- [Steve] America is living in a nightmare.
A devastating pandemic, an economy in tatters,
a culture lost and adrift.
- Guess what mother (beep)?
- [Steve] And overseeing it all,
a president who threatens to tear the country apart
at its seams.
Our nation cries out for a great man of history
to lead us out of the darkness.
But since we don't have one, let's go with this guy.
- We hold these truths to be self evident.
All men and women created by go, you know,
the, you know, the thing.
- [Steve] Joe Biden, acceptable under the circumstances.
Joe Biden was born in 1942 in Pennsylvania,
a state in America.
Then his family moved to Delaware.
Another state in America.
It's not the most exciting story for president,
but you know what it is?
Constitutionally sufficient.
After a childhood doing whatever you do in Delaware,
Joe went on to attend the University of Delaware
and the Syracuse University School of Law.
Two schools that are near the top
of their states, geographically.
No, they weren't Harvard, but they were fine.
I mean, he's going to be able to read
an intelligence briefing.
And armed with this perfectly adequate education,
Joe Biden was elected to the United States Senate in 1972,
where he spent the next 36 years
building a perfectly adequate record.
Some good stuff, some bad stuff.
Overall, a solid B minus.
Yeah, maybe he shouldn't have worked with segregationists
to oppose busing.
Kamala was right.
That was a big mistake.
- It was hurtful.
- [Steve] But you know who got over it? Kamala.
So if she cool with it, what's your problem?
And besides, you know what mistake he didn't make?
Partying with Jeffrey Epstein at Mar-a-Lago.
So let's not overthink this one, okay?
The point is, throughout his political career,
Joe Biden never went off the rails.
In fact, this guy loves rails.
- I'm the biggest railroad guy you've ever known.
- He was known as Amtrak Joe.
- He's Amtrak Joe.
- Amtrak Joe.
- [Reporter] Biden has made more than 7,900 round trips
to Washington DC.
- [Steve] Yes, Amtrak Joe loves his choo-choos.
Now, is it the most normal thing for an adult man
to think trains are that cool?
Not really, but so what?
The guy wants more trains.
It's not like he wants to nuke hurricanes.
He's not out here trying to buy Greenland for Christ's sake.
We can live with trains.
Throughout his career in public service
Joe Biden's served the people with honor, integrity
and sometimes free massages.
Seriously, his biggest scandal
was plagiarizing part of a speech once.
Can you imagine that even being a scandal today?
I'd kill for a scandal like that today.
At least with plagiarism, you know the guy can read.
But, Joe Biden's greatest achievements
were to come, not as a senator
but as the 47th vice president of the United States.
Where he served alongside Barack Obama!
That's right, your favorite president,
the savior of the economy,
the hero of healthcare, Nobel peace prize winner,
and oh, yeah, murderer of Osama bin Ladin.
That Barack Obama. - Obama.
- [Steve] Joe spent eight years
as President Obama's trusted right-hand man,
working so closely with him
that soon even Biden couldn't tell
where he ended and Obama began.
- O'Biden-Bama Democrat.
- [Steve] Yes, so Biden's time as vice president
has undoubtedly prepared him
for the presidency's most fundamental task,
knowing which building the White House is.
And once Joe is inside that White House,
he will lead America forward
with a bold progressive agenda.
- Joe Biden, who has told his big donors that, quote,
"nothing will fundamentally change if he's elected."
- Americans aren't looking for revolution.
No, I don't support defunding the police.
- [Reporter] Against Medicare for all.
- It is totally unrealistic.
- Elizabeth Warren says,
she's going to propose a wealth tax.
(Joe Biden chuckles)
- [Steve] Fine, not bold, bold-ish or something,
but what matters is, it's not insane.
And considering the shit-storm we're in right now,
we'll take it.
I haven't been outside in six months.
Look, here's the thing,
Joe Biden isn't as inspiring as Obama.
He doesn't have the fearless vision of FDR
or the rhetorical gift of John F. Kennedy.
- My name is Joe Biden, I love ice cream.
- [Steve] But what Joe is, and what he has always been,
and what he will be as your next president,
is not Donald Trump.
- Person, woman, man, camera, TV.
- [Steve] So, come on, man.
- Come on, man.
- [Steve] Come on, man.
- Come on, man.
- [Steve] Come on, come on!
And that's what makes Joe Biden
acceptable under the circumstances.
- [Joe] Come on, man.