-I know you have three nieces.
Were they excited to see you in that "My Little Pony" shirt?
-So, they haven't seen me yet,
and I'm like this crazy, weird mythical Uncle John...
-Yeah. -...that when I show up
I'm a cartoon character 'cause they see me on television
and they haven't been able to see
movies like "Trainwreck" yet. -Right.
-So, this'll be the first time they go to see crazy Uncle John
on a movie screen. -Oh, that'll be very exciting.
-Usually when I come to visit or they come to visit me,
I literally assume the role of a tackling dummy.
It's unleashing --
which is karma 'cause I was just such a crappy kid.
So, basically, they climb all over me
and it's a bunch of wrestling around
and I try to absorb as much of their energy as I can,
and their parents just disappear.
I get totally ghosted by my brothers
and their significant others,
and they're just in the corner kicking with a drink
and be like, "Fine, you take care of them for a while."
But I honestly really -- I love them to death.
I look forward to seeing them.
We're gonna hang out on Thanksgiving.
And it's, like -- I love the perspective of young people.
It'll be interesting to see how they --
-They'll be very honest. -They certainly will.
-I feel their reviews of movies are really --
-"Uncle John, why did you suck?" [ Laughter ]
"Well, eh." -[ Laughs ]
Uh, so this is very rare, but sometimes guests are on the show
and they tell a story about another celebrity.
-What have I done? -Well, that's the thing.
We had Sean Casey on, who was an ex baseball player,
and he told us a story about one night he was at a bar with you,
and he asked you to -- what's the move called?
-It's called a chop. -A chop.
He asked to be chopped. -He did.
-By you. -He did.
-Which seems like a thing you would only ask
if multiple drinks had be drank. -Yes. That is correct.
-And you being a professional, did you say to him,
"Hey, man, I can't do it"?
-I feel like I can be honest with you guys.
-Yeah.
-Okay, so the setting is the Major League playoffs.
The Major League Baseball playoffs.
The Red Socks are playing the Tampa Bay Rays.
I just so happen to live in Tampa
and was rooting for the Rays that year.
Don't hold it against me. -Yeah, yeah.
-So, I know Sean for a long time.
He's staying at the team hotel.
He's like, "Hey, man, come on down, say hello."
Saying hello to Sean and Tim Wakefield
and myself at that time was pretty much
drinking the bar out of everything that was liquid.
-Yeah, yep. -Yes.
So in the height of our dysfunction,
he's like, "Hey, man, you know like the Ric Flair chops?
I want you to chop me." I'm like, "Dude, you don't.
You definitely don't want that to happen."
But I did not say it as sober.
I was like, "Damn, bro. No, bro."
-[ Laughs ] -"Don't. Don't go there."
So, eventually, they really forced me to.
Like, both Sean and Tim wanted to be chopped.
I'm like, "Okay.
What's the safe-- what's the best way?
You guys have to chop me first." So I take my shirt off.
As you saw in the clip, that's something I do.
[ Laughter ]
-By the way, if I had your body, I'd do it, too.
[ Laughter ]
I'm not judging. Yeah, yeah. I'm not judging.
[ Cheers and applause ] -So, Sean hits me.
And a chop is an open-hand strike on the breastplate,
so it makes a good sound.
I'm mic'd and I have clothes on,
but it makes a good sound. [ Smack! ]
-Yeah, very helpful for in the ring.
-Yes, because it's the audible crack.
Like, it makes that crack-y sound, but it hurts like hell.
So he winds up and hits me. He doesn't know how to do it.
Okay, fine.
Tim winds up, and he's a pitcher.
I thought I'm gonna get creamed. He didn't know how to do it.
And Sean's like, "Ah, do me!"
And before he could say "Do me!",
like, he had his chest out.
From -- pun intended -- left field, whack!
And look at this. I put a frying pan on his chest.
So I hit him, and he goes, "Ow!"
And he exposed his back, so I'm like, "Boom!"
"Ow!" [ Laughter ]
-And... [ Cheers and applause ]
And that literally led to three dudes holding a royal rumble
in the lobby of the Red Socks' team hotel...
-Oh, my God. -...at, like,
undisclosed AM time.
[ Laughter ] And I don't think --
I don't know if they made it to the game the next day.
-Yeah. I'll have to look back at those box fares.
-I know they didn't win the series,
so Red Socks fans, I'm very sorry.
I may have sabotaged the team. -You did some chopping.