- [Interviewer] Karla, we're here in Toronto.
- Yeah.
- [Interviewer] You're out here homeless.
- Yes.
- [Interviewer] Tell me about it.
- I've been out here for four and a half years now.
I got taken to Elizabeth Fry after being arrested
and because that didn't work good for me,
the guy that set me up at the treatment center
I was supposed to go to at the last minute canceled on me
'cause they didn't know I was on Suboxone, apparently,
and you weren't allowed to be on Suboxone
and I couldn't stay at Elizabeth Fry anymore
and those were my conditions
to either be at Elizabeth Fry or treatment.
So, I got kind of screwed over there
and we came home and was on the streets.
I didn't know anybody when I got here.
I'm from Hall Landing, originally,
which is small little town.
So this, to me, was a big shock down here.
I used to smoke crack and I quit a year and a half ago,
but that was a big shock, my first trap experience.
It was 30 people in a room when I went in one day,
'cause it was raining, I broke in the doors with a card
and there was 30 people in there trying to sell me crack.
Everybody was trying to convince me
that they had the best kind
and I quit because I started doing Fentanyl,
which is even worse.
- [Interviewer] Oh my gosh.
- Yeah, 'cause you can't have both,
'cause Fentanyl's more important.
But I was doing 10 points of that a day
and I'm down to half a point.
I did try Methadone for a period of time.
I quit for three and a half months,
but at Christmas and New Years,
I didn't realize they were only open for an hour.
I missed that twice and I wanted to kill myself.
It was the worst, worst experience of not having something,
worst withdrawal from any drug you could ever have,
any kind of heroin or Fentanyl.
Methadone was the worst.
I will never ever go past 60 mils again.
- [Interviewer] So, you're trying to wean yourself off?
- Yeah, I'm still doing Methadone,
but never more than 60 mils.
- [Interviewer] Right.
- I was at 120 when that happened, it was horrible.
- [Interviewer] So you're doing the Methadone Clinic?
- Yeah.
The True North Methadone.
- [Interviewer] Okay.
- You can do that without ID.
- [Interviewer] People don't understand
how, two things, how hard it is to stay sober out here--
- It's very hard.
- [Interviewer] I mean, homelessness sucks.
I was just helping you with your bags,
you're trying to balance here, it's--
- They fell all over.
- [Interviewer] It's freezing, and you're sleeping outside.
- All the shelters are full, yep.
Even the res beds are full, the drop-ins are full,
if you get into a drop-in, you're standing up all night.
It's horrible, it's horrible.
- [Interviewer] So, heroin helps take all the pain away.
- Yeah, and you can fall asleep. (chuckles)
- [Interviewer] Yeah, and people don't understand that
and then once you're on heroin,
you get, you can't stop.
- No, 'cause you're sick and your whole body hurts so bad,
you can't move without it.
- [Interviewer] Right, it's like the worst flu times 1000.
- Yep.
- [Interviewer] That anybody's ever experienced
and the only way to get better is to fix.
- And wean yourself off, though.
That's the only way because you can't just stop.
It doesn't work like that.
- [Interviewer] So, huge props to you--
- Thank you.
- [Interviewer] For trying to get off
and doing it while you're living out here, I mean--
- I'm going to.
I'm determined.
I'll come and talk to you again when I do.
- [Interviewer] Good!
Good, that would be great.
- I just want to say one more thing.
My first year here, I spent a whole year
and, well the Winter, in the Porta Potty.
The only way to keep warm, other than
if you lie on one of those heat vents,
is get water from Tim Horton's, the hot tea water,
and water bottles and fill 'em up
and put them in your sleeping bag or your bed
or in your pants and your shirt.
- [Interviewer] Oh my gosh.
- That keeps you warm.
- [Interviewer] And then you slept in Porta Potties?
- Yes.
No one could steal your stuff. (laughs)
- [Interviewer] Oh my god.
- That's the only way.
- [Interviewer] That's no way to live.
- Otherwise, your stuff's getting stolen.
Someone's gonna come check it for sure.
- [Interviewer] Well that's what somebody said
to me last night.
I said, why don't you go into a shelter?
And they said, well I like my stuff.
- Yeah.
- [Interviewer] 'Cause I go into a shelter,
I'm gonna lose everything
or they don't allow everything to go in.
- Yep.
Same thing.
- [Interviewer] So what's your future like?
- Well, I'm gonna quit doing drugs and get a place.
I'm working towards that now,
getting a place is my main goal
and quitting, and then getting my kids back.
- [Interviewer] Awesome.
- Well not getting them back, seeing them,
'cause they can't really see me like this.
- [Interviewer] Gotcha.
I have 24 years sober.
I was not here-- - Congratulations.
- [Interviewer] But I was outside in the States,
so you can do it.
- I've done it for two and a half years,
I got clean and sober, but that was only on crack,
so I know I can do it again.
- [Interviewer] Yeah, you definitely can.
You definitely can.
What would you want people to know about homelessness
that they probably don't know?
- You should try it one time
and then you would understand.
Get outside in the cold one night.
Very cold.
- [Interviewer] In the Toronto cold.
- In Toronto, yes.
It has to be Toronto, not anywhere else.
- [Interviewer] Not a Florida cold.
The Toronto cold.
Oh my gosh.
And how do you stay positive?
I mean, where are you sleeping tonight?
- Outside.
Sometimes you break into buildings with cards
if you can get in, if there's not security
and go in the stairwell until you get caught.
- [Interviewer] Well you do whatever you can to stay warm.
- Or beg for change so you can go into McDonald's
or Tim Horton's, those are the only two things open.
There's only four of them, I think, around here
that are open and yeah,
beg for change for that
and sometimes they'll only give you 20 minutes,
sometimes security's really retarded
and if you're in the bathroom longer than five minutes,
they'll call the cops on you.
(laughs)
- [Interviewer] And then, but the cops can't do anything,
there's no place to take you.
- They'll take you to the hospital and then they let you go.
- [Interviewer] Well people are freezing outside.
- Yep, yeah.
- [Interviewer] How do you keep the smile?
I mean, you're in good spirits and you're gonna be--
- I have some money.
I have some money, so I'm good.
For the night.
- [Interviewer] For the night--
- That's why I'm happy.
- [Interviewer] That's why you're happy?
So, you're gonna make it, a day at a time.
- And I have some heroin (laughs)
- [Interviewer] A day at a time.
- Yeah.
- [Interviewer] If you had three wishes, what would they be?
- A place, my kids, my family.
- [Interviewer] Great wishes.
Thank you very much for talking to me.
- Thank you.
(slow rhythmic music)