- Jet, set, set, for (beep).
(cheerful music)
- Right, I'm ready to go.
- Just make sure you don't raise your arms too high.
- No, I was thinking about that.
You ready?
Now time for extreme...
- No idea.
(laughs)
- It's now time for extreme, ah! (laughing)
- That didn't work.
Stronger than me.
- I'll do away with this cushion.
- Cushion isn't needed now, for a while.
(laughing)
- I'm not even strong enough to throw a cushion!
- Question up.
- Question up!
- We are going to start Cycling Shorts,
this week, with the return...
(wind howls)
- Of the Wattagebazooka! (laughs)
- One more time.
- Alright, sorry.
- Cecily, Cecily, Cecily, Cecily, Cecily, Cecily, Cecily,
who Trip Ludwig finished in third.
(tongue rolling)
(laughs)
- Right.
- What was that?
- Oh (beep), he's filming.
- There's a little calf there.
Like, we might have to move.
- Danny.
Danny!
- [Cameraman] (laughing) What?
- I don't know, I think, I think
it's that cup full of sweets.
- You know what, Dan, I don't think you're that far off.
- Sorry, I was looking, I was completely
glazed over there.
(laughs)
I was looking a bit gormless.
- That's it.
(laughs)
- All right, I guess.
Well, that's a very good, well,
that's a very good point, I mean.
Well, that's a very good point, I mean.
(laughs) Ah, (beep) me!
Now I said it, I can't say it again (beep).
Olly, that is a, that, Olly, that is a, I can't get to it.
(mumbles).
- You get through to it just down there.
- Where is it?
- Keep sending that leg up towards...
- (exhales) Christ - The ceiling.
Make sure you're breathing.
(Dan exhales)
And release, take that foot down, Dan.
Come down for a break, Dan.
- And then next up is something you never see anymore.
(laughs)
( TV beep)
(pants)
- It's getting (mumbles).
Next, there's something you never see anymore.
- And what he wants to know is how you go
from effort level five to level 10
when you don't have gears.
You only have a resistance knob to turn.
Where should he turn that knob up to,
to get the right resistance?
- (laughs)
- So now that we've done those jump...
So now that we've dumped...
Dumped?
Does that make sense?
- Yeah.
- What I want to know is if you go...
(laughs) Come on.
I didn't even say knob.
- We can then go out and smash our PBs,
on any rides, and on any segment.
- Yeah, sorry (beep) that wind is suddenly gone.
- I'm not using a road bike,
I'm using an indoor spin bike, and I don't have gears.
I got a handle that I turn to make the resistance harder.
What I want to know is if you go...
(both laugh)
Come on.
- Where we're just thumping on the pedals.
♪ How deep is your love, is your love ♪
♪ How deep is your love ♪
- A little bit more protected,
on the inside of that outer shell.
I do all of that again without my... (coughs)
- Raise the right leg.
- The right leg.
- Exhale, swing it through.
- Ah, (beep)
- "And tips on keeping helmets fresh?
"Mine has developed a smell, and I've tried everything
"from vinegar to Febreeze and the smell just won't go away."
(laughs)
Go on, mate, what do you think?
How do you keep your helmet fresh?
- Well, I don't put Febreeze on it,
and I don't put vinegar on it either.
- Well, no, don't put vinegar on it.
- Wash it in the shower, that's the best way.
- Yeah, or even take the middle part out of the helmet.
So the spongy...
(laughs)
- Now I was accused of, ah, (beep).
Now I was accused last...
Now I was accused last week of, ah, (beep)
Now I was accused of hyper...
(laughs)
- Have you got, like, a booster seat?
You know, like they give to little kids in the car.
- "Any tips on keeping helmets fresh?
"Mine (laughs) has developed a smell,
"and I've tried... (laughs)
"Everything from vinegar to Febreze... (laughs)"
- Whatever you do, don't pour vinegar on it.
And not Febreze either.
Don't spray it with Febreze.
I normally wash mine in the shower.
(laughs)
When I'm washing everything else.
- The Italian word for climber is
scalatore, but he had a different name.
He was known as scalatista.
Scatista...
- "Any tips on keeping helmets fresh? (laughs)"
It is (beep) hard to say that, mate.
- Oh! Stop it.
Boom.
Wah.
- The previously range stopping zero seven.
Oh for (beep) sake.
And in recent...
(beep) Crap.
- Keep going. (rolls tongue)
- Alejandro... (laughs)
Alejandro Valverde and Lizzie Deighnan;
because, well, she knows the roads.
And she's pretty good.
- Van der Poels. (laughs)
How did ya'll do it?
- [Cameraman] Now you, just got to,
you got to, like, be as good, be as good as John.
- Well I'd already did.
- [Cameraman] Could you get back down.
Okay.
- Van...
- [Cameraman] (mumbles) - Van der poel.
- [Camerman] Okay again. - Ah!
(laughs) Got my nose!
- [Camerman] Okay again.
- Van der Poel.
- Finally this, finally... (laughs)
- Just check there's nothing coming up behind you quickly.
- [Cameraman] Nice, Chris.
You sexy, fiendishly sexy, (beep) right there (laughs).
- Amazing how adept we've become at, just,
- Yeah. - stashing stuff on our laps.
- Even though, clearly, like, everyone knows
that we've got something stashed down there, so to speak.
- We all know you have, Simon.
I've seen the video.
- Where's your, where are you, mate?
- (mumbles) (laughs) Where's your wire, (mumbles)?
(laughs)
- Right, I'll start off with one in from Peter...
- Well hang on, we're going to go again,
Cause I'll tee up the audio, so, I'll go.
- Peter comes in with this.
From Hexham, Northumberland.
Peter trimmed a Frisbee, put a slit in its ascension hole
and it...
No, sorry, I'm going to start that again.
We got one in from Peter, from Hexham, Northumberland.
Peter trimmed a Frisbee, put a slit...
(mumbles)
Are you having me on?
(all laugh)
I'm sorry! (beep)
I'm sorry!
You're making me sweat.
You're making me sweat; because,
you're making me do this again!
We've got one in from Peter in Northumberland.
Peter trimmed a Frisbee, put a slit...
- (mumbles) You're not looking at the camera.
- No, I've got to read it.
First up, we have one in from Peter.
Now, he put a slit in this... (laughs)
(laughter downs out speaker)
First up, Peter comes in.
He's... (laughs)
- Where's he comin' in from?
- I don't know!
- He's not coming in!
- Ffffffff....
(all laugh)
(exhales)
First up, we've got Peter and his Frisbee...
(laughs)
First up, Peter and his Frisbee.
He's put a slit in his Frisbee, put it over his discs...
(laughs)
And it created protection when he was cleaning the bike.
- First up, we've got Peter from Northumberland,
and he's got a Frisbee, right?
And he's put a slit in it.
He's trimmed his Frisbee.
And he's using it as protector,
so that when he cleans his bike,
he slides it in between the cassette
and his disk brake rotor.
So that he doesn't get any contamination
on his disk brake rotor.
- [Cameraman] It's not between the cassette.
It's between the hub and the disk brake.
Oh for (beep).
(laughs)
(laugher drowns out speakers)
- My favorite bike has to be, I'm going to have to say...
- What's that?
Some part of your hair (mumbles).
I thought it was a really long eyebrow.
You got one rogue hair - As Dan, just,
pulls my hair out.
What are you trying to do, Dan?
Just because I've got better hair than you. (laughs)
- Just, slide, oh.
- Pretty sure you just sat on my thumb.
(laughs)
- Pretty much, (mumbles) had a mechanical
problem and needed to change bikes.
(beep)
(laughs)
- Four great FTP sessions that are guaranteed
to get your lungs burning as well (beep).
How about legs?
- He adds his name to a glowing... glowing?
(blows raspberries)
(funny noises)
- Racing bikes, like (beep) hell.
- Cream at the bottom and it's jam the top, time.
- Yeah.
Clear as mud. - I'll get there in the end.
There you go.
It's super clear, concise; cream the bottom, jam on the top.
- But, if you're a bit more common, then
feel free to do it the other way around.
(laughs)
- You can't say that.
You can't say it's a bit more common.
- What, than you?
That doesn't, that's not an insult to anyone.
- Oh yeah. - Right.
- This year, though, he was particularly dominant.
(laughs)
(typing)