When a man feels like he's found the one
it inspires him to be a better man.
Not because she technically
has to make him be a better man
but because his love for her, his desire for her
makes him want to be better for her.
Because he wants to be able to pour into her
and provide for her in a way that shows her
how much she means to him.
So, how does this man even know that she's the one
and I know it's a question that a lot of women ask.
Number one he stops caring about other women.
So, again I've seen the biggest players
meet a woman and want to turn in their player card
he's like I’m retired
or how my boys would say it yo,
retire my jersey
put it in the raptors I’m done.
I’m leaving the game
I know what I want, I've found her
I'm good, all right.
So, when I say stop caring about other women
let me be a little bit more specific or detailed,
it doesn't mean he stops being attracted
to other women, all right.
He's still going to find women...
He may still find women beautiful that he sees
that doesn't necessarily go away
because he found the one.
But his care to get her attention
his desire to pursue that,
his concern with what this woman thinks whatever
if he's been dealing with certain women
he doesn't care enough
he cares more about this woman
that he now believes can be the one
than what they have to say about him
and if he has to let them go
he's prepared to do that
because he ain't going to mess up
what he got with her
for these women that he never...
And I said this respectfully
I'm trying to say respectfully
he didn't hold him in high regard to begin with, okay.
And so when that man starts to notice like
and I'll say this I do think that
if he's a man who already wasn't into
you know being out there talking to women
it may not hit him as hard
as it does the guy who is out there.
The guy who is out there
when that, the one smacks him in the face
it hits hard because to go from
this pursuit of various women
to just yo, I just want her right now
that's like I want to say
a rude awakening but it's like,
it's just like a wake-up call, it's a wake-up call.
Rude awakening sounds bad for some reason to me
but it's a wake-up call
and yeah, it's very obvious when he experiences that
and so that automatically makes him feel like dang
I think this is it, I think this is it
when I can give up the rest for this
that means a lot.
So, yeah, when he stops caring
about other women.
All right, so now the second thing or reason
or way that a man know,
men know that she's the one
is just based on how she makes him feel.
Now, I said it like this
and I’m going to get a little bit more detail
in some of the other further points
but I say like this because
there are going to be men who cannot
or even articulate what it is
it's just man, it's just something about her.
It's just the way I feel around her
and he may not understand exactly
how to break that down
but essentially it boils down to
she makes him feel good,
she makes him feel excited,
she makes him feel inspired.
You know what I’m saying, it just draws him in
you know what I’m saying.
And again, there's some other detailed things
I'll mention a little bit later
but just that general feeling
and again, I think
women sometimes underestimate life
and I think as a woman no.
You've probably experienced it too where
you can meet 10 great guys right
and they have great qualities
and you can actually enjoy them
you might be able to get along with them.
But they don't make you feel
you know what I’m saying like
they don't hit you in that way
and then you meet this one guy and sometimes
the guy who makes you feel this way
he may not even have
all the qualities the other guys had.
Like it may not even make complete sense
you might be able to on paper say
but this guy has this, this, and this
but with this guy I just feel something
I don't feel anywhere else
you know what I'm saying.
So, it's you're not always able
to fit it into the box
that you thought it would fit into
and again I explained that
so you can relate to how it happens to men as well.
How sometimes it doesn't even fit the box he wanted
now what's hit in my spirit
I feel the need to mention
because an issue that a lot of women have is
sometimes you get with a guy
and just work with me here
let's say the guy loves big breasts, okay.
He's a breast man and he meets you
and like I said sometimes the one
doesn't fit the box that we had in our head.
So, let's just say
you ain't a big breasted woman, all right.
You got maybe decent-sized
maybe you got... Barely got any,
doesn't matter it's all beautiful
I’m just saying
it doesn't match
what he typically goes after, right.
Now, initially you may not be aware of
this difference, this variation
in what he likes versus what you have
but again he still believes
or feels or is certain you are the one
and what I can tell you is
when we feel that we've met the one
we are much more flexible with
our desires and requirements.
We're much more willing to give a pass
on certain things, all right.
So, where the women that
he would just maybe sleep with
had to have big breasts
he's willing to let you slide
because there's more to you
than just that for him, right.
But the reason why I’m bringing this up is because
then you get with this man
and you start noticing
that he keeps looking at big breasted women
and you're like
well, if that's what you like why are you with me?
And it makes you feel some kind of way
it makes you feel like you're inadequate.
And I want you to understand
no, it's not you’re inadequate
it doesn't mean that he doesn't like you
doesn't mean that you know he doesn't appreciate
you and your body as it is.
It's just that yes sometimes he may like this thing
but because he loves you
because you're the one to him
he doesn't need you to have that, all right.
Now, let me just say
there's going to be some things that
people don't want to go without regardless, right.
But again there are certain things
that we may have preferences for
that we realize are not that important
when we feel like we've met the one.
So, I simply lay that out because again
I see so many women
going through this battle
of insecurity or questioning
what's really going on here
if he keeps looking at that kind of woman
when I look like this, right.
And it's like no if he embraced you as you are
and this man is pouring into you
and being the man that you need
don't question his attraction to you
just because he looks at...
I mean just because he had liked.
I'm just not going to give a free pass
to just be looking everywhere.
I’m just trying to help
bring clarity to that disconnect
that sometimes happens, all right.
Because there's a greater love that exists
between you and that man.
All right, so let's move along to number three
and speaking of big breasts
(Laughs)
this one's about his attraction to you, okay.
Now, again piggy backing off
what I was just talking about
please understand that there's looks
and then there's attraction.
Looks is when we have desires
for very specific things
but sometimes attraction
we can find ourselves attracted to someone
who does not fit that exact criteria
but the attraction is still
extremely strong, all right.
And I do believe that for men typically
that strong attraction plays a huge role in him
viewing or believing I found the one, all right.
Again, even though she may not look exactly
how he would have perfectly drawn it up
he is so attracted to this woman
that to him is like this is it, all right.
Now, of course should attraction be the only thing
that a man goes off of?
Absolutely not
I will make the argument though that
there are men who...
I hate to use this word but I'm going to use it
less evolved
and get so blinded by attraction
that they overlook all that's missing
and will still think she can be the one
like I've literally seen men say
man I think she's it but she treats you like crap
like the relationship is your...
It's a mess
and yet his infatuation through attraction
blinds him from that reality.
So, that's how powerful it can be
but outside of those types of situations
I do think that ultimately yes,
a man is going to evaluate like how...
Because if he does not feel
strongly attracted to her
he is less likely to believe she is the one.
Now, something else just hit my spirit
and again, you know whenever I say things
I say it with love
I ain't trying to hurt nobody's feelings
I’m trying to make you all feel some kind of way
but I have to give you all
honest to God truth, right.
An example of how strong the attraction is a factor
in seeing a woman as the one
and please just listen, okay.
I had a client and she's a plus size woman, okay.
And I forgot how right now I'm drawing a blank
how we got to the situation
but the bottom line of the story was
she had a really good friend
I think I made a comment to her about
getting to a healthier weight
or getting to a place
where she feels more confident
and then her revealing to me that
the friend said to her
he was like man if you were just 20 pounds less
you know,
I would want to make things happen with you.
Now, listen
I know some of you are disgusted
by that, all right.
And think it's horrible that
the 20 pounds would be the difference maker
or be disgusted by that
he even said that to her, okay.
Let's not dwell on that point for right now.
I brought up that example to simply show you how
that was the one thing
that was separating his willingness
to embrace her as yo, like at the very least
if not the one, the woman that
I would want to be with, okay.
Because then he said
if 20 pounds less you would be perfect
and that's how important
attraction is for so many men.
What we're talking about
viewing a woman as the one
or someone that they're going to actually marry
and spend their life with.
All right, so now we're on to number four
and this one is one of the details of
the how she makes him feel point
and the fourth way that he knows she's the one
or feels she's the one
is because she brings him peace.
Now, I've literally have sat down with men
who when I asked them
how did you know
or what made you feel like this was the woman?
They literally said
whenever I’m around her
I just feel this peace come over me, all right.
So, I do think that one,
I view that from a very spiritual level
I think that there is something that happens spiritually
when we meet that person
that we just feel this breath of fresh air.
This peace this feeling
that we don't feel with everybody else.
But then I would go even further
from a non-spiritual perspective and say
but it's also the woman who
actually brings him peace,
who doesn't bring him drama,
who's not stressing him out
that makes that man
more drawn to that kind of woman
and of course,
when other things are in place as well
but that peace factor is huge, okay.
Now, I know some of you all are saying
why we got to be his peace?
Can he be our peace too?
Of course, you all should be each other's peace
but I’m just explaining
how the man's going to evaluate
the situation, all right.
So, definitely her ability to bring peace
but his ability to feel peace in her presence
is a huge factor in him viewing her as
this is the one for me.
Hey, thank you for watching this video.
Be sure to check this one out right here
and I'll see you there.
Wouldn't it be so nice
if you could see a guy that you want
be able to verify if he actually is a good guy
look at his relationship facts
maybe so to speak, right.