Phil: Let's do this mates
Phil: When will we all be free of our old branding?
Dan: Not today Philly, 'cause it's that special time-
Dan: that sp-
Phil: There you go
Dan: special time of year!
Phil: *whispers* Let's do it!
Dan: But is it still "Phil is not on fire" because Dan re-branded, I mean, what is it now?
Dan: Ph-Ph-Philiel Howell or what?
Phil: No
Phil: I guess no matter what you will always be danisnotonfire
Dan and Phil: *laughter* Dan: NOOO!
Phil: Did you miss this tickle?
Phil: *laughter*
Dan: Did- Phil: It tickles in a good way! Dan: "Did you miss this tickle?" is the creepiest thing
Dan: anyone could ever say to anyone Phil: Look...
Dan: I did miss the smell... *inhales* Phil: Yeah
Dan: here we go- oh Jesus Phil: Sniff it up
Dan: Blugh! IT'S IN MY MOUTH IT'S IN MY EYES
Dan: WOOO! HERE WE GO!
Phil: Whisker Dan: Ooo! Good scrape
Phil: Whisker Dan: Oh damn that's some exfoliation
Phil: Whisker! Dan: Pores who? I don't know her!
Phil: That's good!
Phil: I want this to be a whiskery work of art! *punch sound* Oww!!
Dan: Whisk uno! Phil: Bom!
Dan: Whisk duo! Phil: Bink!
Dan: Whiskin' the tri! Phil: Blam!
Phil: They're good Dan: Thank you
Phil: They're quite long Dan: You're an aged cat, and I'm a little kit!
Dan: MLEUGH!
Phil: What is the sexiest name out there?
Dan: G-Gr-
Dan: Greg!
Phil: Greg?!
Dan: Nothing gets me riled like a hard G
Phil: Stop! Dan: Don't define that in your head
Dan: Try to jump-scare each other at some point in the video
Phil: Challenz a-- Challenz??
Dan: Challenz aptepblinkabom Phil: Challenz accepted
Dan: Watch me, dad! Phil: Go! Dan: Crow pose!
Dan: Fringe or quiff? Phil: Fuiff!
Dan: ARM WRESTLE EACH OTHER! Phil: Bring it on!
Dan: Are you ready Phil: Yea! Dan: umbrrrrrrraahhhh let's do this! Phil: Brrrrr-
Phil: brratch out- Dan: Broskate! Phil: for my brrrrarms
Dan and Phil: *laughing*
Phil: we need a-a hard surface Dan: Your mum
Dan and Phil: *laughing*
Phil: Wh- what does that even mean?
Phil: I'm right handed! Dan: Well, I'm just making it clear that I'm left-handed
Phil: Well that means that that's your left hand... [cricket noises]
Phil: *laughing* Oh that's your right!
Phil: That's my right, that's my left, this is your right!
Dan: This is why Phil doesn't drive a car! Phil: I don't know anything!
Phil: What is the plural of goose? Gooses or geeses?
Dan: wait-
Phil: *northern accent* GO!
[Horn sounds] [dramatic music]
[dramatic music]
Phil: Place your bets now! [dramatic music]
Phil: OH!
Phil: Dan wins!
Dan: Reenact Stranger Things
Phil: I am Eleven, give me some Eggos! Dan: *Demogorgon snarl*
Dan: *squealing* Phil: I'm having a nosebleed!
Dan: How would you celebrate your birthday?
Phil: Water slide of marshmallows!
Dan: Recreate the Steven Universe opening
Dan and Phil: *singing* We are the crystal gems
Dan: *singing* we'll always find a day! Phil: *singing* we'll always save the way!
Dan and Phil: Save the way!?!?!
Dan: Find a day?? Phil: I tried! I tried.
Dan: *Deep and gurgled* AAAAAA
Dan: Convince my mum, Jackie, to go to Interactive Introverts!
Phil: Look Jackie, don't be wacky Dan: Oh he went there
Phil: come to our tour, it won't be a... bore Dan: Don't be a bore!
Phil: That was where I was going with it!
Dan: *mumbling* you'll have a good time and... stuff Phil: please come to our tour
Dan: *quiet and high pitched* please come?? It'll be fun???
Dan: "Can y'all do the crab walk up the stairs?" Can y'all want us to freaking die or what??
Phil: This'll be the last video of me on the internet! Dan: No, we're not do- we're not doing that!
Phil: I could do it! Dan: Go on then!
[transitional sound effect] Dan: *singing* Crab time activate! Flex that spine!! Phil: Can't do it. Ugh got one!
Dan: Oh Jesus, oh my God that's so precarious Phil: Two!
Phil: Augh fu- Dan: Nonononono okay stop!
Dan: Stop! Phil: Owww my bum! Dan: Stop, cancel! Phil: And my- my elbow!
Dan: *mumbling* Do an impression of the YouTuber and see if the other person can guess it just from the impression.
Phil: Hi! My name is [DA-
Dan: Oh f*beep* off! f*beep*ing hell really?? Phil: *laughing*
Phil: That's the.. Dan: Really!? Phil: That's a... Dan: Really?!
Phil: That was the youtuber! Dan: For God's sake!
Phil: Danis snot on fiyaa
Phil: Dan, you're slime. Phil you're a famous slime Instagram account. Satisfy us! Dan: Excuse me??
Phil: Shall I be an ASMR slime channel? Dan: I don't know I--I don't-- okay he's touch-
[Fireside plays] Phil: Grab hold of your slime, and massage it, and shove your fingers deep-
Dan: DON'T SHOVE YOUR FINGERS ANYWHERE!
Phil: Slime!
Dan: RACE each other to see who can tie a tie the fastest! Phil: Obvs me!
Phil: What if it's a... TIE? Dan and Phil: GOOOOHHHHHHHH!!
Dan: *sound of Dan choking himself*
Dan: Hey Phil why the hell do you drink out of a vase? Phil: I don't know what you're talking about.
Dan: Three, two, one, GO!
[Mariachi music]
Phil: oh my god [Mariachi music]
[Mariachi music]
Phil: Oh! [Mariachi music]
[Mariachi music]
Phil: There done! [Mariachi music]
[Mariachi music]
Dan: OH MY GOD IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME TIME! WHAT THE FRICK?! Phil: It was a tie! It was an actual tie!
Phil: Do Jughead's "I'm a weirdo" monologue.
[dramatic music] Dan: In case you haven't noticed: I'm weird. I'm a weirdo.
[dramatic music] Phil: *laughs* Dan: I don't fit in.
[dramatic music] Dan: I don't WANT to fit in.
[dramatic music] Dan: *heavy breathing*
[dramatic music] Dan: Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on?
[dramatic music] Dan: IT'S WEEIRRRRRDDDDD!!!
Phil: Are we all just dogs having a horrible nightmare of being human? Dan: *inhales dramatically*
Dan: Do a Truth Bomb! [#spon sound effect] Phil: *lightly muffled* What a great game!
Phil: What would you buy me in a Secret Santa??
Dan: A b- box of cereal filled with knives! Phil: Why??
Dan: Because then maybe you'd learn your lesson,
Dan: Lester! Phil: Well luckily I like the taste of KNIVES!
Dan: BAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Phil: *Jumps like a Frightened Deer*
Dan: Oh, forgot about that didn't you!
Phil: That was horrible! Dan: *singing* Philly forgot about the first question!
Dan: PHIL! You suddenly have a dog! Quick, name it!
Phil: Peter! ... Wha?
Phil: that's such a rubbi- It's an alright dog name!
Phil: Daniel, pretend to be a merman while Phil is a sailor at sea.
Dan: Oh no...
*nautical music* Phil: Yarr, be gone with ye, ye squiggly mer-fiend!
Dan: Hey there, Seaman Phil: Nooo...
Dan: Wanna inspect my gills? Phil: No!
Phil: Stop it! Dan: That is the worst thing I've ever said
Dan: Do an intermission dance
[intermission music]
Dan: Choose a random photo in the other person's phone and try to expose them
Phil: OHHH!
Phil: What is it?
Phil: NOOOOO!!! Dan and Phil: *laughing*
Phil: That was too cringe to post!!
Phil: I was just checking out my outfit! Dan: Look at that pose!
Phil: Ohhh, stop it Dan: Was that a front-camera as well?
Phil: Yes.. Dan: You were like, "I think I look nice in this jacket!" Phil: *muffled* Oh, stop!
Phil: Okay, I need my revenge, I need- *sinister laughter*
Dan: I don't wanna know. Phil: *laughter* Dan: What?
[fail sound effect]
Dan: NOOOO!!!!
Dan: That doesn't count! That was me testing the f-
Phil: Oh, "testing" Dan: F- Oh for God's sake
Dan: It was! I was like- Phil: Just caught me resting my hand
Dan: Shut up!
[intermission music]
Phil: What am I doing? *laughs*
Phil: Dan, you're a newscaster and the world's about to end!
Dan: *singing* Celebrate good times come on! Phil: Oh ya!
Dan: Wear the cheese costume [dramatic music] for the next question! Phil: Oh no. Why?!
Dan: Make a dad joke about the item closest to you
Phil: Cheese? Uhhh...
Phil: You could just call me "Red Leicester" *bah dum tss*
Dan: *groans* Phil: *chuckles*
Phil: Dan, wear the cheese costume!
Dan: Are you joking? Phil: No, that's what the question is! Dan: *groaning loudly*
Phil: How does it feel? Dan: Like my self-esteem is full of holes.
Phil: Phil, G-note Dan!
Dan: Okay, I know what that refers to but that sounds really inappropriate so-
Phil: *G-note* (actually a B) Dan: *panicked noises*
Phil: Come here a sec? Dan: What?
Phil: The um- I've done something to my notes app, it's being-
Phil: RAAHHHH Phil: *laughter*
Phil: *clapping* I got you!!
[dramatic music]
Phil: I didn't think I was gonna get you in the video!
Dan: *screeches* AS CHEESE?! Phil: As cheese!
Phil: Double points! Dan: How could you?!
Phil: YASSS
Phil: For some reason it's even more disturbing when you wear it
Phil: so please get changed
Dan: Ripped jeans and cheese! Phil: Stop!
[runway music] Dan: 2018 trends comin' at ya!
Phil: Do the next chayn- chaynal?
Phil: chaynal? chaynal?? anal???
Phil: Do to the-- *laughs* do the next question in the gaming channel room!
Dan: OHHH! Phil: How random! Dan: QUIRKY!
Dan: Pick an outfit from your own closet and dress the other person. Phil: *chuckles menacingly*
Dan and Phil: *American accent* Closet!
Phil: I mean, this seems like a normal shirt Dan: Stand up, show us Phil.
Phil: until...
Phil: DUN DUN DUUUUN! Dan: AWOOWOOOO!
Dan: Oh yes, Phil! Phil: But it's so long!
Dan: Good flesh exposition!
Dan: You look like a weird vampire version of Phil. Phil: I don't think the cat whiskers help.
Phil: Come on Dan!
Dan: This could not be less appropriate for me. Phil: It suits you!
Dan: Look at this sh- *beep* Phil: It's amazing!
Dan: *seductively* Omelette du fromage
Phil: *shouting* What are you?!
Dan: An idiot sandwich!
Dan: Hey Lester, Phil: Hey.. Dan: try to do a leg-dab!
Phil: A leg dab?!
[airhorn sound effect] Dan and Phil: *laughing*
Dan: Bread fight! Phil: Ahh!!
Dan: You lose! Phil: Why do I lose all the fights?!
Phil: Dan, do the Pennywise dance
[jazz music] Dan: *strange snorting noises*
Phil: Dan will you straighten your hair one last time? Dan: No
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music] Phil: No! My liege!
[dramatic music]
Phil: *laughs*
Dan: *gurgling sounds*
Phil: Design each other tattoos Dan: The big M
Dan: [explosion sound]
Dan: This is the worst
Dan: imaginable scenario,
Dan: Phil giving someone a tattoo without them being able to see what's happening
Phil: What? It's not, it's perfect!
Dan: You're done? You're done already? Phil: I'm done, I'm done!
Phil: Yeah..
Phil: It's a rat! *laughs*
Phil: It's a reminder of your true self
Dan: Thank you. Phil: *dinging sound effect* Ding! Dan: It's beautiful
Phil: *singing to the tune of Destiny's Child's Bootylicious* I don't think I'm ready for this tattoo
It feels very squiggly
Dan: Mmmm
Phil: Are you just doing a squiggle?
Dan: Noooo
Dan: It's a- it's a fine... work of art
Phil: What is it? Dan: So you can ne-...
Dan: It's me!! Phil: *laughing* Oh yeah
Dan: So you can never forget who your bestest friend is
Phil: Awwww
Phil: BURN IT!
Dan: Phil, Phil: What? Dan: get a bottle of Ribena and recreate this
[Fireside plays] Phil: What?! I can't do that!
[Fireside plays] Dan: Come on Phil! Phil: Alright.
Dan: Flip it!
Dan and Phil: *laughing*
Phil: Never again!!
Phil: I'm deleting my channel!
*Dan still dying of laughter in the background*
Dan: After, Phil: Too much
Dan: nine years Phil: It's over
Dan: THAT was your lowest moment!
*Children cheering sound effect* Phil: Well there we go!
*Children cheering sound effect* Dan: Another year, a whole new bunch of stuff to regret!
Phil: Yes, let's try and scrub these whiskers off for about two weeks
Dan: Now before we go
Phil: Something you might not know
Dan: Very important Phil: Very exciting, we are going on tour next year
Dan: That's right! Dan and Philly
Dan: 2018 World Tour
Phil: Interactive Introverts
Dan: New stage show
Phil: Yeah!
We're going to all of these places on the screen now
Dan: Around basically the whole world
Phil: The website is danandphiltour.com if you want to get tickets
Dan: You can see where we're going, Phil: Yeah! Dan: when we're going
And get the tickets and then you can see us in real life
Phil: And it's something to get now to look forward to next year
Phil: A little treat for yourself Dan: It's something to live for
Dan: Dan and Phil Phil: Doesn't matter who you are, how old you are
Dan: Up in your face
Phil: You're gonna have a great time
Dan: Real life
Dan: action
Phil: Yeah
Dan: It's gonna be good
Phil: Yeah, promise
Dan: It's better than...
Dan: this
Dan: Not that this is bad
Dan: It's just different
Phil: it's different
Phil: So give us a big thumbs up if you enjoyed this video
Dan: I've got like 15 seconds of consciousness left Phil: Yeah
Dan: 'cause of these sharpie fumes
Phil: You can subscribe to Dan by clicking on his bubble Dan: Get crackin'. Thank you
Phil: Subscribe to me, clicking on mine Dan: Click there
Phil: Gaming channel's in the middle
Dan: A whole world of Dan and Phil content
Phil: *singing* A whole new world
Dan: And we'll see you next time if we survive
Phil: Goodbye! Dan: Bye!