[grunting]
Ha ha! Cheaters always win!
I cheated anyway.
[laughing]
You're broke?
That makes sense.
What's the last time you even made money?
Ow, my arm or something.
In the case of Scissors versus the city,
the court rules in favor of Scissors.
Yes! Ow. My hand or something.
In the case of Scissors versus his lawyer,
the court rules in favor of Scissors.
Yes!
Ow, my ears or something.
In the case of Scissors versus... me?
You made money by faking injuries
and suing people? That's terrible.
Oh, moral Rock doesn't like making his money
through fraudulent lawsuits.
I'm in. That was easy.
Maybe today is the day I'm going
to steal the Krabby Patty formu... la!
Oh!
Careful, Plankton. I just mopped there.
Oh, the pain! I can't feel my arms and legs.
I think they're broken.
I'll have to sue for my pain and suffering.
- Sue?! - Oh, that looks bad.
Uh-oh.
Poor little man.
I'll drop the charges if you give me the formula.
Never, you little whelp!
[gasping]
Ow, ow! My wittle arm.
[gasping]
What? No. I didn't lay a claw on him.
Ow! My other arm!
[gasping] He's lying! Bah!
Gotcha.
Hey. Yeah, it's me, uh, Scissors or whatever.
[phone ringing]
I see you found my body double. Or should I say one of them?
I hired hundreds to throw you off my trail.
Some are quite convincing
and some didn't understand the instructions.
Where are you?
Maybe I'm behind a window, or maybe I'm in that building,
or maybe I'm near the bicycle next to Rock.
[groaning]
I have the restaurant surrounded.
Give me the secret formula, or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab.
Ah, you and what army, bub?!
What army?! What army?! Look around you, Krabs!
You planted grass?
Grass?
[laughing]
Uh-oh.
[screaming]
Scissors, scary magic lady,
it is time to get over this feud.
If you just talk to each other,
you'd realize how similar you are.
You know, I thought you might put me
in this situation, so I have a surprise for you.
I learned magic.
Magic fight!
[grunting]
Ooh.
[grunting]
[screaming]
[gasping]
[applauding]
I, the Amazing Plankton, with the use
of prestidigitation, will make a Krabby Patty disappear
before your very eyes.
First, I'll need a volunteer from the audience.
[grunting]
Nice try. Your act's over, bub.
You may win this time. Shi-ya Ka-zing!
Well, this stinks.
[audience booing]
Okay, what's the plan, new guy?
I say, we sneak up and blast 'em with my water balloon cannon.
Now, Rock, hit the launch button.
I'm trying, but I can't stop dancing.
I'll do it.
What is- Rock, grab me. Grab me!
What the heck is going on?!
[screaming]
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Oh, the party won't stop!
I made an atomic transmogrification laser.
It can alter molecular structure in really crazy ways. Watch.
My head- my head is a balloon!
Okay, this might be a bit harder than I thought.
Sharp branch! Sharp branch!
[popping]
[laughing]
[gasping]
Me Krabby Patty recipe. What's it doing out here?
Oh. Should've known. Plankton.
Hey, Krabs.
It's launching time.
Please, Krabs! No! I can't take it anymore!
No more launching!
Oh, all right.
Since I'm in such a good mood, I'll go easy on you this time.
[screaming]
There. Happy landings, Plankton.
You know, this isn't so bad.
Everyone looks like little ants from up here.
[laughing]
Wait! Help!
All right, parade people, let's get that energy up.
Come on, Scissors. We got to get back to our lives.
Yeah, I'm missing my daughter's piano recital.
[overlapping chattering]
I have a birthday to attend to.
You're right.
We should apologize to all your families.
And I know just the way to do it.
[piano playing]
[thudding]
[music playing]
Your father is sorry he missed your performance, Farah!
On to the next family. The apology tour continues.
[air horn blaring]
[organ playing]
[thudding]
[music playing]
Sorry Sofia missed giving the eulogy!
[air horn blaring]
Okay, up next, Ian's mom's surgery.
Wait a minute.
This apology tour... is just an apology parade.
Well, we're not parading anymore.
We quit.
Fine. You're all replaceable. You guys wanna party?
[music playing]
Come on, come on, hurry up!
Don't worry, I just need to get the key out.
Mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm.
Gimme that, you incompetent fool!
Yes, the Krabby Patty formula's mine.
Uh, I mean, we'll have a great time.
Now, where does Krabs keep that formula?
Whoo, let's rock!
- Yeah! - We're gonna be stars!
All right! Squidward, are you ready?!
I'm ready!
Okay! Patrick, are you ready?!
[laughing]
Plankton, are you ready?!
[crickets chirping]
Plankton? [gasping]
Plankton!
Uh, I'm ready?
Wait a minute.
Was this band just a front so you could steal
the Krabby Patty Secret Formula?
What? No, I was in it for the music, man.
[sirens blaring]
You know what would go well with this victory?
Some free cake.
Scissors, don't pretend like it's Rock's birthday again.
It's wrong.
Excuse me. My roommate is turning,
uh, some age today.
Could we get a slice of your finest free cake?
Sure thing.
[chuckles]
Can I see some ID?
The birthday police are coming!
Would you relax? The waitress just asked for ID,
then you two flipped the table and ran away.
No one is coming for you.
And there's no such thing as the birthday police.
[thudding, gasping]
Freeze! Birthday police!
These are your birthday rights. You have the right to one wish.
Ooh.
But only on your birthday.
[screaming]
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[screaming, sirens blaring]
I love this song.
♪ Happy birthday Happy birthday ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Confetti cannon! I can't see!
[coughing]
Cuff them. Mark the date. May 16th.
It's Rock's actual birthday.
And you guys said that anyone whose birthday it is has
the right to one birthday wish.
That's true.
What do you want for your birthday, big guy?
Rock, you can wish us all out of birthday jail.
[gasping]
I can't believe you wished for cake.
[clarinet blaring, screaming]
Hey! Come back!
Hi, Squidward. I heard you and Plankton out here playing
door slam and I was wondering if I could-
Plankton stole my clarinet, and I have to get it back.
Whoo! I wanna play!
[laughing]
You'll never catch me here! You hear?! Never!
We've got you surrounded.
You do? Oh.
We've received hundreds of reports
of an excruciating musical disturbance
and you're the only one holding an instrument.
Wait a minute. I've never seen
this instrument before in my life.
He's right, Officer. Plankton doesn't even play clar-
There, there, laddie.
Just let the legal system run its course.
Watch your head.
No, wait! Please! Karen, help!
Oh, you won't be needing this where you're going.
[grunting]
Scissors, can you help us bring in the groceries?
I would, but my hands are full.
Well, just put it down.
Now I have another thing.
Scissors, come on. Can you just help us one time?
Hmm.
All opposed to helping?
Blah.
All in favor?
I.
Who said that?
I did.
I think maybe this time we could help.
[arguing]
You out of your mind?
But how does it benefit us?
They bought the groceries, they should bring them in!
[arguing]
Order, order!
Have you forgotten why we don't help?
Don't you remember the ice cream incident?
[music playing]
You can cut in front of me if you want.
[music playing]
Sorry, kid. She took the last scoop.
The skinny one.
He's been ranting and raving in front of the Krusty Krab
for the past half hour, waving his arms
and jumping around like an animal.
Oh, he stopped now.
He's just broken down on the ground crying.
Karen, Karen, the skinny one may have been
the gateway to the secret formula all along.
[whistling]
- Ahem! - Who said that?
Down here! I am just an innocent passerby
who felt the need to stop and tell you
what a magnificent garden you have.
- Oh, really? - Yes.
Well, let me tell you something, mister.
I know exactly who you are and why you're here.
- You do? - You will not get me
to eat at the Chum Bucket,
no matter how big the discount is.
Well, that's not exactly why I-
Shameless.
[knocking]
Hey, buddy. [thudding]
Squidward! [thudding]
Free cleaning service. [thudding]
Census taker. [thudding]
Good day, kind sir.
Would you like to buy some Gil Scout cookies?
[thudding] Ow!