Yo, Lewis! I've missed you, man.
What have you been up to?
Have you, uh, picked up any cool quarantine hobbies?
Yeah, sure, if you count "lying on the floor moaning" a hobby.
-And I've been knitting. -Aw, Lewis, it sounds like
you just need to get out of the house, man.
You know that New York restaurants actually have
outdoor dining now? Like, maybe...
maybe we should meet up for lunch this week.
(laughs): Trevor, I'm touched that of all the people
you're willing to risk your health for, you thought of me,
your one friend most likely to spray spit when he talks.
-Great. So you're in? -Of course I'm not in.
That's the dumbest idea you've ever had.
-Wait, I don't understand. -First off,
I'd have to put my pants on, and that's become exhausting.
And if you're looking for another reason,
I don't want to eat outside.
Even before the pandemic, outdoor dining sucked.
And now it's worse than ever.
As part of New York City's
phase 2 reopening plan,
restaurants have gotten the green light
to welcome customers to dine outside.
However, some business owners have complained
that it's drawing rodents.
Now owners are asking city officials
to step up sanitation efforts during the busy summer season.
We're told massive-size rats have invaded Father Fagan Park.
Nearby restaurants offering outdoor dining are concerned.
They're trying to keep their dining area clean.
That includes trying to get rid of these rats.
We had, like, this big limitation
of, like, just only outdoor seating.
They need extermination. Do it.
Can you believe that?
I don't want to eat at a restaurant next to rats!
They're filthy. They carry disease.
And you know they talk too loud about their personal lives.
Wait, did you just have that video clip ready to go?
Don't change the subject, Trevor.
I'm trying to warn you that your next meal out
will be fettuccine a la plague.
Lewis, come on, man, there have always been rats in New York.
We can still enjoy a nice meal together.
Wow, someone's watched that Ratatouille movie
one too many times.
I've had it up to here with Pixar's pro-vermin propaganda.
But okay, fine, Trevor.
If rats don't deter you,
how about the rest of Mother Nature?
NEWSWOMAN: But the biggest challenge
outdoor venues may face is the weather.
Either it's an overcast day and nobody dares to go out,
or it rains while they're out.
And when it rains while they're out,
we can't let them inside.
You hear that?
There's nowhere to go if it rains during your meal.
So I'm supposed to eat a burger with one hand
while holding an umbrella in the other hand?
That's not lunch. That's an Olympic event!
And what if you're on a date?
You'll have to decide between covering your fries
or covering your girlfriend.
She's not gonna like the answer to that,
because in a pandemic, fries win every time.
Well, actually, fries win every time!
No, thanks. The only time I want to get wet
while I'm eating is when I'm having my usual shower bacon.
I'm assuming that's when you eat bacon in the shower?
Don't act like you haven't done it, Trevor.
Okay, but, Lewis, come on, man, who cares about a little rain?
It's fresh air. We're stuck inside.
We get to go out. Honestly, I think it's worth the risk.
Look, this virus isn't the only reason
that eating outside is dangerous.
It also comes with your more traditional hazards.
With indoor dining postponed in the city,
outdoor seating is one of the few options
for restaurants to stay in business.
But some places are serving customers in the street
without any protection from traffic.
Sipping cocktails in the street.
This is curbside dining on 9th Avenue in Hell's Kitchen.
9th Avenue is no Paris.
Some restaurants have wooden barricades
around their tables, but others have less stable barriers.
And then there are the restaurants
without anything separating their chairs from traffic.
Typically, drivers are pretty good about, you know,
being cognizant of pedestrians.
You hear that? "Typically"?
Typically, cars are good at avoiding pedestrians.
How reassuring to know I can have brunch
with just a 40% chance
of getting T-boned by a Honda Civic.
I like those odds.
Makes Sunday morning more special.
Okay, look, I-I hear what you're saying,
but I think a lot of restaurants are putting up barriers
to street traffic.
No way. I mean, look at these barriers.
What a match-up! A row of potted plants
versus an 18-wheeler?
I wonder who will win.
All right, Lewis, you know what?
Forget dinner. How about we just grab a drink?
Oh, great idea, Trevor.
That sounds fun, and apparently, illegal.
Governor Cuomo announcing
stepped-up social distancing enforcement.
That includes making it illegal for bars or restaurants
to serve people alcohol unless they are also ordering a meal.
CUOMO: If you're not eating a meal,
and you're just drinking, then it's just an outdoor bar,
and people are mingling,
and they're not isolated in individual tables.
And that's what we're seeing.
(scoffs) You can't have alcohol without a meal.
Alcohol is a meal.
Yeah, but, Lewis, I understand that.
I mean, if you're just drinking,
then you can be wandering around,
talking to people, spreading germs...
Look, it's this simple.
We could reopen the bars if everyone drank the way I do--
stealing a bottle and locking myself in the bathroom.
Okay, well, then how about this?
Forget drinks and forget dinner.
How about this? You and me,
we'll just get on a Zoom meeting and play some fun games.
How about that? Huh?
We can play Apples to Apples.
Oh, I'd love to Trevor, but I'm busy that day.
I didn't tell you the day, Lewis.
Even better. (chuckles)
Bye.
Wait. L-Lewis?