- Hey, everybody, happy hump day, or Wednesday,
or whatever you want to call it, middle of the week.
But it's Wednesday, and that's exciting,
and the weather has cooled a little bit,
and I'm also, I have my handy dandy ice pack,
keeping me cool so that
I can do this without sweating profusely.
So, when it's Wednesday, if you're new, welcome!
Thanks for checking out my channel.
On Wednesdays, I'm on the website,
which is katimorton.com,
and if you haven't checked it out,
you should do it, because it's awesome.
The way to find how to ask an FAQ on the website
is you go to Kati's Videos,
and then all the way down at the bottom it says
#katifaqsuggestions, and you go in there
and then you put your question in,
and many of you have answered each other's,
and that's really great,
and I've gotten in and answered some previously
to even selecting them,
and also on Wednesdays, I'm on Youtube,
so if you asked your questions on yesterday's video,
below that video, I've gone through and answered
a lot of those as well,
pretty much as many as I could
before I started sweating crazily.
I have four today, as well as a journal topic,
so for that singing with Celine.
So let's get going 'cause Wednesdays tend to
be a little longer so
I'll try to speak more succinctly.
Okay.
First question.
Hey Kati, I was wondering does stress,
can stress really cause you to vomit?
Or is it just my bulimia, but without me
actually helping it, if that makes any sense.
Can I do anything if it's just stress related?
Thank you.
I thought this was a great question I receive
a lot of these talking about maybe just
bending over and throwing up, or
feeling really stressed out and feeling nauseous.
And if you hear something it's because
there's awesome construction above us.
They're putting in carpet I assume or hardwood,
either way it's really, really loud.
But I can't wait all day, right?
So, when we get really stressed out our body
can do a lot of different things.
It can cause ulcers.
It can cause head aches.
It can make us really tired.
It can make us really irritable.
It can make it difficult for us to focus.
All sorts of things, right. (hammering)
Do you hear this? So,
It really depends on how
we manage it,
and where we focus our attention on.
Now those of us with eating disorders,
I find tend to focus on our stomachs.
Or, we will feel really nauseous
or we won't fell hungry.
Or we'll feel really hungry and we'll tend to
binge when we get stressed out.
And it tends to be all around food.
So, chances are that it is your stress that's
making it worse because you're not
actually having to (Hammering)
induce the vomiting.
I'm working here. Ah. (hammering)
So, because you're not actually inducing it,
it probably is related to the stress.
However, it is because of our eating disorder
that we're having that having that kind of a symptom.
And this is just in my experience,
but I would first of all go to your physician and
get checked out because we want to make
sure that there's nothing else going on.
There could be a bacterial infection.
There could be all sorts of different things.
But we want, we could have an ulcer.
I don't know, but only a doctor can actually tell
us that so I would get checked out from them
and if you feel like it really is stress
related, like your stress has really gone up.
I feel like he's (hammering)
right above me.
Then I would definitely use some relaxation
techniques, I have a bunch of videos on my channel
about ways to relax, breathing techniques, some
yoga stuff, so you can check all those out and try
to use it as much as you can.
Okay? (Moan) okay.
Keep, I will continue on.
Question number two.
Hi Kati, there is something I've been wondering
about for a while.
Is relapse okay?
I've been in recovery from self injury
for about two years.
Yay!
And I recently slipped up a few times.
Does this mean that I'm back at square one?
Thanks.
Now I wanted to answer this because regardless
of the fact of whether or not you're
new to my channel or not,
I know that I've talked about
slip ups and recovery and it being a process
and not perfection.
But I haven't talked about it recently
and so for any of you newer folks I wanted
to address this.
Recovery from anything,
whether it be anxiety, depression,
eating disorder, self harm,
whatever it is that we're (hammering)
really struggling with.
Are you done?
It's okay to slip up.
That's part of the process.
Nobody is perfect.
We aren't expected to just go from just
doing something all the time to cope
to never doing it again.
But we're going to try to not.
And we are going to put it off as long as we can.
We're going to distract, we're going to use our tools.
We're gonna call our support team.
We're going to do all our things,
and yeah, we're human, we're going to slip up,
but it's okay.
Not all is lost.
We pick ourselves back up,
we dust ourselves off,
and we start again.
Now, I know that, that voice that nasty
negative voice in our head is like,
you're such a loser, you can't even
hold it together.
Why didn't you blu blu?
Tell it to shut the hell up,
because you've worked really hard.
And all the gains that you've made
on the stuff, you've worked on,
all the nitty gritty stuff you've talked
out in therapy,
that's still already happened.
We just have to learn from what caused us to
slip up this time.
Was it stress from my mom which really
pokes my buttons?
Was it school stress because I have this
like need to be a perfect person,
and it's really hard?
What was it and then how can we
better cope next time?
So we use this as more of a learning
tool so that we can see where
there may be our little gaps in our
treatment plan and in our support team and
maybe we can fill those with some more useful tools.
What do you think?
Okay.
Question number three.
Great video and questions.
Well thank you.
One question of mine that stemmed from this video
is when discussing the bias in relationships
between the therapists and the client,
is there a time when a client can tell
a therapist too much and create
an unhealthy bias in the relationship?
If so, how would therapist handle it?
Would they terminate the client?
How would it be prevented on the client side,
especially if the therapist encourages
parental involvement?
Now, we would not terminate on a client.
The only reason we would terminate or refer is if
we'd had some kind of counter transference and
it was making it really difficult for us to
work together.
Or if the client was really stagnant and
we kind of worked out together that maybe
we should just try someone else because
we're not really moving forward.
So don't worry about that.
But this question is kind of saying
the relationship between the therapist and the
client, now, you can't tell us so much
that you're making us bias.
It's more the way, whatever you want to tell us.
We take your story,
at face value.
It is what you tell us and we're working
on it with you based on what you tell us.
So I wouldn't worry about telling us too much
or not, the thing I would more worry about
is telling us not enough.
Because then we don't have all the information
and then we're actually trying to put it together.
(hammering)
Oh my god, don't they realize that people are here?
So, that, I wouldn't worry about it.
You can't create an unhealthy bias.
Getting parents involved is something that
has to be done with a lot to be truthful,
a lot of structure, (hammering)
Oh my god it's making my lights go out.
That's not good.
But anyway, a lot of structure
and a lot of boundaries.
And I always talk with my clients like what would
you like me to talk to your parents about?
Would you like me talked about them,
talk with them about anything in particular
you do not want me to mention things,
this is all up to my client,
I don't just blanket tell parents about
everything because then it creates a
bizarre situation.
And it makes, it could make it a little bias,
so I would discuss with your therapist
find out what they're going to talk with
your parents about and set some boundaries.
Set some rules so that your relationship
with your therapist is kept the way that you want it.
Okay?
Question number four.
Hey Kati, I started self harming two years ago and when
my parents found out they told me that
I should talk to them more.
I have found myself self harming more nowadays
because, and it's because of my parents
putting pressure on me with school and sports.
How should I talk to them if they're the
problem most of the time?
If you can't answer this it's fine.
Well I'm answering it.
The best way,
is to talk, it's all about how we verbalize things right?
We can't just say, ah, you're making this worse
why do you always put pressure on me because
now I can't do anything and you're making
me self harm more.
And we just explode with a lot of information
and blaming, and screaming.
That never really gets us where we want to get to,
it doesn't get us to our destination, right?
The best way to communicate with parents I find,
is to keep it short,
and simple.
So I would say something to the effect of,
hey mom, I know that I've been talking to you
that I've struggled with self harm and
it's something I'm really working on,
and you've been wanting me to talk to you more.
But, I really just wanted to let you know that the
pressure that I get about school and sports
it tends makes those urges
and those thoughts stronger.
I would just say it like that.
That'd be it.
So you're telling them it makes it stronger
and then you'd say,
if you could just notice when you're mentioning
expectations to me that would really help
'cause I'm hard enough on myself and trust me
I know that school and sports and everything is important.
I'm not going to forget it,
but mentioning it over and over just makes
it really hard.
And then I would just leave it at that.
I would try not to blame, I'd do it when
you're not riled up.
I'd do it when you don't feel like
you're going to self harm.
I wouldn't, I'd do it in a time when you feel
really calm and you have the time to sit
down and talk and there's no pressure,
and you're not overly anxious or feeling
really wound up from the day.
Does that make sense?
I know it's kind of difficult, but,
practicing before, making notes,
practicing in front of a mirror,
any of those things so it makes sure it comes
out the way we want it to.
And try to keep it as non-blaming as possible.
Taking responsibility for what you're working
on as well as the things that they could help you with.
And then I would just say that would
really help me out.
And I think they'll want to help you out, right?
They want you to get better.
So, that's what I would do.
Okay?
Now the journal topic, thanks singing with Celine.
It says, I'm just going to read it
because I think it's amazing.
I have a journal topic for you,
this morning the Itunes fest started
in London, whoop whoop.
My favorite band, the Script, opened the concert.
Their new song Superheros is really incredible.
And these are the, she quotes it.
She's stronger than you know,
a heart of steel starts to grow
when you've been fighting for it all your life
you've been struggling to make things right.
That's how a super hero learns to fly when
you've been fighting for it all your life.
You've been working every day and night,
that's how a super hero learns to fly.
Every day, every hour turn that pain into power.
The song reminds me that I'm a fighter.
Even though my disabilities make me look weak,
one of the best things my therapist said
to me after hearing me sing and reading my poetry was,
your voice is your superpower.
I love that thought.
Your voice is your superpower.
It's kinda cool right?
I love the idea that god has helped me turn
my pain into power via ink and music.
Write about, and then this is the journal topic,
Write about your superpower.
What's your superpower?
And let me know, maybe add a fun
photo to it, it's your super power.
It doesn't have to be a talent.
Maybe you're just wonderfully understanding.
Or you're a great friend, you're the super friend.
If you can't think of one write about what you've
overcome and how you've learned to fly despite hardships.
Express yourself however you choose,
writing, art, dancing, et cetera.
I think that's amazing so let's all do that
and share your photos and your
superhero powers, it's amazing.
I really love it.
So thank you so much.
I'll see you all tomorrow.
Tomorrow is Thursday and I'll be on twitter
so ask your questions there the hashtag #katifaq.