Awe this is gonna be great, the suns shining, it's a beautiful day outside
look at the foliage. Those flowers, they're spinning.
They're crazy, crazy ass flowers. No music though.
Did not, uh, did not put music
...on the screen
It's unreal.
Still no music, is this, uh, did they-
Oh shit, nope, there is sound.
And, uh, there's not much going on
Don't forget the nuts.
Yeah, pick those nuts up.
Put those in you mouth later.
Okay, there it is! There's the soundtrack.
A beautiful, beautiful soundtrack I might add.
Ugh, just... fucking walking to my right. Again.
Oh shit, there's a little cube.
What's this cube?
It's nothing.
This does nothing. What are you here for?
Why are you here? What is this?
How do I get the flower? Get the flower.
Hey, get the flower. See that flower? Get it.
Aaaagh, fuck!
Oh, shit, here comes the platforming!
Can you fucking shoot the stupid thing?
Oh my god! The guy with the nuts! Jesus.
Fucking kill him!
Oh, get the flag! Fuck the flag, fuck the flag!
So there's some way to like, turn these things on.
Also, motherfucker, you can push this thing!?
Ah, so many flower points. I mean
thank god!
How am I gonna get out? If I jump into the hole how am I gonna get out?
Can I get out?
I'm gonna jump into the hole, I hope I can get out!
I can get out, nevermind.
Fucking spikes, we get spikes?
At least I can blow them the fuck up.
Can I blow them up? Can I blow them up?
Can I blo- It looks like I can blow them up.
You're blinking like you're gonna blow up. You're not gonna blow up?
Why would you blink then?
You know what- You know what happens when something blinks in a video game?
It means it's taking fucking damage!
And it should blow the fuck up!
See how this isn't blinking? You can't blow it up!
Why- Wh- Ah, What?!
Why?
So this is the end of the game right?
Level 1
It starts and ends here right?
Just lets be done with it there's no point to go on
I don't wanna- ok fuck you how about that fuck you
There's, like, no rhyme or reason to these enemies!
every fucking character looks completely different
but they're all just like little shits on the ground or little bird shits-
and I fucking forgot I couldn't break it!
WHY DOES IT BLINK?!
Oh shit.
What is this switch gonna do?
Oh! Lowered the bridge!
Fu- Je- Ah!
Fuck my asshole!
I gotta go- I gotta go all the way back here
I didn't jump I didn't fucking- (grunts)
They don't even respawn the enemies
So I mean I guess it's nice but
I'm just walkin'!
I died and I just walkin' to the right for like
forty seconds to catch up to where I was.
What the fuck?!
(yawns) This is crazy. I think I'm a-
I think I'm actually playing this game while I'm sleeping.
How do I uh...
...make that jump?
Doesn't look like I ca- Oh! I made it
Oh man
Ah! Fucking God dammit!
Ah! Woo! Stage two complete!
Wow, look how different stage three is!
I mean
pfft
I shh-
night and day man!
I-
Is this a different stage?
Is this the same game?
Here's the fucking mouse!
Watch out for the mouse!
And funny enough, can't hit the fucking mouse
So the mouse apparently is fucking invincible!
Can I get by this little shit? Oh!
There's an extra guy down there
Son of a bitch!
Fuck it! I'm goin' for it. Alright ready?
Goin' for the extra guy
Hmph!
Oh! Don't touch me
Oh God!
Waiting for this little fucking- there we go
look at this I'm gonna follow him out
I'm gonna follow him out, lead the way
lead the way- You fucking rat!
Fuck!
I fucking hate in video games when enemies
can just walk around obstacles that you can't
For example this mother fucker!
Just strolling through these spikes!
I can't walk through 'em!
What the fuck!?
It doesn't make any sense!
I hate that shit!
Awe dude we're out of the woods
look at this a different background.
It's like the Great Wall of China
It's, you know, it's seen some wear and tear over the years
but you know they'll get in there, they'll repair it, you know, it's not so bad
Ah goddamn it nevermind
Nevermind we're going back outside
Back in the fucking woods
Like seriously
OH! The password is FOREST!
SHIT!
This is turning into a real platformer guys
You better buckle in!
(Noises???)
(Crazy Laughter)
What is that noise?
What the hell was that-
OH! FUCK YOU!
OH GOD!
I can't even-
I can't even get the thing.
Whena-what is this about.
What is this SHIT!
IT'S BULLSHIT
It FOOLED me.
I can't-
I can't get the F-
Ugh this is horseshit.
AWE GREAT!
Just seal the deal.
Just complete the fucking trifecta
I don't know what the other two are but
FUCK YOU
Can I destroy this thing?
No? You gonna be like the spikes?
Is tha- Is that like a running theme?
Spikes are gonna blink but can't be blow up.
Why?
WHY!?
JUST DON'T MAKE THEM FUCKING BLINK
Well we're gonna find out what happens when you run out of lives
Probably a game over
Hopefully the game just breaks
Sorry you died
This game has been deleted from your hard-drive
AH NO
Shoot you don't say.
(whisper) Can we get that as a feature?
What the fuck!
WHAT the fuck?!
What the fuck?
Wasn't even close
AH GAME OVER
OH!
AM I BACK AT THE BEGINNING?!
WOW!
ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
THE VERY BEGINNING OF THE GAME?
Alright so uh-
Looks like this guy
He lost his balloons in a tornado
That was the story, by the way
If you didn't notice
A FUCKING tornado blew his balloons away
Whisked them away
So his epic quest began
The quest for a couple of FUCKING BALLOONS!
So uh that's about it
I'm done here