- 2015.
YouTube Rewind was only mildly cringe.
For some reason British YouTubers hit their peak.
"The Dan and Phil Radio Show."
Definitely black and blue dress.
Zalfie, Martha.
Collaborating with YouTubers you didn't even like
and pretending to be friends.
Obama was president and I looked like this.
Hot.
Now we're all back in that mindset,
I discovered some incredible quizzes
from 2013 to 2016 about British YouTubers.
When I say incredible,
I mean hilariously terrible,
and I respect everyone that made one.
All right, let's see how clever these quiz makers are
with "Which British YouTuber are you?"
I might not even be in it.
I'm being very presumptuous.
(symphonic music)
All right, we got Joey and Zoe.
Wait, Joey, Zoe and Joe.
So they're gonna be answers.
"You get invited to a party at a club."
That's very unlikely from the get-go.
Maybe a movie night.
All right, "What's your response"?
"I really would like to go,
but I'd rather be with friends watching movies inside."
That's what I just said.
I hadn't even read the answers yet.
That's gotta be me, if I'm an answer.
"I really wanna go."
That sounds like you're not gonna go.
I really want to go, but my dog has diarrhea.
"I would like to go,
but I don't want to drink or get drunk."
I mean, I wouldn't mind.
"I'll be too busy.
I'll be trying to beat kids at Mario Kart."
Kids is a weird word there.
"I would rather be with friends watching movies inside."
Oh, it's me.
I must be in the quiz.
"Where would you prefer to live in England?"
Wiltshire, Berkshire, London-
Or is it Berkshire?
It's Berkshire, sorry Dan.
I'm gonna go with London
because that's where I live.
"What would you study?"
Okay, right.
I did study English language,
so that's gotta be the Phil answer.
Law, a hundred percent Dan.
"I'd rather not study at all."
I mean, to be honest, if I've gotta choose
if I'm gonna study or not, I'm not gonna study at all,
but I'm gonna say English language
'cause that's what I did.
Well, that was Zoe's launch.
She launched something.
I don't remember what it was.
It was a product of some kind.
I was there and I was really self-conscious because
those were my spare glasses
'cause I had lost my main glasses.
But also, everyone was dressed up
and I was just in this farmery shirt
and I just kind of felt like it was a bad choice.
That's why I look like this.
"You can only use one social media
for the rest of your life.
Which one is it?"
See, I have such a nostalgia for Tumblr.
I might just go put my entire life back on there.
It's gotta be YouTube.
It's where I am now.
Amity Fest.
What the hell was that?
I was not invited to whatever that was.
"If you're going on a holiday
when do you feel the most happy?"
On the plane?
What the, who would choose that?
I'm small so I can fit easily.
What?
Just shove them in the overhead bin.
"The day after, I love coming back home to my bed."
All of these answers are not on holiday
except for the one in the hotel.
So I'm gonna be getting the room service
and dipping my feet into something.
What?
Don't wanna say.
"Who's your OTP, one true pair?"
Not all heroes wear capes.
(laughs)
Sorry.
I could wear a cape.
Who is your OTP, one true pair.
If you didn't know.
Zalphie gets a heart.
Why does no one else get a heart?
What's that?
Where's the heart next to Phan?
Phan, Kimye.
What is this?
"Yes or no and Joe Sugg, same"?
No and Joe Sugg.
I'm gonna go with Phan.
cause I wanna see what they say about me at the end.
I am Phil Lester.
It is clever.
Who needs ChatGPT when you've got Michaela Halter,
you're pretty funny.
Pretty funny.
Thanks.
Alright, and innocent.
I mean, I wouldn't say I'm innocent.
You don't like swearing a lot
although you don't mind if others do.
That's very true.
Swear all you like to me, your little (censored).
You do like video games and you are pretty competitive.
I was about to say, I'm not that competitive
but then there's a whole montage of me
being a sore loser somewhere on YouTube.
All or nothing.
All right, we can put a hundred percent of our trust
into these quizzes.
Would you be adopted by Dan or Phil?
Hello.
Sorry to interrupt you Phil.
It's the other Phil here,
from the future.
Here to tell you that amazingphilshop.com
is having its biggest ever sale.
Everything is 50% off or more,
including this
and this shiny metallic poster that I've signed
and also this and also this.
Found this stuff in the back of the warehouse
that is never gonna be on sale again.
So if you wanna grab it, now is your chance.
Give yourself a treat.
Back to the other Phil.
- "Would you be adopted?"
Alright, Panic! At the Disco, Muse, Kanye West,
Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande,
I've gotta go with the one with Muse in it.
Whatever happens.
- Okay? - Yeah.
- Llamas or Lions?
"Nope, they're both stinky, nasty animals."
(laughs)
That's where my eyes went to first.
It's gotta be the lions.
"Fave YouTuber?"
"Dan and Phil, obviously."
We got the brackets like the Zoella heart
Dan and Phil obviously.
"Are you a fan of Dan and Phil?"
I mean, I am Dan and Phil meme trash number one.
"Would you be adopted by Dan and Phil?"
"101% Yuppers."
(laughs)
It was a simpler time.
I liked this time.
Can we all go back to 2016?
They are 101%.
I don't know why I find it so funny.
"They're 101% gonna adopt you cuz they see a good in you.
Enjoy your new dads.
Now I can be your friend."
I wouldn't trust either of us to adopt you, to be honest.
I mean, between us, we would a hundred percent...
101% yuppers cause your death.
So it's not worth it.
It's the YouTuber sleepover.
What's gonna happen here?
"You wake up, and being the internet hobo you are,
you check your YouTube account.
After the page loaded,
your eyes wander to your subscribers
and pop out of your head.
You have 500,000 subscribers.
You quickly open up Twitter and form a tweet."
Form a tweet.
You grow your tweet in a lab.
- ♪ Form the corn ♪
- "You see a message in your private messages
from no other than Zoella.
She's inviting you to sleep
over at her house with other YouTubers.
What do you say?"
"Of course,
Me, are you sure?"
A lowly YouTuber with 500,000 subscribers?
I'd probably ask about the food.
Oh my God, what's happening?
Zoe?
"Zoey gives the details and you start packing.
What do you bring?"
We need to consider this carefully.
We've got athletic shorts and a hoodie for pajamas.
"My favorite movie, my phone, laptop, camera,
charges for everything, a toothbrush."
Feel like that's a bit overkill for one sleepover.
You're not living with Zoe.
"Pokemon Tee black, cute shirt with a quote."
What would that be in 2016?
Keep calm and vlog or something.
"A One Direction tank top and Spandex shorts."
Now the gay in me is feeling
like that could be kind of iconic in 2023.
I think I'd go with the Pokemon Tee.
"You arrive at the door.
Who answers it?
Phil, Dan, Joe, Casper, or Connor."
It's gotta be me.
I answer the door.
Zoe says, "who was it?"
And Phil says, y slash c slash n.
He's malfunctioning.
He's a robot.
Oh, I think that must be the name of the person
that's doing the quiz.
It's a much more jaded clone of Phil from the future.
"Hi Zoe."
"Hi."
"Thanks for coming.
We're gonna play Truth or Dare."
Oh God.
"The two of you go upstairs.
Everyone says hi and you start the game.
Since Phil is new here, she goes first."
"Phil, truth or dare?"
Ugh, truth.
This is accurate, I hate dares.
I would not wanna run outside naked
or lick peanut butter off someone or prank call Tesco.
All things I've never done in a dare.
"Do you like anyone in this room?"
- [Animated Voice] Option one.
"You, squeaks awkwardly."
"No."
"You didn't sound so sure, you do!"
"Fine, yes, I do like someone in the room."
Uh oh, the crush is gonna come out.
- [Animated Voice] Option two.
"You, blushes."
"Yeah."
"Ah, sprinklerino.
- [Animated Voice] Option three you.
- You, Yeah, he's really hot.
Casper. Obviously it's me then.
Nah, it's probably me.
Are you guys crazy.
It's me.
I'm not saying who it is.
- [Animated Voice] Option four.
- Who is it?
I'm not telling.
I think in a group setting I would still play coy.
So I'm gonna say I'm not telling.
Ha ha ha, Louise truth or dare.
Dare. Okay, do we want Louise to put a cat whisker
on her face and post a selfie wearing them?
Very Louise is Not on Fire.
Yell tit balls out the window.
Prank call Troy, give me your phone
or swim a lap in the pool.
Has Zoe got a pool?
I'm enjoying tit balls out the window.
So Louise yells, tit balls out the window.
Oh, we're leaving on a cliffhanger.
But for now, here's a bonus question.
Who do you want?
Dan, Phil, Joe, Conner
or YouTube's official slut Casper Lee?
Does he have that title?
I'm gonna go with Phil because I'm a narcissist.
Oh my God, that picture haunts me.
Why would he use that?
If I could rate this quiz down?
I would 'cause you used that picture.
I can't believe we made a poster outta that.
Phil really likes you too
but is too scared to say anything.
We're back into the would you F
a clone yourself situation now.
That was weird, but I had a nice time.
Alright, final quiz Adopted by Zalfie roleplay.
Oh, you lost both your, sorry.
You lost both your parents at the age of two.
You have no memory of them.
And since you lived in an or-
(laughs)
I need to get myself together.
Since you lived in an orphanage
no one ever chose you and you had no parents
until now you thought no one would ever want you
and you never expected to be adopted
by famous YouTube blogger Zoella one day.
What a treat.
But one day she just stood in front of you
and talked for a while and you got to know each other.
That's how it works at the orphanage.
You just gotta stand in front of people until
they take you away.
Two weeks later, she's decided she's chosen you.
She was actually looking for a toddler
but you get along so well.
She decided to take you anyway.
Well, this man in his thirties,
you arrive at your new place.
I mean there's no option to play
with her dog and that's the only reason I'm here.
I'm just so excited for my new life.
Zoe leads you into the house
and helps you storage your suitcases.
You take a deep breath.
Alfie comes around the corner and greets you with a smile.
You hug him, smile back.
You're too nervous to do anything.
Shake his hand.
I feel like me and Alfie are on hug terms.
Here's all the clothes for your life.
They show you your room, but Zoe wants to help you unpack
and see's you barely have any clothes.
She asked if you wanna go shopping.
Yes our first thing to do as mother and daughter!
You arrive at the mall.
It would actually be the shopping center
if you're in the UK.
Where do you wanna go?
Urban Outfitters, Primark, H and M.
I'm gonna go with Urban Outfitters.
Let's get her to splash out.
Zoe tells you that she
and Alfie have some friends coming over.
Is it gonna be Troy, Connor and Tyler?
I actually saw this picture on Twitter the other day.
Isn't it funny that most of us were
in the closet here and we all turned out to be gay?
We were just drawn to each other without realizing.
Back home Alfie tells you to order food
and he'd like to watch a movie.
What do you wanna watch?
I'm not gonna watch Elf in June.
I also think that's an early season
of American Horror Story because this is 2016,
so that might be a good one.
A few hours later you hear the doorbell
and your heart begins beating very fast.
You wonder who it will be.
You hope for Dan?
He's cute.
Or maybe Phil.
(laughs)
Thanks. It's all right.
I don't need a compliment.
Marcus, Tyler, I always wanted to meet him, Joe.
I mean he's my uncle.
All of them.
I want Dan and Phil.
We got included.
See, they were all good friends and I think we
were just a little bit too alternative and nerdy for them.
We just didn't really mesh.
You greet everyone and you're surprised
about how happy they are to meet you.
How do you feel?
Asks Troy.
It's strange.
Amazing. I'm a big fan.
I'm unbelievably happy to finally have a family.
I couldn't wish someone better to adopt me.
I'm grateful and it's just cool to meet you all.
I'm gonna say I'm grateful and it's cool to meet you all.
Look how out of place I was
in that plaid shirt and blue shoes.
Looks like Zoe's just booted Dan in the face.
Probably know most of the guys right?
Asks Alfie, all of you.
I know most of you, Dan.
I'm a big fan.
Yeah, Connor's channel is the first one I ever followed.
Started watching Zoe's videos
and I kind of ended up on your channels.
That's just like your trash.
I don't care.
I'm gonna say I'm a big fan of Dan.
What about a board game? asks Phil
Oh yeah.
I'm just like this party's getting too rowdy.
We all have to play Catan.
I saw a meme that was like
there's always one person that wants to play a game
at a party and they ruin it.
I think they make the party better.
I don't care.
I want to play a game.
Great idea says Marcus, he probably saw you looked tensed.
Who do you want as your team partner?
I just chose Dan, so let's mix it up.
Who do I think would be good at a game, Tyler?
I mean, he is always playing stuff on Twitch.
Your team wins.
Yes, they might have let you win.
Zoe makes tacos for you all
and you eat until you're very sleepy.
The others have gone home.
You're very sad because you had a-
(laughs)
you're never gonna be able to see them again.
You had such a great time.
Bye.
I'm always happy when a party's over personally.
Oh, who are you gonna hug?
Obviously Phil.
How did you like your first day in our family?
Asked Zoe.
I can't believe you, Zoe Sugg, are my mother!
I've gotta say that one.
Good night says Zoe and you wake up from the dream
and you're still on the floor of the orphanage.
Sorry.
No, I'm glad we got you out of there.
What is this orphanage?
We'll have so much fun in the future.
Hug her, smile, kick her.
No, I'm really glad too.
See you tomorrow.
Squeak.
I'm gonna squeak in her face.
Ooh, that is a racy picture of mum and dad.
You get along so well.
You're like a best friend to them and that's amazing.
All the other YouTubers really like you except for Phil.
He thinks you're a (censored) and wants to spend
as much time with you as possible.
Dan says she's really cool.
Maybe she would want to watch a movie with me someday.
Oh, blushes.
That means Zalfie are gonna be your mother
and father-in-law.
I'll have to come to England more often now I guess.
Phil said I've already followed her on Twitter
so I won't miss anything else fun she does.
Wow I got really into that.
I'm sad I haven't been adopted by Zalfie.
This is my reality.
I want to go back.
I hope you enjoyed that.
I had a lovely time.
Give me a thumbs up, subscribe.
If you would like me to adopt you, like Zalfie adopted me.
Check out my last video where I talk
about my adventures in therapy
including a very awkward encounter with a hot therapist.
And I hope you are having a nice life.
I hope you are swell and I'll see you next time.
Goodbye.