- What'd you do today?
- I cooked a football in a turkey.
- Let's talk about that.
(alarm rings) (playful theme music)
(fire blasts)
Good Mythical Morning.
- Every year, 46 million turkeys are eaten in America alone
and around this time, you know what's getting
stuffed in 'em?
Stuffing. - Yep.
- So obvious, so boring, so 2000 and late teen!
- Uh-huh!
Spread those turkey legs. - Oh.
- It's time to innovate.
Putting Things in Things: Turkey Edition.
- After we put strange things in water filters,
coffee makers, and toasters, we asked should we stop there?
And then we said no because we haven't put strange things
in turkeys yet. - Right.
- So here we are.
With the help of Mythical Chef Josh,
we have placed some non-traditional items inside a turkey,
cooked them for four hours at 350 degrees,
and we will now enjoy the benefits of our labor.
- Now obviously Rhett and I will not be eating
all of the turkeys we're gonna be sampling,
so the crew has eagerly volunteered to take home
anything that's left over.
Also we've partnered with a great charity Midnight Mission.
They help feed and provide a safe environment
to the homeless here in Los Angeles
and we're gonna be donating $1000 to help them
feed the homeless this Thanksgiving,
and if you'd like to donate as well,
visit MidnightMission.org for more information.
- All right let's get to that first turkey.
(turkey gobbling)
Those perfectly cooked turkeys in commercials
always look watermelon-shaped to me,
so this makes sense, right?
Show us what you've done, Josh.
- The most common cooking question I get asked
is how you shove an entire watermelon
inside of a turkey's anal cavity.
And there's two answers, one, sheer force of will.
You gotta have heart.
Two, olive oil.
It's gonna be just one big push, you ready?
On three, one, two.
(turkey cracks)
Oh, what was that crack?
I know what you guys are thinking about
this watermelon turkey, the seeds are gonna be disgusting.
It's a seedless watermelon.
- That's exactly what I was thinking.
- Oh, I'm gonna need a moment to recover from
that visceral experience.
- That (clicks tongue), that knock noise
that a turkey makes when you stuff a watermelon up its butt.
- And look, she came out the other side.
- Wow.
- Okay so then we just need to carve it.
- Thank you, Link.
Yeah, you know what, do you wanna grab the watermelon
and pull it out?
- Uh, yeah.
There's nothing more satisfying than a clean vaginal birth.
- It's not gonna come out on its own.
- Do we need to do a C-section?
- (chuckles) No, it's crowning, as you can see.
All right, yep, there you go.
Grab it by the head.
Use those forceps as your mom calls 'em.
- I got it.
- Okay, you feel free to have at it with that.
Let's just see if any of the--
- Smells like turkey. - Watermelon flavor
transferred to-- - Oh that is greasy.
- The turkey. - And let's see if any of
the turkey transferred to the watermelon.
Like cutting a saddle.
- Good gracious. - Oh wow.
- Ooh look at that watermelon.
- Can you move that away 'cause--
- Yeah, yeah.
- I'm not the only one getting crazy with the knife.
Look at that, it looks like a really sad, dead watermelon.
- How's that taste?
Oh it's so juicy.
- Well first of all, can I say that this turkey
is very dry.
There's nothing watery about it.
- Well tell that to Josh.
- And it doesn't taste like anything except turkey,
so there's no melony part of the turkey either, right?
- Oh wow.
That watermelon has transformed.
(crew laughs)
Oh my, that's incredible how much turkey transferred
to the watermelon. - Oh my gosh.
- That's what happened.
It's like it's been absorbing turkey fat.
- [Link] It's a turkey-flavored watermelon.
- If you're into that kinda thing. (chuckles)
Now you know how to do it.
- Next up, a foot-long turkey sub.
Yeah we wanted to go Inception on this one.
Can you take a foot-long turkey sub sandwich,
make its home inside a turkey
and then make that turkey home taste even more turkey?
- Hmm.
- Take it away, Josh.
(whimsical music)
- Look Mom, I'm a sandwich artist.
Do you love me now?
- When we conceptualized all of this,
I didn't know it was gonna feel this way.
- I did. (laughs)
- So we've got the turturken in front of us.
- You know what, I know just from what happened last time
that this flavor's not gonna make it all the way up here.
In fact, a lot of people think that that's what happens
when you put anything inside, stuffing inside of a turkey,
but it's really about what the turkey does
to the thing that you put inside it.
So Link, do the honors.
- It literally just looks like more turkey.
- Oh did you hear that?
I love the turkey sounds.
We could make a whole soundtrack.
- Let's turn this away, I don't--
- No, people need to see this.
Use your hands!
Josh used his hands,
you should use your hands to get it out.
- I feel-- - Get as much sub as you can.
Oh, oh.
- Whew!
I'm having an internal crisis of conscience.
- I feel like I have to slice this.
- [Link] Yeah, slice it.
- Okay, there you go-- - It looks like there's--
- Cross-section. - Crab in it.
What is that?
- That's how you make crab.
- (laughs) This is how crabs are made, kids.
- Kids thinks crabs are natural but no,
crabs are made from putting turkey subs into turkeys.
Oh look at, oh! - Doesn't that look like
a little bit of crab?
- [Rhett] Is that turkey blood on my turkey sub?
- [Josh] Pass.
(laughs and groans)
- This is becoming-- - I'm not gonna eat that part.
I'm gonna eat the crab part.
- I just don't feel that well.
- Don't think of it as what it is.
Think of it as crab (chuckles).
- Some really exotic crab.
- That's some really not fishy crab.
- If you've ever eaten a really soggy turkey sub,
imagine that with like a lot more turkey flavor.
That's what this is.
- There was nothing advisable about this.
Next up, chocolate cake.
Every Thanksgiving I eat so much food for dinner
that by the time dessert comes around,
I don't have any room for it.
So we snuck it into the main dish.
Hit us with it, Josh.
- As the old saying, you can't have your cake
and also your turkey when that cake is shoved inside
of that turkey and eat it too.
Well now you can.
I hate what's happening as much as you do.
Believe me, there's no joy that I take in doing this.
Okay make eye contact with me while I'm doing this.
Thank you.
(Rhett laughs)
- See, it's getting weird for everybody.
Even you.
- You're about to invent a new dance.
- When Josh starts to feel weird,
red flags are flying.
- Okay Link. - I can't be the guy,
I'm not your guy anymore.
- You're not the pull-out guy anymore?
- No.
- Somebody's gotta be the pull-out guy.
All right, coming around.
- I mean, the way you're relishing in this opportunity.
I guarantee you'll feel different
once you pop it on that plate.
- Once I touch it? - That's what happened to me.
- First of all, does this bring anything to mind?
That looks like a turkey had an accident.
Go on top there, really rake it out.
- Going to my happy place.
I'm on a Ferris wheel overlooking the beach.
- It's like we pulled out its black heart.
- That is just a cake, man.
Don't you feel different now?
- No, I feel great, man.
- Your mom is watching.
- Yeah she's proud.
- All right your fork's over there.
- She likes it when I get creative.
- Now Josh is, you know,
the point of dressing he told us,
was that there's aromatic scent,
like celery and onions and it comes up through the meat.
And the question is does chocolate do the same thing?
- It perfumes the meat.
- Perfumes the meat so-- - Why don't you try the leg?
- Not the breast but a little bit of the leg here.
I'll just use this.
I feel like a barbarian.
Here, taste it.
- I was gonna taste some of the cake, but.
- Not a hint of chocolate.
Sorry.
How much hint of turkey in the chocolate cake is there?
Can't eat that turkey.
I don't like turkey.
I don't know if I should go on record and say that
but I never eat turkey at Thanksgiving.
- Does that surprise you at all?
- I'm a ham man, I've already told you this.
- This is not bad.
It's not bad at all, it really didn't get
that much turkey in it.
- It may have.
But it was so moist.
This is potentially the best chocolate cake I've ever eaten.
And I'm not exaggerating 'cause I don't like cake either.
Next up, a turkey stuffed with a football.
There ain't nothing like stuffing your face
with turkey meat while watching a bunch of meat heads
toss a pigskin around. - That's right.
- And today we smushed these traditions
even closer together.
Josh, would you kindly stick a football inside of
a turkey for us?
(football smacks wall) (Josh yells)
- When the pass doesn't work, you hand the ball off.
Shout out Big Ten Football.
(grunts)
Here we go, I'm just gonna tie the legs around this,
roast it like that.
This is disgraceful-- - Oh gosh.
- Well apparently he got it back in there (chuckles).
- I thought you were gonna--
- That was an incredible throw.
- Right with the throw. - I mean could you imagine
the noise that would have made?
(slurps)
(laughs)
- [Link] So here is the turtouchdown.
- Yep, I'm the certified puller now.
- You are, you are in the right--
- But I wanna make a moment out of this.
- Do you?
- Move 32!
(mutters)
What are some of the football terms?
(crew yells)
Omaha, 32, 46!
Ugh, hut, hut, hut, hut, hike!
Come on center, let go of it.
(Rhett grunts)
(Link sighs)
Oh God.
Oh.
I don't know.
Lick that. (laughs)
Man, you gotta lick it.
You gotta lick it.
(chuckles)
- I just watched what happened when you licked it.
- Yeah yeah but you got to.
You gotta know what it feels like.
Something happened.
Something potentially toxic.
- Kids, if anyone comes up to you and says those words,
just run.
Don't do what I'm about to do.
- You gotta lick it, you gotta know
what it feels like. - Lick his football.
(chuckles)
- [Rhett] Ugh, can you believe that?
- I'm actually tasting the football.
- Right. - Not the turkey.
- The football sweated it out.
- It's the black dots.
I think the black dots were going into my buds.
- It's just pigskin, man.
We can't not find out if the-- (turkey tearing)
(sputters) (crew laughs)
We can't not find out if it tastes like football. (chuckles)
- You're demented, man.
You're my friend.
- Are you ready for some football!
(Link laughs)
- He's gone Hank Junior, you know what that means.
That's a good tasting turkey leg.
- Finally, a suit.
In the south we call stuffing dressing
which is why this one is very fitting.
- We gotta get every top part of a
three-piece suit in there.
Imagine if you got dressed every day
by pulling your outfit out of a turkey's butt hole.
That'd actually save me a lot of time.
Now that's what I call dressing.
(smacks turkey)
- Well Link, I've been told that this suit
is too small for me (laughs).
So-- - But let me guess.
Not for me?
- Everything fits you right off the rack, man.
- You do hate me for that. - Yep.
I do, it always makes me mad but now
there's a little payback.
(turkey cracks)
- Starting to love that sound now.
I've become inoculated to this entire experience.
- That's the jacket, that's the shirt,
and that's the tie.
Oh, it's pre-tied.
- Oh my gosh. - Boy it smells
like a turkey.
- Of course I could unbutton all the buttons,
but what's the fun in that?
- Oh no.
It's so greasy.
Oh gosh.
(Link groans)
- It should slice right on.
- It definitely slides.
Hey, pretty cool funeral, huh?
(crew laughs)
Gonna need a-- - If you showed up somewhere
in that with somebody being, oh please,
no, no, no, no.
- Hey, man.
- The last thing you would guess is,
you know what, I think that man had that suit
inside of a turkey.
- I think if I stumble around, just makes more sense.
You know it's like, (moans).
(moans) Am I at the right funeral?
(groans) (chuckles)
- The smell is unbelievable.
Show the back.
The back's got some choice. (chuckles)
- [Link] Good for you, man.
- Look at that, that's where it really got it.
- Lick it!
- Okay.
- I licked the football for you.
- Okay well-- - Oh yeah this is--
- Can't do this with, oh.
- It's quite refreshing, pungent.
Okay.
- All right.
- This is the moment.
This episode is the moment where GMM took the turn.
The irrevocable turn.
- You know what?
- Just in time for the holidays.
- [Rhett] A certain percentage of you
stopped eating meat today. (chuckles)
- And a larger percentage of you
stopped watching this video earlier today.
- We've done our service for the world.
- I'm not tasting it.
- It tastes a little more formal.
- Oh, does it? - Yeah.
- All right don't forget about the cake.
Do that, other stuff leave to us.
Thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi I'm Josh. - And I'm Janie.
- And we're in Manitou Springs, Colorado
in front of the GMM billboard.
I've located a woman.
- And now we've got some turkeys in a trash can.
♪ We are a turkey in a trash can ♪
- [Together] And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- I love it!
- Excuse me, sir, ma'am, are you trying
to throw your children away?
No, no, no, it's an internet thing.
Trust us.
Click the top link to watch us try
your favorite leftover turkey hacks in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where the
Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land.
- [Rhett] Woo!
Sample our scent by purchasing a sample of
our Mythical Number Nine fragrance, that is.
Available now at Mythical.store.