely not Google,
you do not want to see this, but we're gonna
tell you what you should not Google, and that something is
- [Together} Ballerina Feet.
- Don't Google that.
- Do not Google it.
- [Link] Click on the left to watch our show
after the show, Good Mythical More.
- [Rhett] Click on the right to watch
another episode of Good Mythical Morning.
- [Link] And click the circular channel icon to subscribe.
- [Rhett] Thanks for being your mythical best.