- (gasps) Look what's back!
It's the famous jug full of things Phoebe has cut out,
and then I just guess.
Today, what are we guessing?
Well, inside here are some terrible movie reviews.
I will read them, and then tell you what I think
the movie is that was being reviewed.
Wow, that was a really complicated way
of saying what we're doing.
But do you get what I mean?
Bad movie reviews, I guess the movie.
Okay, right.
(electronic music)
There were too many dresses.
Is that it?
There were too many dresses.
Okay, so it's a movie, and there were too many dresses.
Well, there's a movie called 27 Dresses,
and if it's this movie, that's really funny.
- [Phoebe] That's correct! - It's 27 Dresses! (laughs)
That's funny.
I wouldn't say that's bad.
Fun movie trivia.
The 27 dresses were not dresses.
They were, in fact, skirts.
Bet no one picked up on that.
(boisterous laughing)
Definitely real, look it up.
It was too quiet.
No one freaking speaks.
Oh my God, I know this one.
I absolutely know this one, and it won the Oscar.
It's the black and white one.
It's a silent film.
Remember that one that won the Oscar?
It was a silent film.
What was, Noir?
Noir.
What was it called?
And it had the dog in it.
Oh, nope, nope, I know what it is.
Please tell me it's A Quiet Place.
- [Phoebe] Yes!
- Are you sure you haven't just picked
amazingly hilarious reviews for movies?
A fun fact about The Quiet Place is
Sir Anthony Hopkins played the monster.
No one knew that.
But if you pause a particular scene,
you can actually see where the mask peels off,
and you can see part of his face.
Naked aliens?
Not even an original idea.
I don't know why I watched this again.
It gets worse every time.
Naked aliens.
Sigourney Weaver's Aliens.
- [Phoebe] No.
- Why did you get scared when I said Sigourney Weaver?
- [Ben] Because she's in it.
- Oh, wow.
Sigourney Weaver.
What else is she in?
Aliens Two.
Aliens Three?
Aliens The Covenant.
Aliens Attack.
- [Ben] She's not the main character in this movie.
- [Phoebe] Do you want a clue?
- Oh, my God, if you're going to give me the genre
and you say horror.
- [Phoebe] Sci-fi.
- Well, of course it is, it's aliens.
I'm going to get this, Sigourney Weaver.
Freaky Friday. (laughs)
- [Ben] That's not Sigourney Weaver.
That's Jamie Lee Curtis. - Oh, that's Jamie Lee Curtis!
God, they all look the same.
- [Ben] Do you want me to give you the director?
- Oh no, the director will be Rip Torn.
He directed the Alien movies.
(bright music)
- [Phoebe] I was going to give, not an actor as a clue.
I was going to give something else as a clue.
- Tell me, yep.
- [Phoebe] They use their ponytails to have sex.
- Oh!
Yeah, I saw that on Pornhub.
Yeah, featuring Sigourney Weaver, but she's not the lead.
Yeah, she gets (beep) a little bit off to the side.
You can't put any of this in.
(screen beeping) I know exactly what this is,
it's obviously Avatar.
There are studies--
- [Ben] That is not a clue.
- If you go back to some previous videos
where I'm guessing stuff, Phoebe's clues are sometimes
just the answer.
Fun fact about Avatar.
They shot an alternate ending where
Sam Worthington's character and the other blue avatar
fall off a cliff into the pool, and a door floats by.
And then the blue avatar gets on it,
that Sam Wellington's character can't fit.
And then he drowns and dies.
But the producers were like, this is really similar
to the other film that he made.
This movie should have blown us out of the water.
Instead we catch ourselves occasionally thinking
the unpardonable thought, okay, sink already.
Oh, this is another James Cameron movie.
Titanic.
Fun fact about the Titanic.
The sequel, which is obviously Avatar, we all know.
The iceberg broke off into all the blue creatures.
And that's how we have Titanic Two: Avatar.
That's so dumb.
I have a comedy show if you want to go and see it.
Really good, quick witted.
Really funny. (giggles)
- [Phoebe] Do you want to know another fun fact
about the Titanic?
- No. - [Phoebe] Oh.
(boisterous laughing)
- I've had mosquito bites that were more passionate
than this undead, unrequited, and altogether un-fun,
pseudo romantic riff on Romeo and Juliet.
What a pompous, (beep) review.
Oh wah, wah, wah, wah.
I don't even know what half those words mean.
I would say it's a film based off of Romeo and Juliet,
which is every film.
No passion, oh my God.
It, 50 Shades of Gray.
- [Phoebe] No. - Oh, damn.
- [Phoebe] The genre is romantic fantasy.
- Romantic fantasy?
I've had mosquito bites that were more passionate
than this undead.
Undead, so zombies? - [Phoebe[ Close!
- Vampires.
Oh, obviously.
Yes.
I mean, I never watched the films, but yeah.
Rob Pattinson, Vampires-R-Us, or Vampire Diaries.
I Inserted Myself Into a Vampire.
Vampires and Werewolves.
Vampira Finds a Werewolf.
What the (beep) is it called?
EL James wrote it, or EL Gray, or the 50 shades woman
wrote it, didn't she?
No, she didn't write it.
Vampires!
Robert Pattinson's in the vampire.
Interview With a Vampire.
You sure it's not Vampire Diaries?
Oh, oh!
Moonlight!
Werewolves and Moonlights.
(beep) It's got light in it.
Lighting, lightning!
Vampire Lightning.
Sunlight, Sunset Light, Light Fun.
Oh (beep), it's Twilight.
(Phoebe laughing)
Sun Setting Light, that's, yep.
Twilight.
What was it called that?
I like Werewolves and Vampire Diaries.
Fun fact about Twilight is they did want to call it
Vampire Diaries and Werewolves.
That is a true story.
A must see for those who hate
plot and character development.
If you can't get enough of brainless violence,
and seeing bad actors getting ripped up and eaten alive,
this movie is for you.
Violent.
Actors getting ripped apart, and really no plot.
Oh!
Oh no, but Kill Bill had a plot.
That was really good.
Is it Kill Bill?
- [Phoebe] No. - No, no, no.
Sharknado? - [Phoebe] No.
- Pirana 3D.
Is it a well-known movie?
- [Phoebe] Very well known. - Stop it.
Is this an unjust review?
Is it actually quite a good film?
- [Phoebe] I think you would be very angry at this review.
It's an action movie.
- Wow, what a shock.
Jurassic Park?
Why are you hesitating?
Jurassic Park, oh, The Lost World.
What's the one, the one with Bryce Dallas Howard
and the blue guy.
He goes, "No, Blue."
Who's really hot, Chris, not Hemsworth.
- [Ben] Pratt. - Chris Pratt, that one.
It's called The Lost World, no.
It's called Jurassic Park, the Jurassic Experience.
The Jurassic World. - [Phoebe] Yes!
- That's not what it's called.
- [Ben] Jurassic World. - [Phoebe] Yeah,
Jurassic World.
- You know what?
I kind of agree.
A scientist tries to keep people together forever.
A scientist,
making science things, tries to keep people
together forever.
I want people to be, together, oh.
Human Centipede.
- [Phoebe] Yes! - Yes!
Because I'm sadistic.
Fun fact about The Human Centipede is
the guy who was fifth in line
said by the time the shit had passed through all the people,
it actually tasted really nice.
How are you still here watching this?
Another Disney movie, oh there's a hint.
Where they kill the mum in the first act.
I thought this might be at least half
as good as the sequel, but it is not.
Sequel Disney movie.
The mum dies.
I'm just going through Disney Plus in my mind.
Boop, boop.
All I can see is the Mandalorian,
because it's just so in your face.
Boop.
And then it accidentally goes back to the Mandalorian.
Boop, boop.
Ah (beep), I scrolled too far.
Beep, bop, beep, boop, boop.
Ah, goddamn it!
Is it a really obvious one?
- [Phoebe] Yes. - Oh God.
- Rove McManus was in it.
- In a Disney movie?
(water gushing)
(dinging) - Mine.
- (screams) All right, I'll talk!
I'll talk!
They went to the fishing grounds!
- [Ben] 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.
- Oh, I was close.
Finding Nemo.
Finding Dory was a great film.
Oh and the mother dies?
Oh yeah.
Aw, that was sad.
After watching this movie, my wife made me get
an in-home security system with cameras and motion sensors
for my son's room.
Uh, Taken, Stolen.
- [Phoebe] So the genre is family.
- It doesn't sound like a family movie.
Motion sensors, oh, because they don't want
their son to get out rather than people get in?
So that would be Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
- [Ben] Think about this room that you're in at the moment.
We all leave.
And then--
- (gasps) Paranormal Activity.
- [Phoebe] Family animation!
- Oh.
Dinosaur.
Scruffy the Tugboat?
Unicorn Trolls, the Dino Trolls.
After watching this movie, my wife made me get
an in-home security system with cameras
and motion sensors for motion capture.
To motion capture, oh!
To see if toys come alive?
Oh, oh that is in Toy Story!
And so is the dinosaur!
When did we get trolls?
Toy Story.
- [Phoebe] Yes!
- Real fun fact about Toy Story is
where they accidentally delete the entire animation,
and then they can't get it back.
And then they have to call the lady
that took maternity leave,
because she was in charge of backing it up,
and then panicked because she was on maternity leave.
But she had backed up Toy Story,
and then they got it from that.
Did you know that?
- [Ben] Is that a true story? - Yeah, it's a true story.
They accidentally deleted the entirety of all the animation.
It's a real fact.
Google it, I promise, Google it right now.
Toy Story Two deleted, Google it.
You don't believe me, Google it.
Okay, I think it's more of a first date movie.
If your date likes it, do not date that person again.
And if you like it, there may not be a second date.
What's a terrible movie to go on a date?
I mean, the Human Centipede is technically
not a great first date movie, but that's where I would go
because I'd be like, you want to do a bit of that later?
Oh, well, I, oh.
Oh, you're throwing up.
Oh, throw up into my mouth. (giggling)
Okay, that's why I have never gone on a date before.
(groans) Who's in it?
- [Ben] It's an ensemble.
- Oh!
Love, Actually is a good one to take people to.
It's that followup to Love, Actually.
It's called Valentine's Day.
That's the one. - [Phoebe] Yeah!
- (beep) We got there with 9,000 clues.
Fun fact about Valentine's Day is that movie
was entirely shot on Valentine's Day,
which is why they called it Valentine's Day.
They were no wolves in this movie.
Oh, Twilight. (chuckles)
Dancing with Wolves!
- [Ben] It's not that. - Oh.
Do they dance with wolves in that movie?
- [Ben] There's a wolf in it.
- Do they dance with it?
That's misleading.
There were no wolves in this movie.
I mean, that's a lot of movies.
I'm not going to lie.
There are a lot of movies without wolves.
I'm going to say it was (groans)
Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Oh, that was the worst clue to give me!
She did that-- - [Phoebe] No I didn't!
- Which is obviously the cooking one,
where they sprinkle the salt on the thing.
(beep) it's called Wolf of Wall Street.
Your clues are so (beep) great.
You may as well just have gone
the clue is, it sounds like Loaf of Laws Street.
Lost girl kills the first person she meets,
then teams up with others to kill again.
Hello. (imitates knife unsheathing)
And now team up, and I'll kill you.
And that would be Kill Bill?
- [Phoebe] Family fantasy.
- Family?
Lost girl kills the first person she--
- [Phoebe] Goosh!
- Lost girl kills the first person she meets--
- [Phoebe] Goosh!
- Gush Land.
Gush Land. - [Phoebe] No.
- Then teams up with others to kill again.
Goosh, goosh!
Phoebe's hints go from being blatantly obvious,
or just useless as all hell.
Goosh goosh, that's the hint.
Oh!
Goosh, goosh.
- [Phoebe] Lost, goosh, kill.
Team up with people, kill again.
- [Ben] I need a clue here. - [Phoebe] Red shoes!
- [Ben] That's a big clue.
- Yeah I know, but lost girl kills, oh yeah.
And then teams up with others to kill again.
She doesn't kill again.
- [Phoebe] I'm melting!
- Oh, it's Wizard of Oz.
Damn it. - [Ben] Sorry,
what's the goosh?
- The house falling. - [Phoebe] The house, goosh!
- So I just want to pull you up on one thing.
The house doesn't go goosh, okay?
I've seen this movie so many times.
It's the black and white scene,
and she's like, ah, ah!
And then it goes, go-dunk!
No, it's a bit deeper.
It's like go-dunk, no, boom.
Thump, thump, like shoomp.
It's like a thump.
(instrumental music)
(Toto barks)
That was a terrible clue, you are fired.
One more to go.
Christ, my (beep) stick.
There was not enough penis, I was not pleased.
Oh (beep), do we have 20 minutes?
(bright music)
(screen beeping)
Last one that I'm redoing, because I made too many
inappropriate jokes about it that Phoebe said
I would get canceled for.
Reading it for the first time.
There was not enough penis, I was not pleased.
That could be so many movies.
Obviously I won't mention the movies
that I mentioned previously,
which were mostly children's movies.
God, that could be literally every film
where there's no penis.
As I said earlier, I would go to a movie
and just watch 90 minutes of just a man's penis
on the screen, and be like (claps).
Standing ovation from me.
- [Phoebe] Can I give you an actor in it?
- Yes.
- [Phoebe] Can I say that one?
- [Ben] No, you can't say that one.
- [Phoebe] He was in so many movies!
- [Ben] No, you cannot say that one.
- [Phoebe] But he's in so many movies!
- [Ben] No, no.
- Settle down.
I want to hear Phoebe's clue,
and if I get it straight away,
then Phoebe is the worst clue giver of all time,
because you're not supposed to give clues
that are blatantly obvious, as Ben thinks this clue is.
And the clue is?
- [Phoebe] Channing Tatum.
- Are you (beep) joking?
- [Phoebe] He's in a million movies!
- With strippers?
No, he's in one strip film.
You don't think I would not know
what the stripper film, what's the Magic Mike or whatever,
what's his character's name?
His name's Mike, yeah.
Fun fact, I've never actually seen Magic Mike
because they don't get naked in it.
What have we learned from this video?
We've learned that Phoebe is terrible at giving clues.
We've also learned that I'm not allowed
to make jokes about penises and children's movies.
And we've also learned that Robert Pattinson
was in a movie called Twilight.
Thank God.
And soon to be in a movie called
Vampire Diaries and Werewolves.
(instrumental music)
- [Phoebe] Goosh!
- I was so disappointed.
I signed up to this thinking it would be fun,
but instead it's (beep) boring and snoozeable.
Oh, that's the monthly subscription fee
to my supporter page.
Join my supporter page, and you can get great content
like this review said, wow.
Join it now on Facebook for three, two, one. (laughs)