i just took a shower and yes my hair did change i was in new york city for like four days
with my high school friends and i had them dye my hair this color so i didn't go to the salon for
this i did have a bleach blonde hair before but now i have like a warm coral color on top and it's
looking like pink brown sort of ginger not really but yeah i really like it after this i think i'm
gonna do a red hair before i dive back to dark brown so honestly i really miss my dark brown hair
i think i'm gonna get like a shorter haircut too but because my hair is already bleached i thought
why not have more fun with it now we're gonna do a little bit of tea time because i just have a lot
to update you guys on and i am anxious honestly i've been wanting to film this video for so long
but i've been pushing it away because every time i try to film i was just feeling so
anxious and i didn't know how much of it to tell you guys but i was doing like a quick q&ㅁ
on instagram and someone left me a little response or feedback that was um i feel like you've been a
little more distanced like do you have any plans to do like an update video yeah it is time for
a big life update so here i am so let's have a little get ready with me slash life update
session i just mixed my sunscreen with my gel moisturizer to make it more suitable under makeup
this video is sponsored by Florasis i have been using these products for a good bit now i always
make sure that i test out the products for at least like a good month before i film the video so
i've been playing around with these products and i really do like all of them so i'm going to pick
out some of my absolute favorites and share them with you guys in this video first off i'm gonna
just start out with my good old cozy concealer i don't want to do foundation today i'm just going
light and the older i get the more i realize that i like myself with light makeup just because i put
on a lot of makeup doesn't mean that i'm going to feel more confident you know i feel like nowadays
i feel even more confident when i'm wearing like the least amount of makeup so just doing
concealer in these spots i feel like i haven't really opened up for a good bit on youtube but
more specifically starting like march i just haven't been in the good mental headspace to open
up even with my own self like i have been denying my feelings have been avoiding my feelings and
avoiding my thoughts if you have noticed i'm like everywhere all the time i'm never home i was going
through a relationship which i never talk about even like family friends like closest friends i
tend to keep that separate which is also something that i've been trying to tackle a little bit i was
talking to a therapist one time and she was like the reason why a lot of people don't like to open
up is because you feel the pressure to be able to articulate your feelings clearly usually when
you're going through that state of like needing to talk to someone you don't have that figured out
and there's like no way you can actually articulate that perfectly you just have to
get it out and say whatever you want to be able to clear your head and to like communicate with
someone and to figure that out together but i'm just not the best at that so that's one thing
but like going back to the main point i was in a relationship it was all good you know i
really do appreciate this relationship even though it's over now i don't even know like what to say
about this because i've never opened up about my relationship status in the first place which
i think is good but also i feel like i do want to like talk about it a little bit while keeping the
privacy just so like we can talk about it together and like go through it together because it doesn't
have to be a secret 100 percent you know also i'm using this multi-purpose palette i don't know
um from fluorescence i'm going to take this like yellow
powder and i like to do a little cut with it
anyways after the breakup i've just been just trying to find myself again and
i i think the main problem i had with this relationship was that i felt like i couldn't
grow more i felt like i was just this one person that i was for the entire time like i feel i
felt like i couldn't try different things without feeling the judgment i felt like i
had to stay as this one exact person to be liked and to be loved and you know that's not what we
want we're always evolving as people and i just wasn't getting that so out of the relationship i'm
just trying new things and this is where a lot of people have realized that like
my personality has changed or evolved a little bit to be more outgoing more careless more free
also like my style has changed a bit because i don't have to think about anyone else when i'm
dressing i just have to think about me what i like which should be the case all the time
even when you're in a relationship i feel like healthy relationships shouldn't limit you to
a certain style a certain way of living you just should be able to love them for who they are
my main flex for the past like couple of years too
a lot of people have been that i've never been through a real heartbreak
and that's not the case anymore and nobody wants to go through a breakup but i honestly
think that it's such a good opportunity for a character development and it just
i mean the main goal is to find the perfect person for you and to be in love forever
but breakups aren't that bad it is bad but it's good for the plot you know it's really good
for growing into the person that you should be growing into at a certain point in your life and
you will get over it better people will come into your life from the breakup we're gonna go with the
eyeshadow palettes we have these two palettes that i want to show you guys from Florasis
one is more neutral one is more pinky and purple and this new collection is for the valentine's day
on chinese lunar calendar so they're very like romantic also comes with a lot of
like details with pearls collection is co-branded with Susan Fang and independent Chinese designer
so the design is super innovative yet classic for this collection also the formula has taken
a lot of effort to make it very natural and nourishing for your skin i'm gonna use the
first color all over the lid i also love putting it down here this color another thing that really
messed with my brain for the couple of months is the fact that i'm here in california during the
summer not a lot of my close school friends were around and i just felt so alone in this new place
or even the thought of having to move into a new place and finding my place my spot here
especially like out of the relationship i didn't know what to do with myself like i just felt
like i was dropped in the middle of nowhere when i don't know anything about where i was
dropped i just felt so isolated and so alone i think i cried myself to sleep for like a month
but i'm good now i'm recovered i feel like i am still and in a denial stage of my life i think
i need to start journaling or something so i can get my feelings out but like
i don't want to i don't want to journal i don't want to write
about my thoughts i don't want to write about my feelings i'm just
the old me would hate this new side of me but also once you i don't think this is good
advice but once you stop thinking a little bit like once you stop overthinking a little bit
life gets so much easier and more fun and more carefree and especially now that it's summer
like i don't really want to think i'm just living i don't plan i don't stress now that my hair is a
little pink i'm just using this palette with like red tones and i'm mixing this one and this one to
fill in my brows i do want to be able to control what i say about like my
relationship and the breakup and like the mental health issues that i've been just dealing with
the past couple of months i am doing this more of like a life update style instead of doing a cool
q&a based on what i talked about today we can do another q&a to fill in the missing spots and
to fill in the holes because right now i'm talking to myself and i don't really know what to say i've
also been really into light brows i really don't do much i feel like this brows a little patchy but
i kind of like the barely there brows if i could i would actually bleach my brows
but i think that's a little too vogue for me right now anyways we're going to take this darker brown
the corners hello i was just gonna quickly finish my makeup so i can just talk to you guys
because i'm really not good at doing this
these lipsticks are so cute because it literally looks like a little purse
it comes with this little chain with such cute details and the way the lipstick comes out too
is so cute because you press into this and this comes out like this oh my gosh how pretty
i've been very into gradient lips again like throwback to 2014. i'm gonna do a neutral base
i love how it makes my lips look so like powdery and smooth this lipstick is making me fall in love
with matte lipsticks again because i used to not do macro but um but i love how this looks
and on top of this i just can't resist the gloss these days i'm not going to go like all over but
i'm going to take their lip balm and i'm going to put it like right here almost like highlight duh
and then that reminding me we're not done with the face
this palette is so good i cannot go a day without this palette anymore
i'm gonna take the highlight shade which is so pretty i'm gonna put it right here
right here
i'm doing a little beach day with my roommates so i changed into my beach fit and i
went through the crisis trying to figure out what i wanted to wear to the beach
tried on like three different swimsuits this one i have okay let me do a little
haul i have this one from princess polly which like looks so tiny but it's because
it's all scrunched up they stretch out really well it's like a triangle top and then i have
this from kulani kinis and i don't really like this one because the top is so like
not secure every time i put it on it feels like it's gonna fall off and the one i'm
wearing right now is also from princess paulie we're gonna make a cute little drink
she always has this thing where she mixes jam into our drinks
and it's actually so good please try it are we taking these yes i love these strawberries
foreign
but it's never like that when you're around