the shocking truth about the narcissist's real feelings
hello lovelies welcome to narc free formula my name is freedom thanks for joining me all
right let's jump straight into this you would be shocked if you actually knew what the narcissist
um was feeling about you or in relation to you um most people think that you know that
other people feel you know the same way we do you know that they love like we do and that
they get hurt like we get hurt you know that they feel the same you know kind of range of emotions
this couldn't be further from the truth when it comes to the narcissist it's almost like they're
kind of the polar opposite they do learn obviously how to mirror our emotions feelings and behaviors
so they might appear to feel the same way as we do you know so when we're being all loving towards
them you know they will reflect that back to us but they're not doing it because they feel that
way they're doing it because when they act that way they get a certain react and response from
you I.E you gash fuel you give them so much energy and attention and you know so freely it comes so
freely so that works essentially that worked for the narcissus so they'll do it again but
in regards to actually how they really are feeling about you um that's like I said it's another thing
altogether let's just break it down the main emotions that narcissists will be feeling are
things like anger they are very easily triggered because of their low self-esteem and they're you
know this kind of belief they've got this low self-seam combined with the belief that they
are special and therefore they deserve special treatment and when they don't receive it or or
if if at your as a partner you expect equality in the narcissist mind that's an insult how dare you
you you're not equal in their mind you're not equal to them at all you know they are superior
um and you are not so if you trying to get you know equality in a relationship with them like
I said that triggers off this you know sense of entitlement narcissists are very entitled
they think that they should have what they want when they want it how they want it
um and there should be no repercussions whatsoever for any of our Behavior so when for example um for
a lot of narcissists who who show signs of being jealous jealousy is an interesting one because
they they can act jealous about someone and then also try and get that person's attention so for
example you know they might get jealous um about you talking to their friend right you were talking
to their friend and their friend was laughing and you're having great old conversation now the
narcissists got triggered their jealousy and rage got triggered by this conversation but you know in
a normal person's mind you would think they would be concerned about you know losing their partner
but essentially what the narcissist is more concerned about is that the that their partner
is the one that's getting their attention the you know that the in their mind their best friend
and their best friend's attention should be on them as the bestie not as you the partner
you know so they're jealous of the best friend and they're also jealous that you are giving
um energy and attention to someone else and that you're doing it publicly
um and that you're you know showing some kind of allegiance to that person so there's a kind of
it's like weird subplot they have going in there in their mind or subconscious you know they're
just really aware of everyone's loyalties where everyone's you know where everyone
stands essentially and they always want to be the person who has the most control is
the most dominant has everyone looking up to them and like I said you know if you're not in
any way if you're letting them down anyway that really annoys them so they get annoyed with you
but then they also have to devalue you in their mind so they start imagining things like well I
don't I don't really want to anyhow you know if she's gonna flirt with this bloke in front
of me you know then he can have a like they deserve each other I you know I I'm better
than I'm better than them this is sort of like I said just imaginings in the narcissist's head
but as for the feelings like I said this kind of betrayal they feel betrayed you know that you've
done something wrong and you can just accidentally do anything you know literally you can
accidentally betray them you know in their mind by things so basic as like I don't know maybe you
um forgotten Department an important work thing that they had on you know or maybe
um one of your sisters got sick and you had to go and you know um drop off some soup and spend some
time you know helping her with the kids at her place or something now that in and of itself in
a normal healthy relationship that that would be no big deal because that's what family do
and that's how we support each other but to The Narcissist that's you showing Allegiance above
and beyond them you know showing allegiance to your sister and that once again like I said
feels like a betrayal so they resent you this is another common feeling resentment
um they resent you for doing things for other people for being happy there isn't
any kind of accomplishments that you have um any achievements that you get at work if you
um you know to say you've got promoted that kind of thing the narcissus resents you for and the
thing is although at the time they might not be in a position where they can say anything about it
you know they just they'll you know put it in this little naughty or nice list that they carry
around in their mind they will remember right they will remember and at some point in the future when
you have a fight you know they will say about how you think you are so much better than them since
you got your promotion you know how you just so high and mighty like I said they they hang on
to these things they keep a little running tally in fact I'm going to link um a video here about
the naughty or nice list that's what I call it um so insecure jealous betrayed um what else
narcissists have issues really that's probably the politest way of putting it they really do
have issues and the thing is as I said you know more often than not you won't know what's going
on with them because they wear a mask but you know although the exterior might be calm the interior
and what's going on inside is not and like I said if you think sorry if they think that you
have betrayed them or you've done something that's disappointed them or they're feeling
resentful towards you there will be payback for that they have to balance the scales you
may never know how they did it it could be something um for example a narcissist would
get a kick out of using the bathroom not washing their hairs and then putting their hands in your
food or spitting in your food or ejaculating in your shampoo these are the kinds of things that
narcissists do that you know only they know about so they get a kick out of knowing that you know
oh you think you're so high minded with your new promotion and then you know having a laugh
that you're going off to work every morning after shampooing your hair these are the kinds of things
like I said these people are really disordered and they do things outside of societal Norms you
know so when when you hear me saying that you'd be like oh my God no no one does that kind of
thing yes narcissists do that kind of thing this is the whole point they are disordered
um they're deeply resentful they're all about that payback you know they don't like being laughed at
they've got really really um shallow sorry they're really really thin-skinned you know things affect
them even though they look hard and resilient on the outside things affect them and they they will
get payback they will do things that you don't know about um you'll just be wondering why all
of a sudden they've gone from Silent rageful to them being you know either wanted to have
sex with you again or um you know being happy and they're smiling and you say what's you know what
is what are you so happy about or nothing nothing you know they love this keeping of the secrets
um so I think you know I really do think that the way we imagine oh sorry sorry I think that what
we think about other people and how they think compared to the reality of what's actually going
on inside the narcissist mind and reality really is like I said so far removed it is shocking it
is shocking and it's when we look back at it and we realize you know what we've put up with
um it makes you wonder you know how do we how do we not see you know but for me personally
I always felt all this stuff you know at the time I couldn't figure it out but I always felt it and
it's just in hindsight now that I can actually with that time and distance look back at it all
and piece the bits and pieces together um and actually realize that you know that the person
that I thought I was with was very different to the actual reality plus also I had the benefit
of hindsight through I had a an old mobile phone of his that he hadn't logged out of
um and it had access to all of his latest Facebook messages people that he'd been talking to
um people had been emailing bloody groups um like uh you know kind of online Meetup places and stuff
um you know he already had profiles I had access to all of that after we'd separated and so for me
like I said that gave me the best insight into what it was actually going on you know because
he said one thing to me and then I could see all this other stuff going on so on one hand
he was trying to pretend you know that he was really really happy with the new Supply and yet
there he was literally in the um you know lacan 2 and all those kind of dating apps
um looking for someone so it just goes to show that the way they uh show up in the world is
very different to the way they actually are they have a very big secret life in fact I
might even do a video about this all right I'm going to link it here thanks for listening bye