>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW"!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU BECAUSE
MY FIRST GUEST HOSTS "FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE," AND
SHE JUST SHOT AN HOUR-LONG SPECIAL IN PUERTO RICO.
♪ ♪
>> I HAVE A SONG.
I HAVE A SONG, YEAH.
♪ VOTING IS IMPORTANT ♪ ♪ DO YOUR CIVIC D DUTY GUIS GUYS
GALS ♪ ♪ THAT MEANS YOU AND YOU AND YOU
AND YOU ♪ ♪ PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR ♪
♪ LET'S VOTE ♪ OKAY, GUYS, THAT'S FINE.
FINE.
♪ ♪
PLEASE WELCOME SAMANTHA BEE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE?
THE CLIP THAT YOU JUST SHOWED WAS DIRECTED BY TYLER HALL WHO
USED TO WORK HERE.
>> Stephen: TYLER IS FANTASTIC.
PLEASE SAY HI.
>> HI, TYLER.
>> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
I'M VERY WELL, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU WENT TO THE MARCH FOR OUR LIVES
IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
>> YES.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'M SO GLAD WE WENT.
WE HAVE A REFURBISHED BUS THAT WE RIDE.
>> Stephen: I THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE YOU SAID YOU HAD A REEFER
BUS.
STOLE IT FROM WILLIE NELSON.
YOU HAVE A REFURBISHED HERMAN CAIN CAMPAIGN BUS?
>> YES.
WE WANTED TO FULLY SUPPORT.
I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING OTHER THAN JUST BEING THERE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT, BEING THERE.
>> WE HAD ART SUPPLIES OUT.
>> Stephen: COLORING TIME.
GLITTER GLUE, MARKERS IF PEOPLE WANTED TO CHANGE THEIR
SIGNS OR USE ONE OF OURS AND HAD PHONE CHARGERS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T
CONNECT WITH TEENS UNLESS YOU HAVE PHONE CHARGERS.
>> Stephen: THEN YOU'RE THE PIDE PIPER, YOU CAN MAKE THEM DO
ANYTHING AT THAT POINT.
>> CORRECT.
>> Stephen: IT GIVES ME HOPE BECAUSE PEOPLE MY AGE HAVE JUST
SCREWED THE POOCH SO BADLY.
( LAUGHTER ) AND YOU GO, OH, WE'RE NOT THE
LAST HUMANS!
>> YES, EXACTLY!
>> Stephen: THERE IS ANOTHER, YOU KNOW, NEW GANG COMING ALONG
WHO HAVE SEEN OUR MISTAKES AND WILL IMPROVE.
>> IT'S NICE TO SEE TEEN AGERS AND YOUNG PEOPLE NOT DOING THE
THINGS WE WERE PROBABLY DOING WHEN WE WERE TEENAGERS.
>> Stephen: 15 OR 16 WHAT WAS SAM BEE DOING?
>> BRACES TANGLED AT A SCHOOL DANCE OR --
>> Stephen: YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE AT A SCHOOL
DANCE?
>> STEPHEN, I WAS STEALING CARS WHEN I WAS 15 YEARS OLD.
>> Stephen: COME ON!
I WAS TAKEN OUT OF SOCIETY.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE BOOSTING CARS?
>> I WAS A DELINQUENT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND, YOU
ACTUALLY STOLE A CAR?
>> CORRECT.
>> Stephen: WHAT KIND?
WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE CAR TO STEEL?
>> WE STOLE SEVERAL CARS!
AAAHHH!
>> Stephen: YOU STOLE THE KEYS OR WOULD YOU HOT WIRE THEM?
>> WE -- I HAD A BOYFRIEND AT THE TIME AND WE WERE A LITTLE
BIT OF A BONNIE AND CLYDE SITUATION.
>> Stephen: WAS HE IS BAD INFLUENCE?
>> HE WAS THEN I BECAME THE BAD INFLUENCE.
IT DIDN'T LAST LONG.
I'M ULTIMATELY A CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL.
I LOVE THE GOLD STAR.
SO IT WAS A STAGE.
I'M NOT RECOMMENDING IT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I THOUGHT I WAS A
TROUBLED KID BUT I NEVER ENGAGED IN GRAND LARCENY
( LAUGHTER ) >> I'M NOT REALLY PROUD OF IT,
BUT -- >> Stephen: YOU SEEM A LITTLE
PROUD OF IT.
>> WELL, IT'S AN INTERESTING FACT ABOUT ME.
>> Stephen: DO YOUR CHILDREN KNOW YOU STOLE CARS?
>> THEY DO AND THEY WOULD NEVER.
THEY ARE SO STRAIGHT LACED, IT'S WONDERFUL.
>> Stephen: I'M SURE YOU SAID THE SAME THING TO YOUR PARENTS,
I WOULD NEVER STEAL A CAR!
>> THEY'RE SO STRAIGHT LACED, IT'S LOVELY.
THEY DON'T APPROVE OFFING IN I DO.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THEY'RE NOT, LIKE,
MOM DON'T BE SO MEAN TO THE PRESIDENT.
>> OH, MY GOSH, IF YOU COME HOME AND HAVE A BEER OR A TINY --
THEY'RE, LIKE, OH, BOY, ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC?
IS THAT WHAT THIS IS?
I HEARD ABOUT THIS?
SCHOOL.
I DO NOT LIKE THIS.
HMM MMM!
THEY ARE VERY JUDGMENTAL.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE GOING TO SAVE US ALL.
>> THEY ARE!
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE WE, 400 DAYS INTO THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY?
IT'S A MARATHON, NOT A SPRINT.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: IF THIS IS A MARATHON, WHERE ARE YOU IN IT?
ARE YOU CRAMPING, ARE YOUR NIPPLES BLEEDING?
WHERE ARE YOU IN THE MARATHON?
>> DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY.
I HAVE LEFT THE MARATHON, STEPHEN.
I TOOK A DETOUR.
I MAYBE WENT A THIRD OF THE WAY THROUGH AND NOW I'M AT THE
CHIRPING CHICKEN HAVING A KABOB.
( LAUGHTER ) I GAVE UP.
>> Stephen: NO!
I'M PRETENDING AND THEN I'M GOING TO COME TO THE END OF THE
RACE.
I'M WRAPPED IN ALL THE BLANKETS LIKE I FINISHED.
>> Stephen: THE FOIL AND EVERYTHING.
>> I'M SHIVERING.
>> Stephen: I'M HITTING THE WALL.
I'M AT MILE 20 NOW AND I'M POOPING MY PANTS AND WILL DEAL
WITH IT LATER.
I HEAR THAT'S A THING.
>> PEOPLE JUST LET IT -- >> Stephen: THEY DO.
BLESS THEM FOR BEING SO BRAVE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: TRUMP TEAM EXPANDS
AND CONTRACTS, YOU KNOW.
THEY LOSE SOME BAD EGGS AND BRING ON SOME SCRAMBLED EGGS.
>> YES, THEY DO!
>> Stephen: JOHN BOLTON IS THE LATEST EDITION TO THE TEAM.
>> YES, HE'S -- >> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR -- DO
YOU HAVE ANY -- HOW DO YOU FEEL --
>> HE SEEMS TERRIFYING TO ME.
TO ME, THE MUSTACHE IS POSSIBLY THE ONLY THING THAT WILL SAVE
US.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, YOU KNOW,ÑiñMi HIS -- >> Stephen: TRUMP DOESN'T LIKE
THE MUSTACHE, YEAH.
>> I FEEL LIKE IF WE ENSURE HE HAS A NICE HOT CUP OF CHUNKY
SOUP EVERY DAY AND GET A LITTLE -- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: LIKE CURRY, SOMETHING THAT'S GOING TO STINK.
>> LIKE A NICE MINESTRONE OR ALPHABET SOUP WITH A LETTER
HANGING OFF, WE'LL BE FINE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
NICE.
OR WE COULD SEND HIM CARE PACKAGES, SOMETHING FROM BLUE
APRON, MAYBE.
>> PERFECT.
>> Stephen: I LOVE IT WHEN I SEE PEOPLE GO ON THE SHOW AND
YOU TOOK THE SPECIAL DOWN TO PUERTO RICO.
>> WE DID.
>> Stephen: WHEN DID YOU DO THIS?
>> MID FEBRUARY.
WE TOOK SO MUCH OF THE STAFF.
>> Stephen: JUST DECIDED FEBRUARY TO GO TO PUERTO RICO.
>> COINCIDENCE.
>> Stephen: TOTALLY ALTRUISTIC.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE IN THE TROPICS RIGHT NOW.
>> I PREFER PLACES WHERE THERE'S A DOUBLE RAINBOW, LIKE, EVERY
DAY.
WHATEVER.
( LAUGHTER ) YEAH, SO WE -- BECAUSE WE -- IT
REALLY RESONATED WITH US THAT OUR RESPONSE TO THE HURRICANE IS
SO DISASTER STROUSE AND CONTINUES TO BE DISASTROUS.
SO WE KEPT PITCHING STORIES ABOUT WHAT IF WE FOLLOWED UP ON
THIS.
I THOUGHT WHY DON'T WE DO THE SPECIAL, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE
IN FEBRUARY, AND WE WENT ON THE ROAD AND I'M REALLY PROUD OF IT.
THE SPECIAL HOURS TOMORROW NIGHT AT 10:00.
IT'S A FULL HOUR.
WE'RE GETTING A BASELINE FOR PUERTO RICO.
ATES VERY JOYFUL SPECIAL.
IT WAS A VERY SPECIAL EXPERIENCE, I WOULD SAY.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE SOME OF THE CONDITIONS?
I UNDERSTAND THERE ARE STILL PARTS OF PUERTO RICO THAT DON'T
HAVE POWER OR RUNNING WATER.
>> YES, WE MET SO MANY PEOPLE WHO STILL DON'T HAVE POWER.
IT'S SO INTERESTING BECAUSE YOU CAN GO INTO A TOWN THAT WOULD
APPEAR -- YOU KNOW, OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE AND WALGREEN'S ARE IN
BUSINESS.
BUT IF YOU GO UP THE HILL IN A MOUNTAINOUS AREA, PEOPLE IN
THEIR HOMES DON'T HAVE POWER.
IT'S OPINION CREDIBLE TO THINK ABOUT HOW YOU HAVE TO REORDER
YOUR LIFE.
>> Stephen: HOW DO THEY DO ANY BASIC THINGS?
>> ONE THING WE DID WAS WENT TO A LAUNDRY PARTY.
>> Stephen: A LAUNDRY -- YES, IN A TOWN IN THE
MOUNTAINS, A LAUNDRY COMPANY SPONSORS A TOUR BUS AND THEY PUT
WASHERS AND DRYERS AND DRIVE INTO A PARKING LOT AND PEOPLE
BRING THEIR LAUNDRY AND IT'S PUERTO RICO SO THEY HAVE A
DEEJAY AND PEOPLE GETTING HAIRCUTS AND HAVING BEER AND
PEOPLE BRING THEIR QUARTERRERS, DO THEIR LAUNDRY AND GO BACK
HOME.
>> Stephen: I WOULD LIKE TO DO MY LAUNDRY AT A LAUNDRY PARTY.
>> WELL, EVERY LAUNDRY DAY IS A PARTY IN MY HOUSE.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT PEOPLE HAVE HAD TO ADJUST
THEMSELVES IN WAYS THAT ARE INSANE.
>> Stephen: WELL, I LOOK FORWARD TO THE SPECIAL.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: WONDERFUL THING FOR YOU TO GO DO.
>> WELL, DON'T -- NO.
IT WAS MY PLEASURE TO GO.
THEY GAVE ME MORE THAN I GAVE THEM, BELIEVE ME.
>> Stephen: WHILE YOU WERE DOWN THERE, DID YOU STEAL A CAR?
>> I STOLE ALL THE CARS.
OF COURSE, I HIJACKED CARS.
I STOLE YOUR CAR EARLIER.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN HAVE IT, YOU DESERVE IT.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: SAM.
ALWAYS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: "FULL FRONTAL'S
GREAT AMERICAN PUERTO RICO SPECIAL" AIRS
TOMORROW ON TBS.
SAMANTHA BEE, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LESLIE ODOM, JR.