>> THERE IS APPARENTLY NO CONSPIRACY THEORY TOO SILLY OR
TOO STUPID FOR DONALD TRUMP TO NOT BELIEVE IN IT, TO QUESTION
THAT MAYBE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ON THE COVER OF THE NATIONAL
ENQUIRER THAT IT MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY BE TRUE.
THE MOST
RECENT ONE INVOLVES TED CRUZ'S FATHER.
IN THE VIDEO YOU ARE
ABOUT TO SEE, RAFAEL CRUZ WILL SAY THAT HE THINKS YOU
CAN'T VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP, AND YOU WILL SEE HOW TRUMP RESPONDS.
>> I EXHORT EVERY MEMBER OF THE BODY OF CHRIST TO VOTE ACCORDING
TO THE WORD OF GOD, AND VOTE FOR THE CANDIDATE THAT STANDS ON THE
WORD OF GOD AND ON THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA.
>>I AM WINNING THE EVANGELICAL VOTE, AND ITíS DISGRACEFUL THAT HIS
FATHER COULD GO OUT AND DO THAT, AND SO MANY PEOPLE ARE ANGRY
ABOUT IT.
AND EVANGELICALS ARE ANGRY ABOUT IT, THE WAY HE DOES
THAT.
THERE IS A WHOLE THING.
HIS FATHER WAS WITH LEE HARVEY
OSWALD PRIOR TO OSWALD BEING SHOT, THE WHOLE THING IS
RIDICULOUS.
THAT WAS REPORTED, NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT.
I THINK
IT IS ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE THAT A MAN CAN GO AND DO THAT.
>>THERE IS A PICTURE THAT REPORTEDLY SHOWS RAFAEL
CRUZ STANDING WITH LEE HARVEY OSWALD.
>>WHAT WAS HE DOING WITH LEE HARVEY OSWALD SHORTLY
BEFORE THE DEATH, THE SHOOTING?
IT IS HORRIBLE.
>> YES, CRAZY GUY ON FOX AND FRIENDS.
THAT GUY DID 5% OF WHAT
A JOURNALIST SHOULD DO.
HE SAYS, THERE'S A PICTURE OF THERE --
THERE IS.
LET'S BRING IT UP.
IT WILL BE THIS FIRST PICTURE.
THAT
IS THE NEW YORK TIMES -- YOU SEE, LEE HARVEY OSWALD, RAFAEL
CRUZ, ON THE COVER OF THE NEW YORK TIMES.
SORRY, THAT IS THE
NATIONAL ENQUIRER.
I DON'T EXPECT TRUMP WILL MENTION THAT
IT IS THE INQUIRER, AND THAT IS PERHAPS JUST A SHITTY PHOTOSHOP --
>>NO ONE IS EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT, JOHNNY.
>>IT IS A WHOLE THING.
>>NO ONE EVEN TALKS ABOUT IT.
>>HE JUST KEEPS SAYING IT'S HORRIBLE THAT HE CAN GO OUT AND
DO THAT.
WHAT DID HE DO?
HE SAID DON'T VOTE FOR TRUMP.
ITíS HORRIBLE THAT HE HAS THAT ABILITY, TO GO OUT AND SPEAK.
>>THE FACT THAT HE DOES THAT, EVEN THE EVANGELICALS, WHO I AM
WINNING WITH, AND I'M WINNING WITH THE MEXICANS AND THE
MEXICANS AND THE WOMEN MEXICANS, I'M WINNING WITH THEM, AND I'M
WINNING WITH MEGYN KELLY, I'M ALSO WINNING WITH HER.
>>MAYBE, SHE SEEMS TO BE GOING OVER ON BENDED KNEE.
>>DO PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THAT?
>>WHAT HAPPENED WAS, THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER CAME OUT WITH
A PHOTO THAT SUPPOSEDLY SHOWS TED CRUZ'S FATHER 53 YEARS AGO
NEXT TO LEE HARVEY OSWALD SUPPOSEDLY MONTHS BEFORE LEE
HARVEY OSWALD ASSASSINATED JFK.
I WILL ACTUALLY MENTION WHO WAS
ASSASSINATED, BECAUSE DONALD TRUMP DIDN'T.
IT IS NOT REAL,
THAT IS A STUPID INTERNET CONSPIRACY MEME -- EVEN IF IT
WAS RAFAEL CRUZ, WHICH IT IS NOT, IT HAS NOT BEEN CONFIRMED,
IT WOULDN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
BUT THIS DOES SAY SOMETHING.
NOT
ABOUT RAFAEL CRUZ, BUT ABOUT DONALD TRUMP.
DONALD TRUMP
DIDN'T BRING IT UP AS A JOKE, LIKE HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY, HE
LITERALLY BELIEVED THAT BECAUSE HE SAW AN IMAGE ON THE NATIONAL
ENQUIRER THAT ITíS THE TRUTH, AND HE'S FRUSTRATED WITH THE MEDIA
FOR NOT REPORTING IT.
HE SAYS, OH MY GOD, WHY ISN'T THIS
ON CBS NEWS?
>> HE IS FRUSTRATED WITH THE MEDIA -- HE IS ON MORE MEDIA
THAN ANY JOURNALIST IN THE COUNTRY, WHY DON'T YOU DO YOUR
OWN REPORTS?
HE COULD JUST REPORT IT.
THAT YOU CALL INTO
ABC AND CNN -- NO ONE ELSE CALLS IN.
BERNIE HAS YET TO CALL INTO
MEET THE PRESS, NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN ALLOWED TO CALL IN
EXCEPT DONALD TRUMP.
STILL.
>>YOU ARE FRUSTRATED THAT ONLY HE GETS TO DO THESE CALLS IN,
DONALD TRUMP IS FRUSTRATED THAT NOBODY IS REPORTING ON THAT
PHOTO, I'LL MAKE YOU BOTH FEEL BETTER.
I'M GOING TO ALLOW THAT
PHOTO TO CALL IN.
IF IT WANTS TO MAKE ITSELF CLEAR, WHAT WAS
GOING ON THERE, WE WERE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO DO THAT.
TED CRUZ
RESPONDED TO THESE ALLEGATIONS THAT HIS FATHER IS IMPLICATED IN
THE MURDER OF JFK, SAYING --
>> AND THEN, AS IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH, TED CRUZ RESPONDED
IN THIS VIDEO.
>>DONALD TRUMP WENT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AND ATTACKED MY
FATHER.
DONALD TRUMP ALLEGES THAT MY DAD WAS INVOLVED IN THE
ASSASSINATION OF JFK.
THIS IS NUTS.
AND WHILE I'M AT IT,
I GUESS I SHOULD GO AHEAD AND ADMIT THAT YES, MY DAD KILLED
JFK, HE IS SECRETLY ELVIS, AND JIMMY HOFFA IS BURIED IN HIS
BACKYARD.
DONALD'S SOURCE FOR THIS IS THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER.
THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER IS TABLOID TRASH, BUT IT IS RUN BY HIS GOOD
FRIEND DAVID PECKER, THE CEO.
SO THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER HAS BECOME
HIS HIT PIECE THAT HE USES TO SMEAR ANYBODY, AND EVERYBODY.
I
WILL DO SOMETHING I HAVEN'T DONE FOR THE ENTIRE CAMPAIGN FOR
THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE TRAVELED WITH ME ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY,
I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I REALLY THINK OF DONALD TRUMP.
THIS MAN
IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR.
HE DOESN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN TRUTH AND LIES, HE LIES PRACTICALLY EVERY WORD THAT
COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH.
THE MAN CANNOT TELL THE TRUTH, BUT HE
COMBINES IT WITH BEING A NARCISSIST.
THIS IS NOT A
SECRET, HE IS PROUD OF BEING A SERIAL PHILANDERER.
I WANT
EVERYONE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR TEENAGE KIDS.
THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES TALKS ABOUT HOW GREAT IT IS TO COMMIT
ADULTERY, HOW PROUD HE IS, DESCRIBES HIS BATTLES WITH
VENEREAL DISEASE AS HIS OWN PERSONAL VIETNAM.
IF ANYONE HAS
SEEN THE MOVIE BACK TO THE FUTURE II, THE SCREENWRITER SAYS
THAT HE BASED THE CHARACTER BIFF TANNEN ON DONALD TRUMP, A
CARICATURE OF A BRAGGADOCIOUS BUFFOON.
WE ARE LOOKING
POTENTIALLY AT THE BIFF TANNEN PRESIDENCY.
>>I'M CALLING THE FBI, JIMMY HOFFA IS BURIED IN
HIS BACKYARD.
THIS IS GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
>>ALSO ELVIS, HE HAS BEEN ALIVE THIS WHOLE TIME?
>>NO ONE CARES ABOUT ELVIS.
>>BEFORE WE RETURN TO TED CRUZ, TED CRUZ ADMITS, HE SAYS I WILL
DO SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER DONE, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I REALLY
BELIEVE ABOUT DONALD TRUMP.
YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT,
YOU MORON.
YOU ARE RUNNING AGAINST HIM.
WHY ARE YOU NOW ADMITTING YOU WILL BE HONEST ABOUT HIM?
>> WHAT I DO LIKE IS WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS PREDICTED HAPPENING WOULD
HAPPEN, IF PEOPLE STARTED TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT WHEN
SOMEONE IN POLITICS IS LYING, THEY ARE NOW JUST CALLING
EACH OTHER LIARS.
LYING TED, HE'S A LIAR, LIE, LIE.
>> THAT IS THE ONLY TIME THEY'RE HONEST IS WHEN THEY ARE CALLING
EACH OTHER LIARS.
DONALD TRUMP RESPONDED TO THE RESPONSE,
SAYING --
>>THAT WAS NOT AN OUTBURST --
>> BY THE WAY, IN THAT RESPONSE, WE DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE THING,
THAT IS A WRITTEN STATEMENT --
HE CALLED HIM LYING TED, WHICH I THINK IT'S HILARIOUS.
>>TALK ABOUT TEMPERAMENT.
>>THAT IS THE TEMPERAMENT.
TED CRUZ DOESN'T HAVE THE
TEMPERAMENT?
I AGREE WITH YOU LARGELY, BUT HE IS SAYING THAT
WHAT YOU SAW ON THE COVER OF THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER IS A
JOURNALISTIC FACT THAT NEEDS TO BE INVESTIGATED FURTHER.
I SAW
THAT VAMPIRE BOY IS ON THE LOOSE AGAIN, I READ THAT IN WEEKLY
WORLD NEWS, I WANT TO KNOW WHY CNN HAS NOT SENT WOLF
BLITZER TO LOOK INTO VAMPIRE BOY.
>> I HAVE HEARD CREDIBLE REPORTS THAT THERE IS A GILA MONSTER
THAT WAS MEETING WITH TED CRUZ'S DAD, AND NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT.
>>ON THE SURFACE OF THE MOON.
>> WHAT DONALD TRUMP LITERALLY DID THERE -- DONALD TRUMP, KNOWN
FOR HAVING A HORRIBLE TEMPERAMENT, HORRIBLE
TEMPERAMENT, I'D LIKE TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE, ENCOURAGE OTHER
PEOPLE TO HIT PEOPLE, GOES ON MISOGYNISTIC RANTS AGAINST
JOURNALISTS WHO ASK QUESTIONS -- THAT IT IS TED CRUZ WHO COULDN'T
BE CALMER ABOUT SAYING -- COULDN'T HAVE A BETTER
TEMPERAMENT -- THAT IS LIKE IF YOU WENT, TED CRUZ YELLS TOO MUCH!
>>APPARENTLY HE DID DO THAT TODAY, HE WAS APPARENTLY
TALKING ABOUT HOW HILLARY CLINTON CAN'T STOP YELLING,
AND HE WAS YELLING THE ENTIRE TIME.
WHICH IS IRONIC.
>>THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, IT IS IRONY, JOHNNY.
>>TO SOME EXTENT WE TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE IT IS SILLY AND
RIDICULOUS AND WE LIKE THE POLITICS OF IT AND EVERYTHING,
BUT THIS SPEAKS TO SOMETHING DEEPER.
IS NOT A ONE-TIME THING,
DONALD TRUMP WILL BELIEVE ANY STUPID THING.
IT IS LIKE WITH ANCHORMAN, IF YOU WRITE IT ON A
TELEPROMPTER HE WILL SAY IT.
THE MUSLIMS CELEBRATING.
>>I SAW NEWS REPORTS.
>>I SAW IT, I'M SURE I SAW IT.
THAT OBAMA IS NOT A CITIZEN,
THAT MEXICANS ARE RAPISTS -- THERE WAS SOME OTHER BIG
CONSPIRACY THEORY.
THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING FOR THE PRESIDENT,
THAT IF HE SEES SOMETHING ON SOCIAL MEDIA HE INSTANTLY THINKS
THAT IT IS TRUE.
YOU EXPECT THE PRESIDENT TO BE A CRITICAL
THINKER, SOMEONE WHO CAN INTEGRATE THE ADVICE OF AS MANY
EXPERTS AS POSSIBLE AND EXERCISE CAREFULLY CRAFTED JUDGMENT THAT
COMES AS A RESULT OF A LIFETIME OF EXPERIENCE IN DEALING WITH
TOUGH SITUATIONS.
HE CAN'T MAKE IT THROUGH A REDDIT THREAD
WITHOUT THINKING 10 NEW CRAZY THINGS ABOUT THE WORLD IS TRUE.
HE GETS HIS NEWS FROM KYLIE JENNER'S INSTAGRAM AND NOW HE
THINKS HE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT CHEM TRAILS.
AS THE PRESIDENT,
AND I SAY THIS IN THE HOPE THAT SOME OF HIS FOLLOWERS WILL SAY I
LIKE HIS POLICIES BUT YOU ARE RIGHT, WE CAN'T HAVE A MADMAN AS
PRESIDENT.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY ALTHOUGH WE KNOW THAT RACIST
FEELINGS CORRELATE STRONGLY WITH SUPPORTING DONALD TRUMP, I HAVE
A FEELING THAT BELIEVING CRAZY CONSPIRACY THEORIES MIGHT BE A
STRONGER CORRELATION.
IF YOU LIKE ALEX JONES, THAT BULLSHIT,
I GUARANTEE THAT A MAGNIFICENTLY HIGH PERCENTAGE OF THOSE PEOPLE
ALREADY SUPPORT TRUMP, SO THEY ARE A LOST CAUSE.
>>THIS STORY REMINDS ME OF THAT ABRAHAM LINCOLN QUOTE, WHICH
WAS, DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ ON FACEBOOK.
>>I HAVE SEEN THAT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS YODA WHO SAID IT.
>>I THINK IT WAS LINCOLN.
HE HAD THE EARLIEST VERSION OF FACEBOOK.
>>CAN I TELL YOU WHY THIS WORKS?
EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT TRUMP DOES,
BECAUSE OF WHO IS RUNNING AGAINST.
TED CRUZ, THIS IS THE
SECOND ANGRY, I WILL LET YOU KNOW BECAUSE I AM OFF-THE-CUFF AND
THIS IS A NATURAL WAY OF SPEAKING TED CRUZ GOES, YOU KNOW
WHAT I WILL DO?
I'M GOOD TO SPEAK.
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
HONESTLY.
NOBODY WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU TALK LIKE THAT.
SO
EVERYONE GOES, I CAN'T BELIEVE DONALD TRUMP IS SAYING SUCH
CRAZY SHIT, I WONDER WHAT TED CRUZ SAYS.
AND BEFORE HE GETS TO THE
FIRST TWO SENTENCES YOU GO, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT TED CRUZ SAYS.
JUST MAKE THEM STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT.
LIKE, THERE IS
NOTHING NATURAL ABOUT WHAT HE'S SAYING, THERE WERE PARTS WHERE
HE BROUGHT UP HIS WIFE AND SHEíS STANDING NEXT TO HIM AND HE
GAZED AT HER AND HE SAID I MAY BE BIASED, BUT HE THINKS SHE IS
NOT GOOD-LOOKING.
AND HE IS THE ONE WHO'S BIASED.
SHUT THE FUCK
UP, NONE OF THAT WAS NATURAL.
OFF-THE-CUFF, I THOUGHT OF BACK
TO THE FUTURE II.
HE IS SO FAKE THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW FAKE HE
IS.
DONALD TRUMP IS THE MOST ARROGANT POLITICIAN OF ALL TIME
-- WE ARE LOOKING AT HIM.
HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS THAT GUY.