- Oh. Whoa! Oh! - Ah! Ah.
- I think I hear hooves? (chuckles) This sounds like a big thing.
♪ (upbeat intro) ♪
- (FBE) So, in this episode, you are going to be competing
in our YouTubers Try Not To Touch Challenge.
- Oh, no! (chuckles) This is gonna be so bad.
- I'm a hands on kind of guy. - I know. (chuckles)
We unbox, so... - I feel like that's fairly
easy to do. You just have self-control.
- (FBE) Well, here's how this is gonna work:
We're gonna put a series of items in front of you
that you cannot touch. At the end of the challenge,
if you pass, we've got one very extra special thing for you,
but you only get to interact with it if you pass.
- Okay, so if I don't touch a lot of stuff, I get a reward?
- (FBE) Yes. - (laughs) Okay.
- So, I'm incentivized not to touch. I ain't touching anything,
I'll tell you right now. - (FBE) You ready to get
to your first thing? - Yes. I'm ready to not touch things.
I will sit here neutrally and not aggressively poke, stroke, or rub.
- (FBE) First off, for you, we're gonna give you something
you have to keep on throughout the entire challenge.
- (gasps) Don't do this. Really? That's messed up. I love these.
I grew up wearing these. And you know, you bite half of it,
and then you shoot the other half. - If you can fit it over my bald head,
that'd be great. Thank you. I'm not gonna touch it,
'cause I'm afraid Ethan's gonna suddenly strike me down.
- I'm going to forget that I can't touch this.
- Now I look like an E-girl, and I'm kind of into it, you know?
- It's cold and a little sticky, though. Not the best sensation.
- This is easy. - Easy! I don't need to touch this.
- No. - (rapid sniffing)
You said do not touch. You didn't say do not smell.
(sniffs) I can smell it. It smells good!
- Ask yourself this, though: Can we ever truly touch anything?
Everything around us is composed of electron.
(electricity buzzing) Those electrons repel other electrons
because of their same charges. And so, you never truly,
scientifically speaking, ever touch another thing.
So, technically, we all win this challenge.
Boom. Dab. - (FBE) I mean, I'm still not gonna
let you touch the things. - Okay, fine.
- (FBE) You ready for the next thing? Not touching the candy necklace?
- I'm not. What candy necklace? I don't even have one on.
- (FBE) All right. So, next up, we're gonna be playing you a song
from a music box... almost. - Almost?
♪ ("Twinkle Twinkle Little Star") ♪
- It's really pleasant. And royalty free.
- ♪ Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo ♪
- ♪ Twinkle ♪ - (both) ♪ Twinkle ♪
- (high-pitched) ♪ Little ♪ - Aww, you can't do that. (laughs)
- (laughs) - No way!
- (FBE) You guys wanna finish the song?
- ♪ How I wonder ♪ - (both) ♪ What you are ♪
- Done. - Finished it. Done!
- (laughs) - I have a one-year-old at home.
He's listening to, like, the first half of songs all the time.
This is par for the course. We're cutting off "Baby Shark"
before you get to Grandpa Shark, which I think is a big miss
on his part. - I remember the classic line
from Andy in The Office when he's singing in the elevator
and Pam cuts him off. He's like, "I gotta resolve the melody!"
Not me, though. - It's fine. I thought that something
was gonna jump out at me, and it was gonna get all over
my face, and then I'd have to wipe my face off.
- Oh, it's so little! It's so mini. And I love mini little things.
Nope. Nope. No! (deep voice echoing) No, Ro!
- I'm gonna be honest, that one was slightly difficult,
because I need closure. I'm really bad at that,
relationships, everything. - Nothing will break me.
I will be the final champion. Get outta here, little star.
You're not even big. - (FBE) All right.
We'll come grab it from you then. - Get that outta my face.
- (FBE) Next up for ya, sticking with our unsatisfying theme,
we've got a Rubik's Cube, but oh! Look at that!
It is just one move away from being solved.
- I like that this is literally just the Try Not To
Get Dissatisfied Challenge with touching.
- I feel so dumb that I actually don't know what the move is.
I'm gonna get flamed in the comments, but...
- (FBE) Oh, you just twist the top piece.
- Wow! That is-- - (Michael) Wait, is it?
- Oh yeah, 'cause it's-- yeah, all the way.
Orange has to go on this side. - Ooh, I almost touched it
like three times. - Uh-huh.
- You did it too. - No, I just--
- You did too. - Maybe a little bit. (laughs)
- Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
ohohohohoh! This has been the most tempting item
in front of me, because I have never solved a Rubik's Cube.
- I just about destroyed myself in middle school geometry
trying to do this, 'cause there was an extra credit thing
that said if you can complete one of these, your whole grade
goes up a full letter grade. And I just was like killing myself
over trying to figure out how to learn this thing.
I never wanna touch one of these dang things again.
- I know how to do a Rubik's Cube.
I've done a Rubik's Cube so many times.
- (FBE) Oh, can you show me? - No! Not with this one, not now.
- Why give myself the satisfaction of doing someone else's work?
- (gasps) - Who did this?
- (FBE) Our editor, Alyssa. - Wow, editor Alyssa, well done.
- I know what you look like in your final form,
and I don't need to see it again.
- Take it away! - Take it away!
- We're winning this challenge! We're actually doing good!
- (FBE) So yeah, next up, we've got the box full of, um...
I'm actually not gonna tell you.
- (laughs) - You're not gonna open it for us?!
- I open it up and see? - (FBE) No, no, no, no.
- Ah. Ohhh, that's messed up!
- Oh, this is like Let's Make a Deal now.
Do I want what's behind the curtain or do I want what's in the box?
- But what if he tricked us? - (woman) It's nothing, you fool!
- Schrodinger's present.
There is and is not a present in it all the time.
- (FBE) Can you hear it? - (gasps) Is it an animal?
- (clicking) - One of us can open it,
and then one of us loses. - So, if you lose--
- I'm not about to lose! - I wanna see the thing at the end.
- Maybe this is your moment, and you take one for the team.
And then, we can share it later when we go back to the office.
- It's Benny and Rafi's head, isn't it?
You open it up, it's like, "Oh, no!" - (FBE) Well, you were
just talking to one of them. - I haven't seen them
in the last two hours. - You don't really have to unwrap it.
You can just lift the lid. - (blowing)
- I'm not touching it. - (FBE) Not touching it?
- I'm not touching it. - Unboxers don't unbox?!
- Remove that box, sir. Thank you.
- (FBE) So, this next thing is something that you can
actually take home with you. We're just gonna give you a gift card.
- (laughs) - To Wendy's?
- Oh, you love Wendy's. - I like spicy nuggies.
- Oh, gosh. Okay. But you know what?
Wendy's, they... uh-- (sighs) They have great french fries.
Who am I kidding? - Oh, man!
How much is it? - (FBE) I don't know.
Turn it over. - I will find a way to find out
how much this gift card is worth without touching it.
- They're baiting us right now. - (whispers) If you just
blow it off the table... - (both blowing)
(soft thud) Boom-- dammit!
Follow me, cameraman!
(blowing)
Dammit! COME ON!
- Blow it on the floor, then once it flips over,
you can see it. - Michael, I don't care
about seeing it. I care about obtaining it.
- Throw this at the end of the table like that.
I'm gonna blow them, and I want you to close it
in the wallet. - (laughs)
- (Tanner blowing)
- Ooh, ooh! - (Tanner) Michael!
- That was too close. This is for your sake.
I don't like Wendy's. - This prize had better be amazing.
What could you give me that would be so satisfying
I'd be willing to forgo free food from Wendy's
for a questionable amount of money? - (FBE) I mean, that could be,
like, $5. - It could be, which is like
still five, like, Junior Frostys.
- (FBE) Oh, you can get a whole meal from that.
- I know. The $5 meal at Wendy's is fantastic #notspon.
Take it! - Good play, though.
- That was almost good. - Almost had it, yeah.
We were close. - I don't like that you bailed on me
last second. - Yeah, I got nervous.
- What if that was my whole compensation for the day? (laughs)
I just forfeited it. - We gotta go to the finale.
We have to! Ronnie, we've never won an actual challenge
on FBE. - Okay. I know. I know!
- Take it away from us! We don't need our Frostys!
- You know, it's the season of giving. Why don't you take it?
- (FBE) Gift from one Ethan to another.
- Exactly. - (FBE) We're only one thing away
from the grand finale. - (gasps)
- (FBE) We're getting there. - I can do it,
'cause my willpower is breaking
(cracking) right before our eyes.
- (FBE) So, for this last round before we get to the grand finale,
we're actually gonna be taking the table away from you guys.
- This is a big thing. - It's gotta be, right?
- Dude, it's gonna be a motorcycle! - An animal? A doggy?
- (FBE) So, this is a thing that actually might touch you.
You just can't touch it. - It's an animal?
- (FBE) It might be an animal. - That's not fair.
- God dang it! - (FBE) All right. This is June.
- (gasps) It's a puppy! - Oh my gosh. I can't do this.
- That's not fair. That's not fair. I have to squeeze this chair.
Squeeze-- (gasps) - June!
- June! - (both squeal)
- Get away from me, June! No, I'm sorry, baby!
- Aww, poor little baby. - She feels bad,
'cause I'm not petting her. - She's so soft! I know.
- She wants the support. - June, I have to do this
for me, all right? I need to prove to myself
that if I set my mind to something, I can follow through,
and I won't just give up 99% of the way through.
- I don't think June wants to touch me, honestly.
Why would I wanna touch something that doesn't wanna touch me?
- Oh my gosh! Hi! Hi, sweetie! (buzzer)
- I love you. (clicking) - Oh. Whoa!
Ohh! - Ah! Ah.
I have this thing with puppies. They just love me.
- I love you, and I respect you, but I do not care about you enough
to show you any love or affection. Do you understand?
I'm-- hey, that's you, not me, all right?
- (FBE) All right. So, with that in mind,
that was our final round,
so you guys have passed this challenge!
- (both) Yay! - Do we need to touch the final thing?
- Wooo! Self-restraint! - Wonderful.
- I won the challenge! That means I get the special prize.
- I won! - (FBE) You lost.
- Wait. That was the prize, right? - (FBE) No.
(chuckling) Oh, did we not make that clear?
- Oh my gosh. - (FBE) We're only one thing away
from the grand finale. So, this is a thing that actually
might touch you. You just can't touch it.
- I would have pet her anyways. See, this is my weakness.
Animals are my weakness. - (FBE) Well, now you get
to eat your candy necklace. - Oh. Cool.
- (FBE) Yeah. Do you wanna show us the spitting thing?
- Okay, so you bite one of 'em in half.
And then shoot it. (pew)
(thud) Pretty cool.
- (FBE) All right. Are you guys ready
for your prize? - (both) Yes.
- (FBE) What do you think it could be?
- I don't know. - I don't know!
I'm really confused. - (FBE) Do you wanna meet
what you would have gotten if you had won this challenge?
- (gasps) What? - (FBE) And, again,
remember, you lost, so no touching.
- Okay, no touching. No touching.
- (FBE) If you wouldn't mind closing your eyes,
so we can bring out our final guest.
- Oh, no. - I think I hear hooves? (chuckles)
This sounds like a big thing. - (FBE) All right, Ethan,
you can open your eyes. This is Isabella the alpaca.
- (softly) Oh my god! You're so soft.
- (FBE) She would like to say hello. - (gasps)
- It's-- (chuckles) It's an alpaca.
- This is so crazy. This is real Tan-man.
- (Isabella snorts) - (both) Ooh!
- Hey!
Hi.
- (both) Awww. - Jesus! Ah! (claps)
- This is pretty rad. - (FBE) Yeah?
- Screw dogs. I'm an alpaca man now.
- A Wendy's gift card almost took me away
from this. You know that? - (chuckles) On you.
Yeah, that would've been all on you. - Imagine getting spicy nuggets
instead of getting this spicy alpaca. - (Michael laughs)
- Ahhhh.
- (FBE) Worth it? - This is chinchilla levels
of worth it. This is even better than chinchilla,
'cause how often do you get an alpaca?
- Isabella, you might have to come over to my house sometime
just to chill. We'll watch some shows.
We'll watch Mandalorian together. - Dude, this is rad.
My girlfriend's gonna be so mad. (chuckles) Seriously.
- This is the best episode ever. - This is the best episode.
- What if we all just close our eyes and pretend that I didn't touch her,
but I get to hug her. And-- - (FBE) Uh, no, we can't do that.
- You can't stop friendship. You can't stop... me.
- Hey, guys. Thanks for watching us try not to touch.
- Please subscribe to all the human creators
and animal creators. Links are in the description.
- Can we say goodbye together? (vocalizes)
I don't know. What sound does an alpaca make?
Roo, rooo! - Bye! Thanks for watching!
- (whimpers) Isabella.