[music playing]
KIMBER: Things are so much more good than bad, though.
That's why, like-- - Yeah.
- --I feel like-- - Well--
--we should focus on that for a second.
--but we do need to talk to them about this, though.
Obviously.
Shannon and I have such strong feelings for each other,
but honestly, and unfortunately, I
feel like we're seeing evidence of a much bigger problem that
could be a dealbreaker for us.
It's been a dealbreaker in the past.
So we decide to have a meeting with the experts.
We just wanted to check in with you guys.
We've got one thing we want to talk about with you.
What's been going on?
[music playing]
Kids.
I don't really want kids.
Really?
That surprises me.
I feel like, because of the amount of time
I've already spent analyzing it, thinking about it,
talking about it, I feel pretty, like, set.
SHANNON: I mean, I'm not absolutely
sold on kids, either.
I love them, but I don't know if I want some.
But I just don't like the close-mindedness,
like 100% no kids.
With me, I need open-mindedness.
I don't like absolutes.
Everything is open for discussion.
But like, I don't think I'm gonna get
nowhere just me talking to her.
So sitting in front of the experts
and having this open dialogue will help me and Kimber.
So I'm curious, Kimber, about what the reasons are.
What's brought you to make this kind
of a decision for yourself?
It's not that I hate kids.
Like, I love kids.
I would honestly rather raise a kid that wasn't mine.
Are you saying adoption, or someone else's children?
Like--
CALVIN ROBERSON: Or what are you saying?
--if he already had a kid that was part of him and not me.
But something about the idea of, like, a miniature version
of myself freaks me out.
What is it about you that you don't want to see reproduced?
I guess just, like, I was a not happy kid or teenager.
I just wasn't comfortable.
And it would be really frustrating
for me to have someone come home from school
and look just like me and be just like me,
and go through the same kind of negative feelings.
I just hate the thought of it.
Did you struggle with depression at all?
Yeah, until my early 20s.
And is that something that you're afraid of,
sort of passing that down, too?
KIMBER: Definitely.
Listening to Kimber just open up and tell
me, like, her depression and she don't want a mini her,
it's sad.
It's like mind-blowing to me, because she's
a wonderful person.
And if I had a mini Kimber, that'd be a good thing.
I mean, I hear what you're saying.
But for all that you've gone through,
you said you don't want to a little person
that resembles you.
From day one--
JESSICA GRIFFIN: Why not?
CALVIN ROBERSON: --from day one we've said,
Kimber is incredible.
Thank you.
JESSICA GRIFFIN: And I don't think-- you know, in this
conversation, nobody is gonna-- CALVIN ROBERSON: No.
--no one is trying to change your mind.
CALVIN ROBERSON: Oh, god no.
And I think that it's just great that you're
having this conversation now.
It's one, then, which you should be
empowered to make whatever choice
you want to make regardless.
It's just having a space in your relationship
where you can talk about it and be open to,
you know what, I might change my mind.
I can't promise you that right now.
CALVIN ROBERSON: Right. KIMBER: Yeah.
Just like you might change your mind.
Communication on key topics, like whether
or not to have kids, is vital for a growing relationship.
I applaud Kimber and Shannon for both being willing to listen
to each other's reasons for how they feel
and agreeing to keep an open dialogue on this topic.
But if neither budges, this could be a huge roadblock
as they work toward marriage.
Whatever arrangement you decide to have,
it's your family and your decisions to make.
Yeah.
KIMBER: Like, yeah, I'm comfortable calling it a maybe.
I hope that the takeaway here is that I am who
I am because of my experiences.
And I do want to start fresh with you, but I--
anything that you like about me is
also because of my experiences.
CALVIN ROBERSON: Absolutely.
So I can't just write those off.
CALVIN ROBERSON: Absolutely. KIMBER: You know what I mean?
That's fair.
That's my part of it.
JESSICA GRIFFIN: Very wise. - That's good.
Very well put.
Thanks.