- You can't hold on to things
that are no longer serving you,
and this is what I'm always trying to share with people
because you honestly, it does not help you
to be holding on to things so tight
because you can't let them go.
Yes, it is painful, yes, it is sad, but in the end,
it's good to let things go when it is time to move on.
So I'm editing this video right now,
and I am realizing there were a lot of things
I want to interject here
because it was kind of emotional when I was filming it.
So if this is your first time here, my name is Robyn.
I help overwhelmed people simplify their lives
so that they can really start living them.
Now this one stung a lot,
and I will never go back to this house,
and this time it was actually pretty heartbreaking.
Now people think that for me, letting go is always easy.
On my videos, they will say wow, I wish it was so easy,
but honestly, it isn't always easy,
or they think that if it's hard to let something go
that you shouldn't, and that is also not true.
So I want to talk today about letting go
of a very sentimental item for me,
and hopefully it will help you learn
to let go of sentimental items, things, whatever,
in the future as well.
So we're really going to get into how letting go
of a sentimental item, sometimes you need
to actually really spend time and process things,
and just to come to terms with that, you need to let it go
because some things you really, really shouldn't keep,
and this is an example of that.
Now I remember when the conversations started arising
about letting this go,
but my brain honestly could not go there.
Me, the minimalist, was like no, I'm not,
we're not letting this go.
Now this was the most stable,
constant house that I had known for the last 29 years.
I remember family get-togethers there, people on the deck,
the food, the laughing, the smoke,
the memories of grandpa laughing.
I mean, when my grandpa would laugh, it was just amazing,
like you knew it was so funny,
just the thought of him laughing.
Now my brother, my cousins and I,
we would play in the hot tub downstairs
and then we would get out,
we would play a game of pool and then we would watch movies.
We had so much fun,
and it was kind of like the type of house
where the kids just go in the basement
and you're not exactly forgotten about,
but the adults are having fun upstairs
with the other adults, so it's good.
It's fun down there.
So there are a lot of memories associated with this house.
Some of them go way back
and some of them just carried right on through,
and the ultimate in a cozy house,
I mean really cozy, warm, inviting.
I mean at Christmas it was honestly magical.
Grandma's decorating was whimsical.
Her baking was beyond delicious,
and thank God for a child's metabolism I had at the time.
That's all I have to say.
Yeah, like it just really sticks with me.
Like this house is, it feels like it's a part of me.
And of course I knew this house wouldn't always be with us,
like obviously, but to be honest, I'm kind of surprised
we even had it in our house as long as we did.
I think that this really is a good example
of the Swedish death cleaning,
fear of death instinct that Margareta Magnusson talks about,
and I mention this all the time because to me,
these really hit home for me,
the clutter instinct, the hoarding instinct,
but this in particular, the fear of death instinct,
this is when it's really hard
to let go of sentimental things,
and this house is a perfect example of that.
Like for me, I am having to basically let go of my childhood
during this process even though I'm like in my forties,
but also letting go of my grandparents
and what their life was, and all of the other things.
So a few years ago, the dreary, Vancouver Island,
dark winter started really affecting my grandpa more,
and he would be much better in the summer,
but in the winter it was really getting to him,
and he started not feeling well,
and he had started having trouble word finding,
and he would call me my mom's daughter,
like he couldn't remember my name sometimes.
But funny like people with Alzheimer's,
they kind of have a way of like working around it,
and he's such a smart guy that you wouldn't even notice it
if you didn't think about it.
So as a nurse, though,
I just have a way of accepting changes like this
and I sort of just keep my distance
from the feelings involved, honestly.
Like I know, these things happen and you're just sort of,
like as a nurse you're like yeah,
this is what's happening and.
So grandpa started not eating well,
and he was getting really skinny,
and my mom started suggesting
that they might want to move to a seniors building
where the food was provided amongst other things
because then they could be more like taken care of,
and more healthy, and it would be easier for them
not to be dealing with the stress of the house.
So again, I thought no, this is their house,
they should stay here and help can come in,
and honestly I did talk to colleagues about this
and they said no, it is good often
if people can just get like help to come in,
and bring food, and get house cleaners and stuff,
but it just wasn't working out
and Alzheimer's, it just is,
unfortunately the thing about Alzheimer's is no matter what,
it is a decline, and although you can slow it down,
it can't be stopped.
Now, then COVID hit.
Now this is not all depressing, so hang tight with me.
But then COVID hit, so we all wanted
to keep them safe in their house, obviously,
and of course busy me, I visited them even less
than I already had been before,
of course, because of COVID, but.
So this spring, my mom and her sisters,
along with my grandparents decided to sell the house
and that they would move into an apartment
with all of the amenities.
So they had a couple of realtors come by, and again,
like you're just sort of like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I honestly I didn't, I thought this would take a while.
Like any time we've sold our house, it took a while.
But I remember when the sign went up in early August
and I was caught a little bit off guard, honestly,
and I remember waking up in the middle of the night, though,
and I could not fall back asleep because I was like,
that house will be gone soon,
and I honestly, I didn't even realize how much
or how permanent that would be though.
So pretty much I was coming to the realization
that the time in the house for our family was over.
It wasn't going to go on forever
even though it had felt like it was going to forever.
And within just a few days they had three offers,
and they sold it over their asking price,
so that was good for them,
but the possession date was in one month,
and so my mom and her sisters worked very hard
at packing the house.
I offered to help but they wanted to be the ones
that were sorting all the stuff, which is fine,
and that is another story,
and we will talk about that in things in weeks to come
about how to deal with all of the stuff.
But for now let's just say it was a lot of stuff,
a lifetime of stuff and we will be talking about it.
But it was crazy to go into their house
and just look at the cabinet where I used to lay
in front of when I was a kid,
like eight years old listening to Christmas music,
and I can still remember the sound of like
the kind of the magnet of this cabinet closing.
So this was actually the process
where I really started realizing
that it was time to let it go
and I mentally just naturally started letting it go.
You will let things go.
It might not feel like you will be able to, but you will.
You don't need to keep a lot of things.
I mean, for me, I don't get crazy sentimental,
but for some things I do, and this is an example of that.
So when I walked through the house for the last time,
I remember saying goodbye to every room, and I took videos,
but I have to say, though,
I felt less sad than I thought I would,
and this, see the thing.
Like things had changed in their house.
They grew older.
We all grew older, and you can't recapture what is lost.
So holding on to the house
when it was no longer serving any of us
would not have been fair to anyone,
not to my grandparents, my mom, my aunts,
like myself even, like no one.
It doesn't serve anyone, not the house.
And the memories from their house are my memories,
and I can honestly say that no house had
or probably will ever hold such intense,
strong memories for me.
And this is an example
of why keeping this sentimental thing would be a mistake.
Keeping this house would be a mistake,
like so many other things are.
You need to keep these things in mind
when you are decluttering.
Does it serve you?
Is it good in the longterm?
And I don't live in the house
that we brought our babies home to.
My parents, they moved on from their house,
but I have all of those memories.
I don't need things.
I now don't have my grandparents' house anymore.
There was unfortunately a bit of a falling out
with the people that bought it,
and so I don't see myself going back there,
but in all honesty, I don't want to.
You can't hold on to things forever.
I feel at peace now,
maybe just a little sad, but I do feel at peace,
and the thing is like,
you can't keep things that aren't serving you.
That house was not serving them.
And I make this sound all about me,
but I just wanted to share my part of the story.
It's just so interesting
how eventually I started making peace with things,
and I did not even realize it
but it just started happening naturally,
and then I was able to let it go.
You can't hold on to things that are no longer serving you,
and this is what I'm always trying to share with people
because you honestly, it does not help you
to be holding on to things so tight
because you can't let them go.
Yes, it is painful, yes, it is sad, but in the end,
it's good to let things go when it is time to move on.
So even if it's just something small
and you're like this isn't serving me anymore,
you got to let it go,
or if it's something as big and as important
as a precious childhood home, you need to let it go
when the time to let it go comes.
So, I hope that this helps bring you peace
for how to let things go.
I have this video here about sentimental items,
and this is my Christmas playlist,
because Christmas is coming up
and I wanted to share this story
because I know I will be talking about this
a lot in the coming weeks.
So anyway, I will chat with you soon.
Have a great day.
Bye.