*High Five* top of the morning you ladies my name is
jacksepticeye and welcome to the St.
Patrick's Day quiz where we're going to
figure out how much we actually know
about st. Patrick's Day or if I'm just a
big sham-y bastard of an Irishman that
doesn't know anything! The moon is out again I
can see it through my blinds! That's a good sign.
They say when the moon is out and
you're doing a St. Patrick's day quiz
the Lord will shine upon you so yeah
it's late um and I got a bottle of
Jameson here with me if you want to
focus there we go that's about
as Irish as it gets. Irish whiskey triple
distilled. I'm a bit more of a single
malt type of whiskey myself um I don't
fucking know anything about whiskey
normally I don't drink whiskey at all so
we're gonna spice things up a bit this time
and we're going to take a shot for every
question that I get wrong which will
likely be a lot of them because I know
fuck all about St. Patrick or the
history of Ireland or the history of
anything actually now that I'm mentioning it
But its gonna be fun! There's a day in
it and we're going to have some great
fucking craic also remember what I said
green on your body or BAYTINS!! Yeah, you
got it? Okay, good! Alrighty, 10 questions
surely I can get above fifty percent
above 75 percent, that'd be ideal, but is
it going to happen... probably not so what
was St. Patrick's real name? Ah fffffffffffffuck.
Should I just- should I just down the bottle as it is right now? O-h oh nooo
I have no idea. His name wasn't Patrick? His first
name wasn't Saint and his last name wasn't
Patrick? It's like Jim Fitzmorris.
Saint Patrick. Oh God okay so all the first
names are the same and I think St.
Patrick came from Britain… so Succat?
Hey, I got it right!
It was either Succat or Sucson. Soffone
sounds a bit French and he not a fucking Frencherdoo
When did St. Patrick come to Ireland?
Ah, ballserooney. Right, St. Patrick came to Ireland, uh…
So there's two 400 dates so I'm gonna guess 432.
Hahahaha
Oh, it looks like the luck of the Irish
is with Jack today! Two for two! I actually
don't know these at all those are
some really lucky guesses. What color was
originally associated with Saint Patrick?
Now, my body and my brain and my mind would
like to go to number one greeniedoo but
it could be something completely
different *hmmm* I don't think it would be red, red
wasn't a very nice color especially to
associate with, like, hope and banishing
of snakes, well maybe that's what snakes
are scared of red… like bulls.
Um… I'ma go with purple?
Ahh, fuck, it was blue! Ah, shite balls!
How was I supposed to know that?!
Paddy, what are you doing to me?! Fucking… okay.
Time for a shot. Are y'all- oh god
Oh, that's premium Irish whiskey right there! Oh-hoho *Irish Santa?*
Should I do like Felix's, ah, Instagram story things?
Oh yeah. See, normally people would
just like sup on this, they just take
a little supp in their mouth just [smacks lips] and this is
what happens. This is- I'm still sick and everyone
will be like, "Jack, no, don't drink
alcohol when you're sick," but this is what-
This is what Mommy used to do.
She'd be at home and she'd be like, "Ah, you're sick.
Ah, poor pet," and she'd give you a little sup a whiskey
and ye'd be grand as you go to bed
Whoo-hoo! Oh that's the shtuff! Oh, beys!
That'll put a fuckin' fire in your belly.
Hoho! Drought in the middle of Winter oh that's- oh
[laughs] giving me hiccups
*I can just smell it from here* Okay! Why do we celebrate St. Patrick's Day
on the seventeenth of March?
It's the day he was born. No, it wasn't.
It's the day he came to Ireland. No, it wasn't.
It's the day he died. Yes!
Or we flipped a coin to choose between that and the 18th of March.
That would have been a good idea but I'm
pretty sure it's the day he died.
Everybody dance now *insert 90's dance scene here*
When did the first St. Patrick's Day parade take place in New York City?
Fuck!
How am I supposed to know? Do I look like a New York City?
Do I look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?
No, I was over here in fucking…
rainy old Ireland minding me
own business drinking me own fucking Jameson
which, by the way, tastes delicious
there's a lot of- there's a lot of whiskies out there
and some of them taste like absolute bog water
filtered through an old lady's arse hairs!
That's good stuff. Oh, goes down smooth *bye*
Okay, so there's 2- oh wait there's 2 and 2
I was gonna say two 1700 dates, uh…
I don't think it was this late, I think it was this early
1762 or 1798 *mouth noises*
Ugh, are the rest of the questions this hard? Ahhh 1798.
Fuck! I knew it was one or the other come on
Come on, [claps] Jack [slaps] get your head in the game what are
you some kind of fucking fake Irishman
like everyone actually thinks you are!?! No!
I am a real Irishman haha top of the
mornin to ya
oh ho-ho ho it puts a tingle in me Winkle oh
wait for it... and then it hits your belly
oh that's the fire that you need oh just
go all goes down smooth sure Jaysus it
came out the pussy drinking whiskey
question uh six clare's oldest
Patrick
Patrick Pakie Wall ha ha good man
Pakie Jaysus christ by the way that's why we
say Paddy's Day because Patrick over
here you call him Paddy that why they
always like don't call Irishman paddies
it's like...I don't know what you'd fuckin'
liken it too, I could probably liken it to
something but then I'd end up sounding
really racist and I don't want to do that
*awkward laugh* so that Patrick and that's why
everyone is calling it PaTTies day cause like there's
no 'D' in Patrick. We're the Irish people
we know what do! Um..good man Pakie
Grand Marshal at the end of st.
Patrick's Day parade how old is he?
How old is this quiz? 2016 okay this is last
year good man Patrick Pakie Wall I'm
going to guess that my man Pakie is... well
I'd love to say 99 but Irishmen don't
live that long not-not as long as the
women there are some women in Ireland who
reach fucking hundreds uh me-me granny god
bless us and save us she reached 91 or was it
92 I think she was close to 92
Um but the Irish men they probably die a
lot sooner cuz' a this.*jackaboy giggle*
Uh yeah that this-this is
me all over right now. Uhhm how old is he I'm
going to guess that my man fucking
Pakie's not 92 or 99 I'm going to guess that he's 95
PAKIE my bro from another mo
you're 97??? *clap* Big ups can't even be mad at
that can't even be angry at that Pakie put it right there
pound it bro
pound it yeah that's
what you say to a man who's 97 pound it
bro but walking to his fucking funeral
home be like suh dude
I'll be kicked out immediately. Oro se do Bheatha 'Bhaile
oro se do Bheatha abhaile oro *drinks* se do Bheatha 'Bhaileeee
anois ar theacht an tsamhraidh!... oh WOO yeah! *burp*
oh man that's a good time right there *laugh*
that'll clear out the sinuses that'll
clear out your bowels hahaha ok... man not
a whiskey drinker Jesus. Which coun- couuuntry,
not County which country is known as the
Emerald Isle of Caribbean and also has a
public holiday on the seventeenth of March?
Dude I couldn't even mention the
Caribbean islands I don't even know what
fucking... what islands are in that I
assume these uhmm Belize, Dominican
Republic, Monserrat or the British Virgin
isles... Oh see I would like to go with the
British Virgin Isles because
Ireland Britain St.Patrick came from
Britain didn't he? I don't know hopefully theres not
a question about that *laugh* oh god oh right think about
this think about this... I have no fucking
idea I want to go to British Virgin Isles or
the Dominican Republic I've never heard
about montserrat until now, well did I?
I don't know, why I am I asking you? You
can't fuckin' answer uhmm british virgin
islands... Montserrat?! Come on man I don't
know the Caribbean isles fucking
festivities turn on notifications on my
watch. No! Stop! Okay maybe I will turn
them on maybe I'll get a little message
and then it'll be like hey, look! Even though I yeah cool
me phone was was buzzin' right? Put that down
and away we go we need to take
another shot there's a shot what how
many did i get wrong? One two three four...
...three right and four wrong I'm not coming
out as average well you know what that's
just my fucking school life all over
isn't it, it's not about being the best it's
about having the most fun along the way
haha cheers! Sláinte as they'd say in Ireland
*coughs* okay that one is startin' to taste a little gross
oh! not developing a taste for it
*noises* god I feel like Nixon... right
eight where did National Geographic
vote the best place to celebrate st.
Patrick's Day this year well it's
probably not fucking dublin
to even celebrate it in sydney i would love
to say Boston because I've always heard
that Boston is like the Ireland of
America well that's what people keep
telling me I don't know how true that is
all I know is I've been to Boston and
there's Irish bars everywhere a lot of
people are there like to pretend
otherwise why is that a thing every time
I meet some American people they're always
like oh I'm Irish yeah my mother's dogs
on my father's side was actually Irish
that makes me one four hundredth Irish
Noo some people actually have like my
mom is Irish and I'm like that's okay
that's fine you pass but the people who
are like connected like four hundred
fucking miles away and 700 degrees of
separation I'm like mmm really... and then everyone
always asks me where in Ireland are you
from? And I'm like you're not gonna know it
and they're like ask me is it Cork? Is it Galway
is it Dublin? I'm like no... it's Westmeath and
they're like oh I don't know where that
is.. And I'm like I fucking knew that why'd you
ask me? *laugh* anyway they're lovely people they
mean well and I like talking about
Ireland to them because they're always
fascinated by it and I love that, Big ups
Ireland umm I'm going to say New York
because that's what I-I got a question
about New York earlier *clap* Fuckin' sound
logic I'm gettin' smarter the more Jamison
thats in me well how many of you pronounce
it JAMEeson as well?
is that how an Irishman would say it? Is that how an Irish
PERSON would say it actually... NO! fucking
jemison boys actually you can say
Jameson it's fine whatever as long as
you're drinking it that's fine aha right!
number nine how many pounds of dye is
used to turn Chicago River green... um I
don't know about as many pounds as it
takes to turn my hair green haha zing! Self burn
*gun cocking and shooting noise* Dude! my face is turning like
fucking bright red I look like a
tomato, supposed to look like a fucking
potato, not a tomato umm 45 65 or
85?... when in doubt middle it out 65 I
don't fucking know it's a big river! The
Chicago River how many pounds of fucking
water, how much water's in the Chicago
River? Uhmm it says that its 251 kilometers
in length... that's a big-ass river but
they don't dye the whole fucking thing!..
From start to finish do they? I know how
much does dye dissolve in water I know
65 pounds AH! It's only 45 pounds? Awh maan!
that's not a lot well actually that is a lot
wait what 45 pounds in kilos? That's only
20 kilograms of fucking dye? Come on man
thats fucking nothin'! I can lift more than
that one arm!... Ok I guess there's another
shot happening Oh Nelly oh hi Nelly Oh
biscuits and cheese oh fuckerdo... right
oh they're starting to hit now! *sniff* Oh smell
that smell it no that's a fucking good one
...BARTENDER! *burp* no more! Please fuckin' hell
*more mouth noises??* you know what jemison is good
fer? you drink Jemison and 7up or jemison
and sprite that's a good fucking time OR
if you get some jemison and you put some
boilin' water into it and then you get
yourself a hot whiskey ohh those are
good those are good on a nice cold
night ohh they warm you up all night
because the whiskey makes your belly
feel all warm makes you feel like you're
fucking smaug from the hobbit and you
just breathe fire on everyone but no
I just put some boilin' water in there
whoa Bob's your fucking granny...UM right
LAST question how many pints of Guinness are
drunk globally on the seventeenth of march
i would hope that its 19 million i'd
hope that everyone out there is
drinking Guinness even though personally
*mutters* just between you and me I don't really like
Guinness I don't like it all that much, can't really
drink a whole lotta Guinness, Guinness is-
Guinness is kinda gross I don't really like it.
Does that make me a bad Irishman?
Does that make me bad? *Muttering stops* Cuz Guinness
-Guinness isn't a fucking drink Guinness is like drinking
a four course meal, you sit down to drink
a guinness and you're COMMITTED you
better have space in that fucking belly
department a yours when you're drinking
guinness or you're not gonna get through it
some people love that some people
love fuckin' and feeling like a full
bus on the way to bingo eh when they're
drinking guinness, but not me no i like- i
like... stupid beer I like beer that's very
light and nice and easy to drink like a
beverage, like a nice little soda pop
yeah like a frizzy drink *giggle* guinness is hard! Maybe
I've grown up, haven't tasted one in
like five years maybe I've grown up and
I've- I've developed the taste, cuz it is an
old man's drink Oh! Ehya all of you out there
drinkin', thinkin' that you're fucking
grand and mighty but no whenever you see
old men drinking Guinness its always the ones
that sit in the pub all day every day
they have nothing else to do, they retired
to get in the pension every week every
month whatever, however often they get
you send a pub and they drink their pension
away... that's all it is then they go
back home to their missus, Where they
hear the shouts and the screams of the
babbies *noises* what are you going to do? drink
fucking guinness all day probably yeah
that's what they do do*haha doo doo* and it's a sad
sight it's sad existence to just be
drinking Guinness all day cuz you know
what it does, makes you fat, Guinness makes you fat
ACTUALLY a while ago there used to be
an ad in Ireland where it said Guinness
is good for you, because there's iron in
guinness and they used to think that it
was... they could get away with that
actually they did get away with it-
it used to say a guinness was good for you on the
side of a big fucking pub on the
way to me granny's house, and it would say
and you'd be- I was like why does it say that and they're
like oh yeah, eh Guinness in small
quantities- it's technically some
benefits to it, apparently so does whiskey
but i dunno about that-I'm feelin' the affects a that rn
I'm going to guess 16 million
I don't know why *giggle* cuz
*???*
I'm not gonna guess 10 million cuz thats the bottom and then i'm
gonna guess in the middle of the top ones
*sigh* it's fucking 13 million
*distantly* why, whyyy do I try??
*normally* right so-so we got one two three four five six...
six wrong and four right, eh did I really only
get four right? oh my god for shame for
absolute fucking shame i'm gonna have to
dye my hair a different color because i
can't be patriotic with the color of green
which by the way symbolizes HOPE for st.
Patrick's Day, IF YOU FUCKING GIVE ME THAT
QUESTION I woulda known it, the last time
I did this- was it last year one? when was the time
I did the waxin' of my legs when I did that
quiz I knew nothing about St. Patrick's day or Ireland
either I mean... WHY would I
know this shit, why would I know when
the first St. Patrick's Day Parade in New
York was?? WHY would I know the oldest
fuckin' man in Clare Patrick Pakie Wall-
I mean Pakie, credit to ya you're a great
man wait why would I know the fucking
country is the Emerald Isle of the Caribbean?!
Give me some questions about Ireland!
like how many counties in Ireland! *noises*
*slurring* itsa lotta counties ok? itsalottathem
last, last shot, LAST SHOT and I'm gonna leave you with that I
drank like fucking half the bottle *laughs*
oh no its what six shots? Oh god! I was at
Pax East recently and somebody was like you
want to do a shot jamison with me
because I'm Irish they thought it was
a hoot *laughs sarcasticlly* I get it! Irishman
???
fucking like tequila, we take the shota Jamison, and
then we bite into a potato ZING um but I didn't want to do I because
I was like no shot Jamison I don't wanna get
drunk or anything and then I'm sitting here in my
bedroom drinking shots... it's a sad
existence... Oh! Youtube is a life man *laughs*
YOU PROUD A ME MAM? *coughs*
And that does it for this video on st. Paddy's Day I hope you're
all having a mighty day, eh don't forget i
know, as silly as this video was i'm just
going to bring it down and actually be
serious for a second please drink
responsibly on paddy's day I know it's a-
it's a joke and everything to drink a
lot on Paddy's Day because it's-
it's Ireland we drink a lot whatever and
I know I'm not really sending a great
message don't do this at home I should
say that right now before people fucking
take this seriously uhmm I did take the shots,
so that- that part was serious, but please
be safe out there it's one of those days
where people like to just let loose its
day off for a lot of people to go out
and get really really drunk over the
weekend and to do silly things please be
safe right there drink responsibly I
have nothing against people drinking you
can get absolutely shit-faced all you
want but please be safe, please try
to be cognizant when you're actually out
there drinking because a lot of
dangerous things can actually happen
when you have alcohol in your system and
some people can't handle alcohol as well as other-
AS WELL AS OTHERS
so, please, by all means drink responsibly, but go out
there and have fun go out with some
friends have fun and enjoy the day that
it is it's going to be a good time but
for now this is your fake Irishman
apparently signing off THANK YOU GUYS so
much for watching this episode if you LIKED it,
PUNCH that like button in its face,
LIKE A PADDY, and high shots all around, thank you guys
and I will see you dudes, *burp* in the next video!
*outro music* otherwise I can't pick that one, laddergoat,
I do love ladder goat, ladder goat
why u so random? (Rawr XD)
I seriously feel like I can fuckin breathe fire right now but its fine
I'm Irish dammit! I can handle it