Lindsay Lohan dropped, uh, the music video
-for her new single, "Xanax." -RAPAPORT: Yes.
I want you to drop it in acid.
Uh, let's take a look.
-♪ I don't ♪ -♪ Don't, don't ♪
♪ Like the parties in L.A. ♪
-♪ I go home ♪ -♪ Home, home ♪
♪ In a bad mood, pass out, wake up alone ♪
♪ Alone, alone... ♪
Uh, by the way, my Instagram stories look more professional.
-CHRISTINA P: I know. -Um...
Michael, do you relate to this music?
You know, I feel bad for Lindsay Lohan.
I-I do. Every, like...
Now, it's, like, every six months,
there's a Lindsay Lohan comeback, and it never hits,
and I agree,
because my Instagram videos look better than that.
And-and I feel like she needs, like, a new friend group.
Her and the football player Antonio Brown need better...
like a better crew around them.
-Yeah, that's right. -Yeah.
-That's true. -I feel bad for Lindsay.
She's from Long Island.
Like, this-this business has chewed her up.
SPADE: Chews you up every time.
-Let me ask you a question, Dave. -He's getting worked up.
Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question.
'Cause-'cause I want to acknowledge this in public.
You are one of the great low-key stick men
-in Hollywood history. -(applause and cheering)
Now I want to say that publicly.
You are one of the... one of the greatest
-of all time. -What does that mean? You be, like, laying pipe?
-Is that what it means? -Yeah.
-Strange being. -That's the rumor.
-RAPAPORT: Low-key. Low-key. -CHRISTINA P: Yeah.
Okay, like the city. Go ahead.
-I got it. I'm caught up. -So-so in here...
-"I'm caught up." -Not in disrespectful way,
-irresponsible way, like... -Oh, he be making love. Okay.
Just, he put... he puts it down.
Did you ever come across Lindsay Lohan in your prime?
-You mean literally? -I'm just saying. You know what.
-(laughter) -Uh, no, I have...
SLOAN: No, no, no.
Don't put him on Front Street like that.
Listen, girl, we look at...
You were always the "after" picture.
-Like why...? -Yeah. -Yeah.
I understand. She's had a bit of a rough time with it,
and, uh, we all love Lindsay Lohan movies.
I've seen her out in real life. She's very sweet.
Uh, but it is... it is...
I don't know if this music video-- especially that part
in the middle where she was, like, with Marion Barry.
Remember that old footage?
-Wait. What? -Where... well...
Remember that old crack?
You remember the mayor of D.C.?
-"You set me up, bitch." -Yeah. -Yeah.
Yeah. "You set me up, bitch."
It's going back. Well, you're too young.
-You're not. You're too young. -SLOAN: No, I remember.
I-I remember the fall of all great black men. Um...
-(laughter) -CHRISTINA P: Oh, man.
-It's like... -But it's... -SPADE: Aw.
-CHRISTINA P: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. -SPADE: Go ahead.
Oh, no. It's just, like, you never see this happen
with, like, black child stars.
Like, Tia and Tamara are fine.
Kenan and Kel are fine.
-Todd Bridges. -That's-that's just it.
But he was around too many white people.
-(laughter, applause) -Okay.
-Yeah. -It was Mr. Drummond's fault.
Listen, Michael Jackson didn't flip out till he went white
-if you really track it. -SPADE: Yeah, that's true.
-CHRISTINA P: Yeah. Right. -SPADE: All right.
We're being mean girls. Let's move on.
All right, Jennifer Lawrence,
future friend of the show-- she came out...
This is sort of a confusing story.
She came out with a list of ideas
for a wedding registry on Amazon.
But I'm not sure what's going on here, but I'm gonna find out.
Uh, it's her... wedding registry gift guide. Uh...
-SLOAN: "Philanthropist." -SPADE: Philanthropist, yeah.
-Oh, boy. -Because it's free shipping.
-Yeah. -Um, but...
I think that's better than what I do, but it's...
She is getting married,
but I don't know if this is hers
or a commercial that she's...
-CHRISTINA P: Yeah. -An ad. What do you think?
Well, like, no one believes
that Jennifer Lawrence is using a Keurig.
Like, she probably just...
Like, she has an espresso machine
-that an Italian man just lives in. -SPADE: Right.
-A pizza stone. She's not making anything with Keurigs. -No. -No.
I think what's annoying personally to me
is when celebrities pretend to be normal people, you know?
Or, like, remember when... like that sitcom
Zooey Deschanel did, and they just put glasses on her,
and they're like, "She's ugly."
-No, you're not. -Oh, New Girl.
Like, the girl from Hunger Games is not getting a panini press.
Like, I'm not doing it with you.
I'm not... I love Jennifer Lawrence.
-I do, too. -I think that she will historically go down
as the biggest movie star ever, because of her talent.
She could do comedy, drama, she's beautiful.
But if I show up to your wedding, I-I...
You need to give me gifts.
I'm not bringing you a carafe.
-Yeah. -A carafe.
-You're good. -A tray.
A toaster. I need, like, a caviar spread
if I show up to your wedding.
That's it. That's how it's going down.
I'm not giving her a four-in-one adaptor.
None of that. A camera. What do you...
-What do you want? -This is such a boring list, too.
Like, show me some interesting people's lists.
-Like, let's do Charlie Sheen's Amazon list. -SPADE: Yeah!
I want to see, like...
-Right? -Gold-plated straws. I got it.
A straws, a bucket of lube and no condoms.