What up?
What up, Uncle Roy?
Check this out.
You like this facial hair?
You see what I’m growing?
-OK. OK. -Yeah.
Hey, man, just out here trying to figure out
one of these new filters on Instagram.
What are you doing?
Yo, so I just downloaded TikTok.
I’mma need your help.
I know I got way too much gray in my beard to be on TikTok.
The kids... It’s dancing.
There’s a lot of dance videos.
I don’t have time to learn all these dances.
I have multiple jobs.
Let’s convo.
So the new song for the summer
is Megan Thee Stallion’s “Thot Shit,” right?
’Cause we need an anthem. We need a hymn.
We need a spiritual.
This is supposed to be the song of the summer, right?
But the Black TikTok dance creators have decided that
because their dances keep getting stolen by white people
and they keep getting credit for it,
they’re not doing a dance this summer for “Thot Shit.”
So, like, I will say this.
It takes a lot of fortitude as a Black creator
to not dance to Megan Thee Stallion on camera.
Oh man!
So hats off to them.
It’s like me giving up sugar.
I mean truly.
It’s a tough one.
Truly. Or me giving up on these dating apps,
’cause they keep making me sad, but I keep going back!
So...
-I mean – -I don’t know how to respond to that,
but I will just listen to you
and just let you know I am here for you.
Thank you.
And I might have a single friend for you.
Shout-out. Listen, this is how, you know... This is how the community comes together.
What I am enjoying, though,
is that Black creators are roasting
the white girls who are trying to create.
They don’t know what to do with the rhythm.
Oh, I’ve seen it.
They don’t know how to create.
It is Boston Market. It is Kenny Rogers Roasters.
It is a full luau.
We are out here, spit roasting. It is amazing.
Somebody sent me one, and it was
the girl with her hands in the air.
This... That is not Thot Shit.
She gave you the instructions.
Hands on your knees, shake your ass.
It’s Thot Shit.
There ain’t no stealing on TikTok
’cause nothing new.
People have sent me videos of my stand-up
being lip-synced to on TikTok,
your stand-up being lip-synced to on TikTok,
and neither one of us are getting credit.
Would you like to fight?
Yes, I would.
You want to come back tonight when it’s closed?
No, let’s fight right now during normal business hours.
Old Testament God is my favorite God
’cause he played no games.
“I told y’all to stop doing this dumb shit.
I told you – you know what, flood the earth!
Try me again. Try me again.”
OK, tiny white lady,
you could at least said “Dulcé Sloan stand-up” or something.
To me, the difference, though,
is that when someone lip-syncs our stand-up comedy,
it is understood that they are not a comedian
and they are not a professional comic.
Folks have been bootlegging my shit for 20 years.
But when you get into the dances, it’s like,
we don’t know whether or not you created that or not.
The only dance that Black people
have stolen from white people is the moonwalk,
and Michael Jackson did it much better.
Because when Neil Armstrong did it,
he was bouncing across the moon at one-third gravity,
and no one – you’ve never seen anybody in the club doing that.
Why you bringing Neil Armstrong into this?
He ain’t done nothing to nobody.
So if the social media companies recognize
that Black creatives are the reason
for all of the eyeballs on the app
and they instead invest in them,
or create systems in place to stop this type of theft,
it would mean more money for them
and for the people
who deserve the credit in the first place.
But also you see some white girl doing a dance,
you know she didn’t come up with that.
I don’t remember which late-night show it was,
but the white girl went on the late-night show
doing all the Black dances,
and the Black dancers never got credit.
So they had to bring the Black dancers on, like, a week later,
like, “Hey, sorry about that.
These are the ones that actually did the thing.”
So they did, ’cause that was that Addison Rae girl
who’s been hanging out with Kourtney Kardashian.
And it is interesting that a girl
that was stealing Black culture
was hanging out with the people
that be stealing Black culture.
I guess she went to –
I guess she wanted to go to a master class
on how to steal from Black folks.
Ooh, saucy. You saucy today.
It just makes sense.
You study at the feet of the master.
You know what I mean?
I mean – and I love all of them Kardashians,
but, you know, there be some – there’s thievery.
I just think it’s frustrating
that we keep trying to teach white people Black history,
but the only Black history they wanna take from us
is dancing.
I mean, I guess there has to be a way
where a part of the dance is you talking
about, you know, redlining, gentrification...
We just gotta sneak Black history
into these TikTok dances.
Yeah, like, if part of the dance is them reading a book,
you know, flipping pages,
we need a song to go with it.