(soft upbeat music)
- I was born in the States but I grew up here in Korea.
I went to an international school for 13 years of my life
which is everything. (laughs)
And then I went to school in America for university.
Since I went to an international school,
it was very different.
I felt like I didn't fit in
with like Korean American Americans
and then I didn't feel like I fit in with Koreans
like I was too American to be Korean Korean,
too Korean to be Korean American.
That was just like basically my entire life growing up.
I pretty much hung out with kids
who were of the same background as me,
who didn't fit either in like the Korean Korean kids
or Korean American side.
So they don't let you speak Korean in international school.
They only let you speak in English, learn things in English.
Secondary language, they prefer you to learn
like a completely new language other than Korean
which was interesting because we live in Korea
and I would've thought if you wanna immerse yourself
into the culture that you are literally in,
wouldn't it be better to learn Korean?
But they were like,
"No, you should learn French or Spanish."
Which is what I did, (laughs)
I learned French.
You know how language is tied with culture
and culture is just inherently tied with language,
I feel that because I wasn't able to fully engage
with other Korean Korean peers in Korean,
it has taken away a little bit
from the Korean Korean experience.
Growing up, elementary, middle, high school,
they were very much influenced by American pop culture.
I did not listen to K-Pop growing up,
I listened to like Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift.
That was like one of the biggest differences I guess,
the music, art, maybe even sports.
I was more of like a swimming girl
but like everyone would play soccer.
Not that swimming is really an American sport
but it's more westernized.
As a third culture kid,
it really kind of alienates you sometimes from both sides.
I don't think I would trade it
for anything else in the world 'cause it was very unique,
it was very special and I enjoyed it.
As I said before, I used to be a swimmer
but then I dislocated my shoulder
and so I tried to find somewhere else
to relieve my creative output
and it happened to be musical theater.
My best friend at that time, she passed away two years ago,
I was very shy and very self-conscious
but she was the one who helped me get on stage
and she's the one who pulled me into choir,
into singing, into acting.
Every time I do something that has to do with either
in the entertainment side like theater, music,
I just always wanna keep her in mind
and be thankful to what she's brought to me.
I went to NYU musical theater, not Tisch,
I went to Steinhardt.
So it was quite a bit of a culture shock for me
when I went from Korea to New York.
I thought I would be okay because you know,
oh, I can speak perfect English, wrong.
It was so hard to assimilate and to really get used
to other people's microaggressions particularly
and not so microaggressions, just things like,
oh, how come you're so good at English?
When I smile, I look so Asian,
coming from a non-Asian person.
Koreans never experienced racism in Korea
so that was quite a shock.
There were quite blatant aggressive remarks
such as go back from where you came from
and other not so nice things.
So first of all,
even though they say it's an international school,
it's mostly Korean kids
whereas in America it's a melting pot,
it's a mix of all different kinds of races.
There weren't a lot of different races in my major
because musical theater is a major
that only those who have the privilege to experience
have access to.
Being immersed in an all Korean, almost, well,
mostly Korean community and then being plucked from that
and being placed into a very white dominant community
was very nerve-wracking for me.
My first couple years in the States
were filled with home sickness,
I just like could not get out of bed.
I would watch K-dramas all day.
But I started coming out of that shell
after I joined my church, joined a Korean American society,
the student association and I realized,
oh, not all people in America are like that.
And I have a couple really good friends,
who are not Korean, who love me for who I am
instead of looking down on me.
The term Korean American is such a broad term.
It's not quite right to say that
I'm a Korean with an American passport.
I can't exactly say that I am like a proud American.
I have been in America for university but I haven't truly
taken the step to live my life in America.
It's a really weird situation for me I guess
because I can speak English perfectly fine,
I understand American pop culture
but I don't consider America my home.
And on the other hand, I am fluent in Korean
but I don't understand quite everything
that everyone has to say.
Like if I go to church and sit through a Korean sermon,
I would understand like 50% of it.
But I've lived here my entire life
and I would consider Korea my home.
Like I've said before,
culture and language are so inherently tied together
that you can't have one without the other.
This is why I want my future kids to learn Korean
because that's my culture
and that's their grandparents' culture.
Culture is so special, it makes you unique.
Each person has their own unique differences.
Their differences and uniqueness can contribute
to the future of the culture, the family,
society in general.
My name is Eunice Yei Lee
and this is my Korean American story.
(soft upbeat music)