- Heya playa.
Have you ever been in the situation
where your friend was struggling with something
and you weren't quite sure how to help them out,
how to make them feel okay,
how to just make things be normal again?
Don't worry.
In this video,
I'm gonna share a few tips on what you can do
to help your friend who's dealing with a lot right now.
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my name is Josh
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Now when it comes to someone struggling,
it's not always a visible thing.
You can't always tell right off the bat
whether or not someone's dealing with something.
So if you start to get hints in their behavior
or in the way that they're speaking
or in them not speaking to you,
it's something you might want to take notice of.
For example, they may be less involved
in group activities,
they may not want to hang out as much,
they may not talk to you as much
or give you short answers like yeah, okay
and not really be as engaged in conversations.
And sometimes it's just the case
that they need a little distance from everyone.
Maybe they're more introverted
and don't always want to be surrounded by people.
But if you're noticing sadness or depression
attached to how they're talking to you,
that's something you might want to address with them.
But how do you address it?
How do you bring it up to them
without making things awkward or weird?
What if they're not sad or depressed
and you just end up looking like a weirdo for asking them?
Well, the best way that I've learned
to approach someone
and to talk to them about what's going on
is to ask them this simple question,
are you okay?
Is everything alright?
And their answer may vary.
Sometimes they might say everything is fine
and don't worry about it
and don't even ask them about it
and other times they might say no,
things are horrible
and I'm struggling with this problem.
And some of the most common problems that people deal with
aren't things that you can directly resolve.
For example,
if they're having thoughts of suicide,
you're not a therapist,
you're just a friend.
If they're dealing with family issues,
you're not maybe involved with their family
so you can't direct that.
If they're failing their classes,
in that situation, you might be able
to work with them and study,
but overall they need a tutor or outside assistance.
The fact of the matter is this,
if it's a person you care about,
the best thing that you can offer them
is your love and kindness.
And the best way to offer that love and kindness
is to let them know that you're there for them.
Sometimes when people are dealing with issues,
they feel like they're all alone
like no one will understand them
and if they talk about it,
they're just venting or complaining.
And no one ever wants to be the complainer.
So your role here is to be that nonjudgmental listener,
to approach with love and kindness
and to show them that no matter what's going on,
you accept them for who they are.
But let's dial back for a second
and really talk about what you can do
if they're dealing with some of the most common problems.
For example, if they're having thoughts
of suicide and depression,
you might want to encourage them
to talk to their parents about it,
to find a school counselor,
to see an outside counselor.
Knowing that there's people out there
who care about them and want to help them
and want to help them process what they're going through,
might be the kind of support that they need
or if they're dealing with a bad breakup
or they just got disconnected from their friends,
you might want to show them what life is like
without those people,
that they can still embrace the fun things in life
and have a good time.
And you're just one of the friends
who are gonna help them do it.
Another common problem your friend might run into
is that they might start linking up with a bad crowd.
They might start picking up bad behaviors
and doing things that are not really enhancing their life
but are actually bringing it downward.
Well, for you as a concerned friend,
the best thing you can do
is to let them know that you accept them for who they are.
A lot of times when people get mixed up with bad crowds
it's because they're longing for acceptance.
They're trying to find people
that can make them feel cool or valuable
or have any kind of meaning.
So if you can help provide that as their friend
to show them that they don't need
to change who they are to fit in,
then that's the best you can offer.
Now I know I only scratched the surface
with talking about the different types of problems
that your friend might be running into.
Maybe they're in a bad relationship,
maybe they have an eating disorder.
There's a whole slew of other things
that might be going on.
So I want you to leave a comment down below
letting me know what your friend is dealing with
and how you want to help them.
Remember though,
there's only so much that you can do.
So it's important sometimes
to redirect them to a school counselor, a parent
or someone else that can offer them
professional or more advanced advice.
Now what I want you to do
is check out a playlist over there
where I break down how to have awesome friendships,
how to really build strong relationships
that last with people.
Think those videos are gonna be super helpful
so go check 'em out.
And I know guys I'll catch you next time.
As always love and peace.