>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.
MY NEXT GUEST IS A STANDUP COMEDIAN AND AN EMMY
AWARD-WINNING ACTOR.
PLEASE WELCOME, LOUIE ANDERSON.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> HI, EVERYBODY!
WOOO!
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN?
>> IT'S SO GREAT TO BE HERE.
THIS IS MY THIRD TIME.
I'M EXCITED.
>> Stephen: THIRD TIME'S A CHARM.
WE'RE GOING TO GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME.
LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS BRIEFLY, THAT
YOU'RE ONE OF 11 CHILDREN, AND I'M ONE OF 11 CHILDREN.
>> I THINK I'M TENTH, AND YOU'RE 11th, RIGHT?
>> Stephen: THAT'S EXACTLY, RIGHT, YEAH, EXACTLY.
IT'S GREAT TO BE-- IT WAS GREAT FOR ME TO BE THE BABY.
DID YOU FEEL ENOUGH LIKE THE BABY AT 10?
>> UH...
>> Stephen: YOUNGER BROTHER OR SISTER BELOW YOU?
>> YOUNGER BROTHER.
SO I THINK I DID IN A LOT OF WAYS BECAUSE I WAS LIKE MY MOM'S
SIDEKICK.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YOU KNOW THOSE CLAMMY KIDS THAT GRAB THEIR MOM'S DRESS AND ARE
UP AGAINST THEM?
>> Stephen: YES.
>> "THEY'RE HITTING ME, MOTHER."
YOU KNOW, I THINK I WAS IN FEAR OF MY LIFE.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU HAVE, YOU KNOW, FIVE BROTHERS AND FIVE SISTERS,
YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: SURE, I HAD EIGHT BROTHERS AND THREE SISTERS.
>> OH, MY GOD, EIGHT.
SO YOUR RIGHT ARM, YOU CAN'T EVEN RAISE IT THIS HIGH.
>> Stephen: I WAS USED AS A WRESTLING DUMMY WHEN I WAS A
CHILD, BECAUSE A COUPLE MY BROTHERS WERE ALL-STATE
WRESTLERS.
AND THEY HAD SAY, "COME HERE.
I'M GOING TO PUT YOU IN A GERMAN HEADLOCK, IT'S ILLEGAL."
>> YOU DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER.
>> Stephen: I WAS THRILLED.
I WAS THRILLED JUST TO GET THE ATTENTION.
I KIND OF MISS GETTING BEAT UP BY MY BROTHERS.
>> IT WAS FUN TO GET PUNCHED WHEN THEY WALKED BY-- "OW!
THANK YOU!" >> Stephen: IT WAS AN ACT OF
LOVE.
>> IT IS THAT.
I GUESS IT'S BEING ACCEPTED INTO A CLAN.
BECAUSE 11 IS A CLAN, ISN'T IT.
>> Stephen: BLOOD NBLOOD OUT.
>> BLOOD IN, BLOOD OUT.
>> Stephen: AS THE YOUNGEST, DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR
YOUNGEST, OR YOUNGER SIBLINGS LIKE HOW TO SURVIVE?
>> RUN, RUN, RUN TO YOUR MOTHER OR YOUR FATHER.
( LAUGHTER ) STAND BEHIND THEM AND GO...
( LAUGHTER ) AND THEY'LL BEAT YOU LATER.
>> Stephen: I HIT MY BROTHER JAY IN THE SHINS WHEN I WAS
JUST, LIKE, THREE YEARS OLD.
I FOUND A HAMMER AND JAY IS LOAF YEARS OLD HE'S LOAF YEARS MY
SENIOR, AND I WHACKED HIM IN THE SHINS AS HARD AS A
THREE-YEAR-OLD COULD WITH A HAMMER, DROPPED THE HAMMER AND
RAN AWAY GIGGLING TO MY SISTER LULU, WHO WAS-- MY SISTERS WERE
LIKE OTHER MOTHERS OF ME.
AND I RAN BEHIND THEM AND MY SISTER LULU SAID, WHAT, DID YOU
LITTLE BABY HURT YOU?" AND JAY SAID, "YES, GIVE HIM TO
ME THAT I MIGHT HURT HIM IN RETURN."
THAT'S WHEN YOU LEARN AS A KID, RUN FAST.
>> AND DID THEY -- >> Stephen: NO, NEVER GAVE ME
UP.
>> THEY PROTECT YOU.
THE GIRLS PROTECT YOU.
>> Stephen: MY SISTERS WERE SURPRISED I EVER LEARNED TO WALK
BECAUSE THEY CARRIED ME EVERYWHERE.
>> WELL,IS A BIG BABY, SO THEY DID NOT CARRY ME EVERYWHERE.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE THE NEW BOOK HERE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED "HEY MOM"
AND THAT IS YOU ON THE COVER.
>> THAT IS MY ON THE COVER.
>> Stephen: THAT IS YOU ON THE COVER.
LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE YOU BASED YOUR CHARACTER A LITTLE
BIT ON YOUR MOM.
>> YEAH, DEFINITELY ON MY MOM.
>> Stephen: AND HERE'S YOUR MOM.
HERE'S YOUR MOM, RIGHT THERE.
>> HEY MOM.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
>> YEAH, THIS CHARACTER, WHEN I STARTED PLAYING A WOMAN-- FIRST
OF ALL, I LEARNED SO MUCH.
BUT SECOND OF ALL, I'M PLAYING A MOTHER WHO IS VERY FIERCELY, YOU
KNOW, PROTECTING HER SONS AND YELLING AT THEM AND JUST
REALLY-- AND I SAID, "I'M BECOMING-- I'M BECOMING ZACH
GALIFIANAKIS' MOTHER PUP KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I WAS, LIKE, TREATING HIM.
I'D WIPE SOMETHING OFF HIM.
>> Stephen: OFF CAMERA.
>> YES, AND ON CAMERA, AND THE CHARACTER BECAME, YOU KNOW,
REALLY STRONG AND REALLY A POWERFUL PERSON IN THE SHOW.
AND I DECIDED I NEEDED TO WRITE A LETTER TO MY MOM THANKING HER
AND ASKING HER SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT IT MUST HAVE BEEN
LIKE.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I WAS TENTH.
WHAT'S IT'S LIKE TO BRING YOUR TENTH KID HOME?
IS IT A SACK OF POTATOES THING WHERE YOU JUST-- "TAKE HIM!
HE'S RUSSETS!" >> Stephen: DID SHE HOVER OVER
YOU?
OR WERE YOU KIND OF FREE RANGE?
>> IFTS-- NO, MY MOM KNEW WHERE WE WERE.
SHE HAD SOME KIND OF, LIKE, THAT OWL EYESIGHT, WHERE IF YOU
MOVED, YOU WOULD BE PICKED UP.
YOU KNOW?
SHE WOULD JUST... LAWYER YOU COULD SEE HER FROM IN THE HOUSE.
( LAUGHTER ) MOMS CONTROL BY LOOKS, YOU KNOW.
YOUR DAD'S TOUGH, BUT YOUR MOM IS REALLY TOUGH.
WHEN I GOT IN TROUBLE, I DIDN'T RUN HOME AND GET MY DAD.
I GOT MY MOM.
BECAUSE KIDS WOULD GO, "GET OUT OF HERE!
HE'S GETTING HIS MOM!
SHE KILLED A BAT YESTERDAY!"
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU DEDICATE, LIKE EACH CHAPTER SAY
LETTER TO YOUR MOM.
WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU WANTED YOUR MOM TO KNOW?
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS YOU TALKED TO HER ABOUT?
>> I WANTED HER TO KNOW WHAT A JERK I WAS SOMETIMES AND I WAS
AN UNGRATEFUL KID AND I WAS MEAN TO HER SOMETIMES, EVEN AS AN
ADULT PUP KNOW, I GOT SO FULL OF MYSELF AS AN ACTOR AND A
COMEDIAN.
I HAD SOME SUCCESS, AND I TREATED HER POORLY COMPARED TO
HOW I SHOULD HAVE.
AND SO I TOOK THAT OPPORTUNITY TO SAY THAT BECAUSE I WANTED
THIS BOOK TO REALLY HAVE A COMPLETE PICTURE OF ME AND MY
FAMILY WITH MY MOM.
, AND ALSO, I WANTED TO ASK HER QUESTIONS, AND IMENTED TO FIND
OUT WHAT DID SHE SEE IN DAD?
YOU KNOW?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> BECAUSE MY DAD WAS REALLY KIND OF A-- YOU KNOW, HE WAS AN
ALCOHOLIC AND ABUSIVE.
HOW DID SHE-- HOW-- YOU KNOW-- I UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU HAVE 10 KIDS
BACK THEN, OR 11 KIDS, YOU DON'T JUST PICK UP AND LEAVE.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE SYSTEM IT IS NOW WHERE THERE ARE PLACES
PEOPLE CAN GO.
BUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT DID SHE SEE IN HIM?
THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME KIND OF UNBELIEVABLE LOVE THERE.
AND, YOU KNOW, I WOULD HAVE ASKED HER ALL THOSE KIND OF
QUESTIONS.
AND, ALSO, WHAT DID SHE NOT GET TO DO BECAUSE OF US?
>> Stephen: SURE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE WANTED TO DO?
WAS THERE SOME DREAM SHE HAD THAT SHE COULDN'T FOLLOW?
>> I THINK SHE WOULD HAVE WANTED TO BE AN ACTRESS, MAYBE.
>> Stephen: MY MOM, TOO.
SHE DEFINITELY WANTED TO BE AN ACTRESS.
>> SO YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE AN ACTRESS WHEN YOU HAVE 11
CHILDREN.
YOU'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE YOU LIKE ALL THOSE KIDS, BUT--
( LAUGHTER ).
>> SO I FEEL LIKE-- WHEN I GOT THE EMMY.
WON THE EMMY FOR THIS THE FIRST YEAR, I WAS VERY FORTUNATE.
AND WHEN I GOT UP THERE, I WAS LIKE, "WE DID IT, MOM!"
FOR ME THAT WAS A BIG THING FOR ME.
I-- THE REASON IT'S CALLED "HEY MOM" IS BECAUSE MY WHOLE LIFE,
EVEN AFTER SHE WENT, I GO, "HEY, MOM, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS?"
WHEN SOMETHING WOULD GO ON.
I GO, "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS?
HEY, IS DAD UP IN HEF WEN YOU OR DID THEY KICK HIM OUT?"
AND ALL THOSE KIND OF THINGS.
I HAVE A VERY NOSTALGIC AND WONDERFUL-- I LOVE MY MOM.
SHE WAS GREATEST.
>> Stephen: THOSE CONVERSATIONS WERE THE BEST.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: EVEN NOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: LOUIE IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE.
HIS BOOK, "HEY MOM," IS OUT NOW.
LOUIE ANDERSON, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.