we're all adults what's the harm we can do this with dignity self-restraint and dare i say honor
I will paint my face white. No man may have me
No Ma i'm not high i'm done with that phase
why are you talking like that?
like what? i'm just hanging out
how many drinks you had tonight
nine plus three minus one
i need all the cash you have and nick's passport
i'm gone for two months and all of a sudden winston's a bridesmaid
have Schmidty have you seen Abby
i see something
lionfish! Son of a
jellyfish
remember when we lived in that loft and like
we had all those problems?
who's gonna believe the machine?
i'm gonna believe the machine
this is bull
damn it you
you're wearing paper towels
no environmental friendly
look i know this is a dumb question
i am so sorry. This is as rude as it gets
it is my mom though
all right hey ma how you doing
Young man young man
take all my money and get out of my room.
you guys come on
fine we play fast sober then back to work
do it again
it's too hard
do it again
hi this is nick miller uh who am i speaking to why are you calling?
do you not have my number saved?
who is this?
who i speaking to
it's it's cece
packing edition you land on something you pack it
redecorate redecorate no redecorate
you don't want to do this my man
yes i do want to do this
it's the only way to get this place back to the way that it was
put them down give them to me
give them to jess
come on buddy it's not worth it
no fear
monday tuesday wednesday
he's got the plague
scatter scatter! hello!
because i'm gonna out drink Miller
you're gonna outdrink Miller? no one out drinks Miller
i do
I guarantee you you don't
you don't know me
this coat is an unfair advantage take it off
No i love the coat
take the coat off
are you freaking out because she hooked up with a woman? that's so boring
i don't understand
Abe lincoln george washington
cherry tree
schmidt- all right i don't know how to do laundry
i knew it! forget it
why can't i have the things that i want
his favorite emotion is the emotion of wanting to bone you
what are we doing out here
this is crazy
what is the big deal
let's just suck it up in french a little
he's cute but come on
nobody's having sex in this loft
no dirty dreams no one had dirty dreams what are you talking about no dirty dreams
so there have been dirty dreams
no
we are not a couple
two seconds later
i give up
this is my reality
i'll never sleep again
i can't believe this this is so dumb
i thought you wanted to sleep schmidt
i don't know how to do that anymore
i've pushed through
my body doesn't know how to sleep
you have to deal with this0 no i don't
now remember everything you hear in true american is a lie knock on wood
okay well now you're just napping
we're not napping we're going on a brain exploration
what now? More beer
i completely appreciate the fluidity of sexuality i'm basically a woman myself
and he can drink forever and ever and ever you'll lose every time
i got that for a nickel
it's disgusting
he did it on purpose! he did it to impress her!
usa
Grover cleveland round none consecutive shots
lesbian road trip
why are you doing this Jess?
why don't you just date a guy that i don't know, you like?
possible sex is the only reason people stay friends with their exes
raining celibacy hallelujah
you told me to relax so self-pleasure is the only thing that relaxes me
seriously?
I don't wanna hear it, I don't wanna hear it
How's your boyfriend
We broke up
Good-riddens, just kidding
how long can you do this for?
i can do this all day
i got it all day too
par-core
What's happening?
Why are you doing that
get me out of here
help
you can't put a women in a fish tank Winston
Jesus took it
a Jesus hawk on a speedboat
the environment
made it out alive
wait wait don't touch me theres uh there's pee everywhere
yeah oh you're so hot
that doesn't make any sense
ages six and up you're up winston you are way up
what am i gonna do he's never gonna speak to me again i'm so embarrassed
no i haven't seen his penis and then boom he's buried in an unmarked grave
you get it you know everyone else thought i was being weird
i thought we were best friends! We are. Apparently not
best friends don't do this schmidt
they do it all the time
welcome to california
It's slippery
let's warm up some jumping jacks
and into your genitals
what?
you don't know that for sure
got a lot going on today so
are you just eating a bowl of jelly
don't go falling in love with me cause i'm lovable as hell
why am i sparkly? sparkly?
red ones and yellow ones the blue ones the pink ones
let's do sex party i socks you in face
you're gonna sex me in my face
what happened
yeah um this is embarrassing
a white man no
well what does security do about it
nothing
typical
whatcha doing
oh you know we're just chilling just chilling
just doing this you know friday nighr
this is the opposite of being alone
how is that even possible
hey guys just pretend i'm not here
this is my nightmare
three more cocktail johnny
do you think i was sober for that
i'm gonna go do stuff with a girl yeah
oh god