Little did I know, back when I was drawing lines on my high school geometry notebook,
that one day...that�s how we�d play video games. And not just any video games. Bowling
video games. We�d be...drawing lines, to throw our balls.
Actually, even then, I would�ve hated that idea. The future didn�t impress me.
Nonetheless, that�s the whole schtick behind Smash Bowling 3D...a game with a name that�s
just totally deceptive. There�s no smashing here. Unless you were looking forward to the
smashing so much that the lack thereof caused to actually smash your 3DS. In which case...you
big goof.
Good luck explaining that one, at the store.
�Yeah, hi. Hey, I was super pissed about drawing lines to throw my balls so I broke
my 3DS. You think I could get a replacement? This one�s smashed.�
Er go, Smash Bowling 3D.
This game was just released to the 3DS eShop, and to be fair, it�s not a bad game. It�s
just really simple. And weird. This is a bowling game with the bare minimum required to be...a
bowling game. There�s a single-player mode, a multiplayer mode and a practice mode. That�s
it. This is a five dollar game, and the price is definitely reflective of the content. So
you should know that heading into Smash Bowling 3D.
And again, the game�s entire focus is control. It�s designed around a touch-based control
scheme that�s...a little bit strange, and unexpected. There are four little slider controls
down on the touch screen, each one adjusting a different element of the upcoming roll.
Positioning, power, spin...things like that.
Adjust them all, and you�re ready to draw.
Yeah, that�s right. I said �draw.�
It�s like...freaking, study hall.
So after you�ve set all the sliders, the game crunches the numbers and puts a line
on the touch screen. Basically, that line represents your perfect shot. But to make
the shot, you have to trace that line with your stylus. And not only that, you have to
do it at just the right speed. Too fast or too slow, and you can totally screw up your
aim.
As if the controls weren�t screwy enough.
It�s not that it doesn�t work. It does. It�s just that...to me, it feels like, three
more steps than there should be for a bowling game. I don�t know, I guess I just wasn�t
into the idea. But again...to the game�s credit, it works just fine. It�s surprisingly
precise, too. And the one thing I do like about it is that...there�s still an element
of skill involved. You can meticulously set those sliders, you can get your aim just right...but
you still have to draw the line. So there�s both planning and execution involved here.
I just wish there were more content. Again, the single-player mode is just...single games.
It tracks your stats, but that�s the extent of its �career� elements. The multiplayer
is just a pass-around-the-system type of thing, so that�s not very impressive. There are
different balls and alleys to unlock, but...again, not many.
There�s also a button-based control scheme, but...ugh.
Look at this. It�s like a minigame. It�s the worst thing ever.
You have adjust your expectations for a game like this. I mean, this is a five dollar bowling
game meant to provide an interesting take on touch-based bowling controls. And as strange
as it seems, it actually succeeds in that respect. So I guess...if you�re looking
for some short rounds of bowling on the go, with weird controls...
I mean, Smash Bowling 3D is at least a spare.