Hello I m Darren Magee and the topic for today is continuing in the series looking at some of the
common characteristics and traits associated with narcissism. Today, I'm going to be looking at the
exaggerated sense of entitlement, the reasons behind it, and how it manifests differently
in both grandiose and covert narcissists. So if you find this video interesting please consider
subscribing to my channel. So an exaggerated sense of entitlement is a core feature of a
narcissist's personality. It is a pervasive belief that they are special, superior, unique and as a
result are deserving of privileges and favourable treatment that others are not. Their demands can
come in the form of verbal statements, but can also include sulking, manipulation, outrage,
aggression sometimes even violent behaviour. But they believe they should get more praise,
more respect, more attention, more money and more credit sometimes for just doing the same job that
everybody else is doing. And their opinions are the ones that matter. They can also demand special
treatment or extra resources without having to earn anything. It s theirs by right, they
deserve it. And if they are refused, can feel as if they're being cheated somehow. How it manifests
in grandiose and covert narcissism can differ. With grandiose narcissism we often see someone
who believes they're entitled due to a sense of superiority. With covert narcissism what we often
see is someone who believes they're entitled due to believing they re being treated unfairly. But
in both cases, the reasons behind the sense of entitlement stems from a combination of factors,
including first of all, having fragile self esteem. A sense of entitlement shields them from,
among other things, criticism and insecurity. They need constant affirmation, validation,
admiration to maintain their self-image. Special treatment, special consideration validates their
belief that they are special. Without it they re faced with the reality that they're pretty
much just the same as everybody else, even those they look down upon. So for instance,
a narcissistic person might expect constant praise and recognition from others for anything
they do or say and can become upset if they don't receive it. Others aren't seeing them the way they
see themselves. On social media narcissists might become upset if they receive negative
feedback or comments on any of their posts, believing themselves to be entitled to only
positive feedback. Next, narcissists typically have an inflated sense of self importance and
a distorted view of self worth. They also believe they're above the standards that others are held
to. Now I think with a sense of entitlement this is where we sometimes see the parasitical nature
of narcissism. They don't just believe they're entitled to a job it has to be the top job. They
want to be the CEO. They want to be the captain of the ship. But they want it without putting
in years worth of hard work in order to gain the experience. They want it without the sacrifice. So
they feel entitled to the status, the salary. They want the respect, the authority and the admiration
but without also the responsibility that comes with the position. They want the superior,
important role because they believe themselves to be superior and important. Due to their envious
nature they can be quite vindictive in trying to undermine or usurp others. Because they believe
they are entitled to do so. It's like the end justifies the means. The rules don't apply because
they're entitled. Narcissistic people also lack empathy for others so can struggle to understand
or care about their feelings and the needs of other people. They prioritise their own desires,
their own demands and feel entitled to having them fulfilled without the consideration of others.
What they want, what they think, what they think is more important than anything or anyone else.
An example may be they demand their friends or their partners cancel plans at the last moment to
cater for their needs, regardless of how others feel about it. Another aspect of narcissistic
entitlement would be double standards. They demand respect yet believe others have to
earn theirs. So there are some examples and some of the reasons behind narcissistic entitlement,
but how does it play out differently in grandiose and covert narcissism? With grandiose narcissism,
typically we see overt displays of entitlement. They tend to assert their sense of entitlement
openly through haughty behaviour, arrogance and can be more aggressive in pursuing their
desires. They can brag about and exaggerate their accomplishments and recognition for their
perceived superiority. The difference with covert narcissism, although they might not
openly display a belief in their superiority, they do harbor feelings of entitlement. They
still believe themselves to be special, distinct and unique. But their sense of entitlement often
comes from a sense of unfairness or victimhood. They see themselves as misunderstood, overlooked,
put upon. Others fail to see their importance. They tend to be quite shy, prone to low moods
and depression, lack self-confidence, and can be sensitive to criticism. Rather than make their
demands outright, covert narcissists often portray themselves as helpless victims. They expect others
to cater their demands without having to actually ask for them and they do this by emphasising,
often exaggerating their sacrifices, their suffering. And although they may
do it differently, both grandiose and covert narcissists can use manipulation and coercion
to get their own way. Both can use charm, guilt tripping, even aggression. In the
early stages of their relationships both tend to idealise others when they meet their needs,
but start to devalue them whenever their ever shifting and increasing expectations aren t being
met. Eventually the partner isn't good enough for them. They deserve better. And with both
grandiose and covert narcissism getting their own way actually validates their sense of entitlement.
It reinforces their behaviours and their attitudes. The more that belief is validated,
the more they believe they are entitled to. The more they demand. And the more they get the less
gratitude they show for anything, it's theirs by right. And when they don't get what they want,
both can become upset. There could be anger, outrage, sometimes referred to as narcissistic
rage. Or they could feel shame, become depressed, sometimes known as a narcissistic collapse. But
in both cases they can lack true humility and can be easily offended and can hold a grudge towards
anyone who doesn't give them what they believe they are entitled to. Grandiose narcissists tend
to come across as being rude and selfish in their demands. Covert narcissists, they tend to come
across as being a drain on everybody's patience and their resources. Eventually, others see the
entitlement for what it really is, selfish, childlike sometimes, perhaps even delusional.
So that s a brief outline of narcissistic entitlement. As always if there's anything I
missed, anything you'd like to add please feel free to use the comment box below, there are
some interesting conversations start from these videos. But if you found this video interesting,
please consider subscribing to my channel. And until next time, thanks for watching. Maybe just a
thought, but perhaps the opposite to narcissistic entitlement could be humility and gratitude?