Imagine being the moderator that accidentally approved the decal used to make this face.
Imagine being the mistake of god that decided it was a good idea to combine this with this.
Imagine being the parents of a healthy young builders club member, only to discover that
your money is going to the company hosting this spawn from the 9th circle of hell.
In Dante's inferno, the second most retched and sinful souls to ever have existed are
tortured by Lucifer himself, their infinitely regenerating skin being torn off by his jagged
claws.
The first most sinful souls have to look at these things all day.
I'm Ruben Sim and we have to talk about the uncanny valley of ROBLOX avatars.
If you don't know what the uncanny valley is, essentially it's a range of creepiness
a lot of illustrations find themselves in when trying to replicate a human like appearance.
Take a look at this wikihow drawing.
Not creepy at all.
Take a look at this photo realistic painting.
Also not creepy.
Now take a look at the character models from the latest Mass Effect game.
What the fuck is that?
Roblox avatars very easily avoid the uncanny valley due to their simple and cartoonish
appearance, yet somehow a collective of Twitter users have mathematically calculated the most
disturbing and grotesque bastardization of this form and created what I can only describe
as the ROBLOXian Thot.0 avatar, or the RThot avatar.
RThot avatars seem to be a replica of the self proclaimed Instagram model demographic,
frequently being seen in similar selfie themed photos...
That's not how a camera works.
Oftentimes these photos will include several layers of artistic depth and lore.
In this photo we can see an RThot about to have sex with another RThot.
Here we can see an RThot in the late stages of pregnancy...
A roblox avatar is pregnant... by someone with an ear.
Many people have their own theories about where the people who create these come from,
but I personally believe that it's a direct consequence of roblox disregarding all forms
of online dating.
Despite having an incredibly diverse range of ages, roblox seems to have lost all interest
in preventing strangers from engaging in romantic or even sexual discussions in game.
Roblox relies heavily on investors giving them funding, and investors rely heavily on
company growth.
If roblox is deemed to be unsafe for children, they lose their COPPA certification, and several
of their advertisers, and millions of dollars in potential funding.
This seems to have no impact on roblox's board of directors, however, who can't allocate
enough of their 92 million dollars towards a working moderation department.
As sexual activity increases among roblox's more privileged users, they begin to employ
real world sexual tactics onto the platform, especially when they begin losing the ability
to discern romance between two roblox avatars from romance between two real people.
Thus, as Instagram models accumulate sexual attention through suggestive mirror selfies,
RThots follow the same path... with significantly more horrifying results.
To test the effectiveness of this look, I've asked my girlfriend replicate it.
Sweetheart?
I need you to make me look like this.
"Um, I need to put your hair back. Do you have a headband?"
Uhh, I have hats.
Clearly I've been having laundry detergent for breakfast
By the uh, box of Tide on my table.
"Do you want your ears poking out?"
This makes my forehead look so fucking big.
ow *gunshots* do you need to look at the reference photo?
Is this how you do it? "Go wet it then, I didn't wanna wet it"
What the fuck? This is dry?
"I didn't wanna get up"
oh wah wah wah
"Stop acting like it's painful"
*pain noises*
*sexual pain noises*
"Alright we're done"
ok
this is not like the reference photo
i need to look good
"Can you tilt your head back a little?"
*explosion noises*
I feel like you don't do it this way when you do it to yourself.
"I don't do it as much but you want some intense makeup"
I don't think you hit yourself this hard.
"Want me to make your beard look really-"
No.
Don't touch the beard.
Don't touch it.
Keep your filthy-
Keep your whore hands off my beard.
"Is that sharp enough for you?"
"Does it look even?"
Not at all.
My contour has scoliosis.
Are you almost finished?
ok
"I like this angle"
I agree, it's a very nice angle.
This is an exercise on my eyelid muscles.
I don't wanna do this for too long or I'll get really buff eyelids.
It'll just look like I got stung by a bunch of bees.
I just realized you could've just made me look like one of the male ones.
It's too late now
*girly anger noise*
You're making me laugh
*additional angry girl noise*
Did you fuck up?
"Don't open your eyes!"
Aww I'm sorry. I think it needs to be like, bigger.
Like, cover a large portion of my eyelid.
"please stay still"
You don't control me.
"That doesn't count as staying still."
"No, no, where you were is good."
This is gonna be such a huge fucking meme. People are gonna be screenshotting this
and sending it to me for years.
Make them big.
Yeah.
No
Hey yall, I'm Melanie Martinez. Buy my merchandise.
"Now you're Melanie Martinez" I'm Melanie Martinez, but my merchandise.
"Umm I think you're done." I look good.
"Do you feel done?" I feel good.
Apparently this person posted their number which we're gonna have to censor.
but um, it says "If anybody wants to text" then they put a little heart there.
So I actually texted this number and I confirmed who it is.
So I'm gonna send her a very heartfelt message.
Hey man, I'm a really big fan of your work, no, artwork.
and you've inspired me to create my own work.
And now we're gonna take a beautiful selfie.
Do you like that? I think we should go with something a little more flattering.
How's that?
Excellent, I sure do feel sexy.
It sure does feel like guys wanna fuck me right now.
*sad music*
If you like this video, please consider that I really hated making it.
and it would be a shame if my hard work and self deprecation went unrewarded.
Please subscribe to my channel, and consider donating to my Patreon.
Please donate.
I need money.
Please. Give me your money.
I'm Ruben Sim, and I need your money.