-At a rally in Iowa over the weekend,
GOP front-runner and four-time indictee Donald Trump
claimed in an unhinged and "uncoher--"
incoherent -- excuse me -- incoherent.
That's a good one to trip -- Trump -- over.
[ Laughter ]
Certainly takes the fastball off
going after someone's incoherence
when you're like, "That guy's 'incohernent.'"
[ Laughter ]
Hey, I'm -- The difference is, I own up to it.
[ Laughter ]
I'm not like, [As Trump] "'Incohernent,'
or 'incoherent,' as some people say."
[ Laughter ]
"I've heard it both ways -- 'incoherent' and 'incohernent.'"
[ Laughter ]
"The Canadian Dictionary accepts 'incohernent.'"
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] At a rally in Iowa over the weekend,
GOP front-runner and four-time indicted Donald Trump
claimed, in an unhinged and incoherent rant [Clicks tongue]
[ Laughter ]
...that he will somehow redo the 2020 election
and that he would win in a "land-sky--"
Jesus Christ. [ Laughter ]
But the thing is, I don't want to be president.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
No, I'm going to go from the end.
Don't worry, Wally. You don't have to go back.
"Land-sky" -- you know what that means, right?
It's "landslide." Landslide.
If Jesus was the scorekeeper, he's a normal guy,
this is normal stuff. For more on this,
it's time for "A Closer Look." ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Before we get to all that,
I do want to bid a brief farewell to George Santos
before the world forgets about him,
which is, sadly, already happening.
In fact, just to show you how quickly the world
has moved on from the Santos era,
staff at the Capitol removed the plaque from outside his office
and changed the locks on his door...
[ Laughter ]
...almost immediately after he was expelled.
And as a New Yorker, I'm really impressed
they got building maintenance to do anything that quickly.
The last time I locked myself out of my apartment,
I had to just move. [ Laughter ]
Also, it's one thing to take the nameplate down,
but changing the locks that quickly
is a real tip of the hat to how shady that guy is.
They were worried he would sneak back into his own office
after he was expelled. His last official act
was making impressions of his keys in a bar of soap.
And Santos, for his part, made a quick exit.
He bolted from the Capitol before the vote was even over,
got into a getaway car, and drove off into the sunset,
where he burst into a thousand butterflies.
And he was conspicuously silent
for a guy who seemed to relish the notoriety he gained.
His only statement was a fashion statement.
He decided to embody the role of soap-opera villain
by wearing his overcoat like a "Phantom of the Opera" cape.
Of course, Santos is such a bad con man,
if he did wear a "Phantom of the Opera" mask,
it would probably just look like the other half of his face.
And sorry, real quick, did you just never need glasses?
Was that also a thing that wasn't a thing?
You're a weird dude, George Santos,
if that's your real name.
Throughout his brief time in Congress,
Santos has become an expert at giving breathless answers
while being chased by hordes of reporters.
But as he escaped the Capitol for the last time on Friday,
he ignored all the questions.
-We are waiting to see if he says anything there.
Let's listen in.
Nope. Jumped in the car,
closed the door, windows rolled up.
-Mr. Santos, any comment? Mr. Santos, any comment?
-"Mr. Santos, any comment? Mr. Santos?
Hold on, Mr. Santos. That's my car.
Wait, that's my car. Come back.
Mr. Santos, my dog is in there!"
Apparently, Santos had only one brief parting comment
for reporters before he fled the Capitol.
-For his part, Santos told reporters,
"Why would I want to stay here? To hell with this place."
-Okay, "Bachelor" contestant in back of a limo,
trying to convince us
she's happy she didn't get a rose.
You can't break up with that. They broke up with you.
So that is how one of the most bizarre chapters
in American politics came to an end
and how one of this country's most infamous con men
slinked away in disgrace.
Of course, one can't help but notice the obvious difference
between the GOP's treatment of George Santos
and its treatment of Donald Trump,
because that's how Donald Trump should have left the Capitol --
locked out of his office, hounded by reporters,
and fleeing in the back seat of a nondescript compact car,
with his knees crunched up against his chest.
Because even with everything Santos
has been credibly accused of, none of it comes close
to the crimes committed by Donald Trump.
Sure, Santos spent campaign funds on Botox and OnlyFans,
claimed he was a star volleyball player at Baruch College,
and wore a stolen scarf to a Stop the Steal rally.
But there was only a Stop the Steal rally
to wear stolen goods to because Trump tried
to overturn an election and end constitutional democracy
in America. I would be thrilled
if the worst thing Trump did was spend campaign money
on Botox and Sephora. Then, at least, he'd have
clear skin and beautiful, plump lips.
[ Laughter ]
Instead, Trump remains the GOP front-runner for president
and is openly promising to install himself
as a dictator who will use the levers of power
to exact revenge on his political opponents.
For example, at a rally in Iowa over the weekend,
an increasingly deranged and incoherent Trump
claimed that somehow, through the courts or something,
he would redo the 2020 election.
Although honestly, it's very hard to follow what he's saying.
-I got indicted four times
because I'm questioning a crooked election.
But we're not questioning it. We know the results. We know it,
And when we go through courts, if we ever even have to do it --
because you have presidential privilege
and also -- if we ever -- we should never have to do that.
But if we do, we want to redo the election,
only from the standpoint, we want that election --
we want to look at it very carefully.
We have so much information.
There was so much corruption in that election.
-You know, Republicans like to claim
Joe Biden is in cognitive decline,
but this dude is in a cognitive freefall.
[ Laughter ]
It sounds like his plan is to win the 2024 election
so he can redo the 2020 election and win that,
which would then make him ineligible
to win the 2024 election he already won,
at which point, he -- I don't know --
starts fading out of inauguration photos
Marty McFly-style.
[ As Trump ] Oh, no! [ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] I'm sorry, but if it's a choice
between two different types of old,
I'll take Biden old over Trump old every day.
Tripping up the stairs is one thing,
but Trump's the one walking around saying
he wants to redo an election that happened
three years ago, like a nursing home grandpa
who still thinks he's in a tent in Khe Sanh.
[ Laughter ] Also, no, you got nothing.
And that's not just me saying it.
That's over 60 courts and your own lawyers,
several of whom have already pleaded guilty
and apologized for lying about the election,
like Jenna Ellis or Sidney Powell,
Trump's kookiest lawyer, who looked at her mugshot
like she was in a staring contest
with the ghost of Rudy Giuliani. [ Laughter ]
In fact, even Rudy, arguably Trump's closest ally,
when it comes to election lies,
admitted, "We got lots of theories.
We just don't have the evidence."
And this is a guy... [ Laughter ]
This is a guy who recently filmed
a Thanksgiving episode of his Internet show
with a fake fireplace behind him
that made it looked like flames were coming out of his head.
[ Laughter ]
Although I think that's what actually happens to Rudy's head
when you ask him to do lawyer stuff.
[As Giuliani] Oh, my brain's overheating!
Quick, grab me one of the spare brains by the hearth!
[ Normal voice ] Those aren't brains, Rudy, those are gourds.
[As Giuliani] They'll have to do!
[ Normal voice ] But, of course, nothing can stop Trump
from claiming he won, because he's deeply delusional.
Over the weekend, he put a new twist on his election line
that somehow made it even more deranged.
Although again, listen closely
to this completely incoherent rant
and see if you can make any sense out of it.
-And like in 2016, we just ran
the whole East Coast of the country,
and that made up for California, which I actually believe
that if they didn't have rigged elections out there,
if they didn't have all the paper about -- you know,
they send out like 36 million ballots,
and nobody knows where the hell they're going to or coming from.
I think a few people know where they're going to,
and a few people know where they're coming from.
But I think if you had a real election,
and Jesus came down and God came down
and said, "I'm gonna be the scorekeeper here,"
I think we'd win there, I think we'd win in Illinois,
and I think we'd win in New York.
-Now, I think -- [ Laughter ]
I think, if God and Jesus came down here,
they'd take one look at Trump and say,
"Enough of this heathen and his ravings.
Bring us to the candidate the evangelicals support.
What's that?
It's him?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."
I also think, if God came down,
Trump would somehow find a way to lie about that, too.
It wouldn't be enough for God Himself to come down to earth.
Trump would have to embellish the story
to make himself look good -- better than God, even.
[ As Trump ] I remember, one time, God came up to me --
big God, strong God --
tears pouring down His celestial face
and running onto His flowing, heavenly robes.
And he said to me -- he said, "Donald, you won the election.
Now touch my finger like Adam."
And I said, "No, thanks, I'm a germophobe,
and I feel like you've touched a lot of sick people."
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] In fact, this rally was so deranged
and the lies were so flagrant, even Fox News cut away
and fact-checked Trump.
[ Crowd cheers ] -And then -- No.
-Well, the former president finally got around
to some campaign promises amid lots of cheering,
as you heard. Many untruths.
The 2020 election was not rigged.
It was not stolen.
-I mean, even Fox cut away and called him a liar.
The official 24/7 Trump network.
That's like the San Diego Zoo cutting away from its panda cam
and putting up a disclaimer that says, "That's not a panda.
It's a former congressman dressed up as one."
[ Laughter and applause ]
The saga of George Santos proves that the Republican Party
is capable of expelling fraud, liars, and criminals
from their ranks. In Trump's case,
they just refused to do it, because
it's politically expedient to remain loyal to him,
even if he's threatening to destroy
constitutional governance in America.
What happened to George Santos
is what should have happened to Donald Trump,
although there's still a very good chance Santos comes back
and runs for Congress again, claiming his name isn't George,
it's... -Jesus.
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
Hey, everybody, thanks for watching "A Closer Look."
And as a reminder,
my brother Josh and I have started a new podcast,
called "Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers."
We hope you listen, we hope you like it.
And see you soon.