'HAUNTERS' Theme Jingle
(door opens)
(footsteps)
O. M. G.
Welcome to the Jerk Repository.
Iggy: That's a dumb name. Gent: Named it myself.
If you're going to hunt you need to know the rules. Step one: Choose. Your. Jerk.
The Borrower...
(rips picture off wall)
Step two.
Find the jerk.
Put the photo in the frame, and it tells the shower where to go.
Tells the shower where to go?
Well, yes. It's like shitty GPS.
We traveled to Earth via shower?
Well, it's not just a shower, Iggigg.
It's Iggy. And that's dumb.
I mean, this is all pretty dumb.
Dumb?
Excuse me!
This. This is a bloody conduit between worlds.
This isn't dumb. Why does people your age think everything is dumb?
That's exactly dumb. That's definition of dumb. I think.
A-a conduit between worlds. That's dumb.
That's dumb.
THIS IS A SHOWER THAT TRAVELS THROUGH SPACE!!!!
Really dumb...
Anyway, it's here because... this is where most deaths take place.
The shower.
Is a death trap.
Oh my god.
I'm, like, so scared!
Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm so terrified!
Oh my god!
THE SHOWER!
Ahh!
OH MY GOD!!!
(curtain closes)
(piano)
Borrower? More like stealer.
Step 3: learn what makes them a unique, jerky snowflake.
(music)
The final step is to hunt them, but...
And this is incredibly important.
You must always use their jerk move against them.
He borrows his roommate, Jenny's toothbrush.
So...
Oh, what is he doing?!
One of the few things I can do is create illusions.
Make people see something that isn't there, or reveal what truly is.
huh
(heaving noises)
(Gent gigle)
Payback's a bitch...
Payback's a bitch?
I like that.
(whimsical jerky jingle)
(door opens)
What do you do to a guy who mocks his animals so?
No. HA HA HA HA HA!
Who primes them to start. And who stops them when they go.
You can get him by...
You have to give them a show.
Let them play their part.
Tie 'em up.
Let him go.
Payback's a bitch.
Chorus: Oooo wah wah ooo wah wah
Payback's a bitch
Chorus: Payback's a bitch.
(jingle)
We have two companions always on their phones.
A vibration
A sensation could really change their tone.
Thinking they're together
Their relationship a crock.
If their phones were tethered, we could give a shock.
Payback's a bitch.
Chorus: Ooo wah wah oooo wah wah
Payback's a bitch.
Chorus: Payback's a bitch.
Payback's a bitch.
Chorus: Ooo wah wah ooo wah wah
Payback's a bitch.
Chorus: Payback's a bitch.
(jingle)
(curtain opening and shower running)
What do we do for this prick hiding behind hateful words?
Happy to be anonymous
Piece of crap.
He's a digital turd
Never showing his face.
Bullies people he doesn't know
Time to send our own message
Took on the seeds that you've sow.
(ominous cymbal roll)
Chorus: Ooo wah wah ooo wah wah ooo Payback's a bitch.
Payback's a bitch
Chorus: Ooo wah wah ooo wah wah
Payback's a bitch.
Chorus: Payback's a bitch.
Iggy: Payback's a bitch Chorus: stab em and cut em and burn em and bleed em
Iggy: Payback's a bitch Gent and Chorus: Kick em and punch em and slice him to death.
Payba - -
Gent and Chorus: Stab him and cut him and burn him to death.
Gent and Chorus: Kick him and punch him and slice him to - -
We kill these people?!
Yes